Motherhood is filled with ups and downs, like feeling so much love for your little ones and then having to pee in front of an audience. To find out more about the hilariously real side of motherhood, we scoured Twitter and gathered the tweets below. Enjoy, and happy Mother's Day!
Most of the time I feel more like a genie granting unlimited wishes than a mom.
— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) August 3, 2015
Didn't realize how much motherhood had changed me until I army crawled in & out of my sleeping baby's room to get my 1/2 cup of cold coffee.
— Cray at Home Ma (@cray_at_home_ma) March 16, 2016
I'm a woman. I'll tear you to shreds.
— Wendy S. (@maughammom) October 13, 2015
But I'm a mom so I'll have to throw the shreds away because WHY CAN'T ANYONE ELSE PICK UP AROUND HERE
I don't even know why my kids call me mom. Clearly when they look at me they see a human napkin.
— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) March 30, 2016
We plan to be kind patient moms who accept our kids exactly as they are then we see them take 45 mins to eat a goddamn bowl of Lucky Charms.
— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) March 18, 2016
Motherhood: I'm just a girl, in a world, hoping to one day eat dinner sitting down.
— MommieKnowsfresh (@MommieKnwsFresh) August 24, 2015
Ever notice in the story of the 3 bears, Papa Bear's porridge is piping hot, baby's is perfect, & poor Mama Bear's is cold?
— Domestic Goddess (@DomesticGoddss) July 27, 2015
I get it now.
Motherhood:
— Next Life, NO Kids (@NextLifeNOKids) July 23, 2015
Because it's not for lack of trying that I never leave the house.
Most of my time as a mother has been spent in a closet, eating something I didn't want to share.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) February 3, 2015
Googling Literally Everything: A New Mom's Story
— Lori Fradkin (@LoriFradkin) December 11, 2015
Hands down, my favorite part of being a mom is waking up early to cook a hot nutritious breakfast no one eats.
— Paige Kellerman (@PaigeKellerman) April 15, 2016
My new scent, "mom's purse," is a heady mix of peppermint gum, hand lotion samples, cherry lipgloss, smudged to-do list ink & peanut butter.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) July 22, 2015
Me to baby: Say Dada!
— CrazyExhaustion (@CrazyExhaustion) March 24, 2015
Husband: You don't want her first word to be Mama?
Me: Hell no! The other 2 won't leave me alone. This one's yours.
Dear children,
— qwertygirl (@qwertygirl) October 5, 2015
It's not actually necessary for me to put your birthdays in my calendar. It's not like you'd let me forget them.
Signed,
Mom
Made it to that level of mom where I'm receiving emails with exclusive information about the upcoming KidzBop tour.
— Lurk @ Home Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) October 29, 2015
8yo: Who's your favorite villain?
— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) July 21, 2015
10yo: Mom.
8yo & 10yo: (laughs)
Me: I can hear you, ya know.
10yo: See?
8yo & 10yo: (laughs forever)
"Hey kids! Let's play!"
— Toni Hammer (@realtonihammer) December 2, 2015
*blank stares*
"Hey kids, I'm gonna get some housework done."
"Mom let's play! Mom I'm hungry! Mom I need you!"
I was chosen room mom for 5's kindergarten class.
— JuneBug (@jenyb4) August 12, 2015
That's it. That's the joke.
Mom karma: When your favorite song comes on and you are excited to sing along, your kid asks you how babies come out from where you pee.
— Danielle Herzog (@martinisandmini) August 4, 2015
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