The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant -- but succinct -- wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week's great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
"I haven't treated myself in a while. I deserve this." -me, talking myself into buying something ten minutes after I last bought something
— farwz (@farwzaz) May 24, 2016
The real tragedy of adulthood is that they stop making dinosaur-shaped things for you
— Heben Nigatu (@heavenrants) May 25, 2016
College graduates look awfully happy for people who’ll never have an entire summer off again.
— side-eye spice (@goldengateblond) May 24, 2016
If I had a dollar for every time a white dude on Twitter explained the joke I just made back to me I'd be rich.
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) May 25, 2016
Waking up a minute before your alarm clock goes off is also known as Intro to Hell 101
— Gloria Fallon (@GloriaFallon123) May 24, 2016
I've watched 2.5 episodes of Real Housewives of New York and I'm already considering abandoning journalism to build my own nebulous empire
— Jazmine Hughes (@jazzedloon) May 21, 2016
A teen at the gym was rude to me but I took out my keys as I left like "yeah look how many things I can unlock" and I bet he was intimidated
— audrey farnsworth (@audipenny) May 24, 2016
Facetime fulfills a secret human desire: to mostly look at yourself while talking to other people
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) May 26, 2016
"Shut the front door." - my dad trying to quote last night's Game of Thrones.
— Nina Bargiel (@slackmistress) May 24, 2016
Love and support is great but what I'm really looking for out of a relationship is for someone to send me the heart eyes emoji every day
— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) May 21, 2016
just tried to control Z a lane change i made while driving
— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) May 25, 2016
There's a special place in hell for girls who don't tell other girls where they bought their outfit.
— Jenny Mollen (@jennyandteets) May 25, 2016
be honest: how many of you can't cry or achieve sexual arousal unless the hamilton soundtrack is playing
— Erin Gloria Ryan (@morninggloria) May 26, 2016
"I don't dislike her because she's a woman, I dislike her because she's untrustworthy, like she'd eat an apple even if you told her not to."
— Chloe Angyal (@ChloeAngyal) May 26, 2016
Saw a man this morning driving a car with a pro-Bernie sticker and a pro-Trump sticker and it's like we get it you hate women.
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) May 26, 2016
Alienate any man with this One Weird Trick: correctly and straightforwardly identifying literally any emotion you're having
— Amanda Mull (@amandamull) May 24, 2016
You can complain all you want about women taking selfies; we aren't the ones naming our children our own exact fucking names.
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) May 25, 2016
Me (sits down at breakfast)
— Nicole Cliffe (@Nicole_Cliffe) May 27, 2016
My mom (very seriously, leans forward): "Why are Batman and Superman fighting?"
Ugh I had such a busy day today. Soulcycle, Law&Order SVU, got a fav from Lin MM AND Mariska H aka Olivia Benson. I work hard for this life
— Jenny Han (@jennyhan) May 26, 2016
Isn't it crazy how if dogs eat a lot of chocolate they die but when humans do we're already dead inside
— Eliza Bayne (@ElizaBayne) May 27, 2016