Marital problems don't always rear their heads in the form of some big dramatic incident, like infidelity or abuse. Sometimes, it's the little things that warn of an imminent divorce.
Below, experts share 11 signs your marriage is in trouble.
1. She tells someone else her funny work stories.
“If you're no longer the one that your partner turns to when they have an anecdote to share, then you may not be first in their affections; they think you don't really care about what's important to them. Either way, this is a sign that the relationship needs some attention.” -- Samantha Rodman, clinical psychologist and dating coach
2. You no longer go to bed at the same time.
“This could be a sign that they are avoiding intimacy. They might be unhappy in the relationship and creating distance between you in the bedroom.” -- Tammy Nelson, sexologist and the author of The New Monogamy
3. He's increasingly irritable.
“I’ve seen many couples whose main presenting ‘symptom’ was the husband’s crankiness. He may appear irritable over seemingly small things -- kind of a chronic dark mood. In these couples, the man often does not know how to address his dissatisfaction with his wife. Or, he doesn’t feel like he has the right to ‘complain’ about her, or he anticipates that she won’t want to hear it. In any case, he disguises or displaces his upset, sometimes to issues related to the children, or perhaps more trivial domestic matters.” -- Amy Begel, family therapist and blogger at Relationship Rhythms
4. She's uncooperative.
“They don’t offer to help, and you may get an eye roll or a sigh when you ask for help. Your partner doesn't offer to do things with you or for you that they once did, like putting dinner together or gardening. They just aren't involved or seem disengaged from doing things together.” -- Stephanie Buehler, psychologist and sex therapist at The Buehler Institute
5. He avoids being alone with you.
“I counseled a guy who wouldn't go to dinner with his wife alone. He was alright if other people were with them, but he didn't want to be alone with just her because it made him too uncomfortable being with the one he supposedly loved.” -- Kurt Smith, counselor and director of Guy Stuff Counseling & Coaching
6. There's been a breakdown in communication.
“Sometimes a marriage begins with strong communication, and then a change -- slow or sudden -- occurs. My interviews with hundreds of older people about what makes relationships work identified a key danger sign: When people stop talking, it’s a major warning sign that something is wrong. One interviewee summed up the views of almost everyone in the study: ‘Let’s say that you do have a good relationship with your husband, and all of the sudden things sort of dry up as far as conversation is concerned. Well, I think that’s a danger sign happening there.’ If good communication takes a sudden turn for the worse, it can be a sign that your partner is unhappy.” -- Karl Andrew Pillemer author of "30 Lessons for Loving: Advice from the Wisest Americans on Love, Relationships, and Marriage"
7. Physical intimacy and affection are things of the past.
“When there is a marked decrease in physical affection, this can be a sign that something is amiss in the relationship, in general. This is especially true if there used to be a lot of touching and now there isn't.” -- Samantha Rodman
8. She's never available.
“Escape can take any number of forms, but it always involves avoidance of the partner. Both women and men can escape into work, friends, sports or family. A partner can recognize ‘escape’ because the other partner becomes increasingly and uncharacteristically unavailable. While the reasons for absence often sound plausible -- a new work demand, for example -- an atmosphere of emotional estrangement develops between the couple. This feels like abandonment -- quite painful to the partner who’s being left.” -- Amy Begel
9. He no longer initiates sex.
“Though they sound legitimate, like having some sort of pain or being fatigued, they also never initiate sex. When you stop imitating, they don't seem to notice. If you bring it up, you just get another excuse.” -- Stephanie Buehler
10. Screen time has superseded quality time.
“Any screen -- cell phone, tablet, computer, TV -- that becomes more important than you is a warning sign. Watch out for any kind of escaping behavior, especially anything that becomes excessive or obsessive, like watching sports, gaming, surfing the internet, social media or even work.” -- Kurt Smith
11. He only seems to care about work.
“My long-married respondents say that you should take a closer look if your partner begins to throw all of his or her energy into work. Something along these lines: You’ve set it all up on Friday night. Your husband is working late, so you get home early and prepare a special dinner. The candles are lit, music is on and your plan is to have a true quiet evening at home, where you can relax and refresh yourselves. Your husband breezes in and is so caught up in his work obsession that he doesn’t notice. Instead, he launches into a long litany of work dumped on him, new deadlines and what a jerk his boss is. You try to reorient him, but it doesn’t work. Work can be demanding, but when it threatens to eclipse the relationship, it’s a warning sign your partner may be unhappy.” -- Karl Andrew Pillemer
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