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March 4, 2015

62 Takeaways From CPAC 2015, Ranked

Any time a thing happens in politics, the media has "Takeaways" about that thing. And whenever the media has a bunch of Takeaways, Eat The Press gathers all of those Takeaways in one place, so that you can sate your yawning hunger for Takeaways. This past weekend, the Beltway played host to the annual Conservative Political Action Conference, which, by Eat the Press' count, resulted in 62 hot, delicious Takeaways. Here is a definitive ranking of all of them.

Hillary Clinton Email Story Gets Much Stranger

Hillary
AP

More Politics
Walker Drama.. Graham Cheap Shot.. O'Malley Out.. Bombshell Report Disputed.. Pelosi: 'Near Tears'

Bupkis!

Netanyahu
AP

Obama: Offered No 'Viable Alternatives' To Iran Deal... Did Speech Do More Harm Than Good?

REPORT: NBC Shakeup Could Open The Door For Brian Williams' Return

Brian Williams Nbc
ASSOCIATED PRESS

More Media
TV News' Diversity Problem.. PR KILLING Journalism.. First Look TELL-ALL.. 'SNL' ISIS Skit..

'American Democracy Is Doomed'

Washington Burning
Library of Congress

The Morning Email: Petraeus Takes Plea Deal

Alabama Supreme Court Blocks Same-Sex Marriages

Roy Moore Alabama
Matthew Cavanaugh via Getty Images

Nearly 1,000 Migrants Rescued Off Italy

Italy Migrants Rescued
ASSOCIATED PRESS

More WorldPost
ISIS' Marriage Trap.. China's 'Inconvenient Truth'.. NFL Stars In Turkey!.. Manufacture Desire.. 6,000+

Really, CNN?

Jon Stewart Jews
Comedy Central

More Comedy
Funny Texting Pranks.. John Oliver Rant.. SNL Cut This 'Fifty Shades' Sketch.. #WeaselPecker Meme

THE END: House Caves In Homeland Security Fight With Obama

House Funding Dhs
Chip Somodevilla via Getty Images

Official: Dozens Dead In Ukraine Coal Mine Explosion

Zasyadko Mine Explosion
JOHN MACDOUGALL via Getty Images

Did He Lie To Congress? Bibi's Speech Fact-Checked

Netanyahu
Win McNamee via Getty Images

What Prominent Israelis Thought Of Netanyahu's Speech

Target To Cut Thousands Of Jobs

Target Logo
ASSOCIATED PRESS

More Business
Courting Disaster.. Big Costco Change.. Best Business States.. Aetna's CEO Mantra.. Apple Pay Scam

Ferguson Police Department May Fold Due To DOJ Probe

Ferguson Police Line
JOSHUA LOTT via Getty Images

Feds: Cops Routinely Discriminate Against Black Residents

Texas Shootings Kill 3 Young Boys In Just 4 Days

Texas Child Shootings
Family Photo

More Crime
Mommy Blogger.. 'Baby Boxes'.. Cop Arrested For Soliciting Women.. Kids In Cage.. Adderall Arrest

Police: Machete-Wielding Man Held Mom Hostage Over eBay Purchase

Aaron Perez
North Riverside Police

JetBlue Passenger Found Hiding In Cockpit

Jetblue Airlines
ASSOCIATED PRESS

India Bans Film Featuring Interview With Delhi Gang Rape Convict

Mukesh Singh
Hindustan Times via Getty Images

'She Shouldn't Have Fought Back'

Trade Deal Already Hurting Democrats

Ron Wyden
Tom Williams via Getty Images

Hillary Clinton Hints Again At Presidential Run

Hillary Clinton
Justin Sullivan via Getty Images

West Virginia Gov Vetoes 20-Week Abortion Ban For 2nd Time

Earl Ray Tomblin
ASSOCIATED PRESS

Officials Say Man Killed By LAPD Was A Convicted Bank Robber

Lapd Shooting
Facebook/Anthony Blackburn

Oklahoma Moves Closer To Allowing Nitrogen Gas Executions

Oklahoma Capitol
Chris Pritchard via Getty Images

Gender Is Actually Very Relevant In Tech, Despite What Marissa Mayer Says

Marissa Mayer
ASSOCIATED PRESS

Gay Rights Activist Made False Kidnap Claim

Handcuffs
digicomphoto via Getty Images

More Gay Voices
Gay Men And Eating Disorders.. Texas Gets Things Wrong On Marriage.. Butch Lesbian Problems

BlackBerry Unveils New Smartphone

Blackberry Leap
BlackBerry

More Tech
Waze Amber Alerts.. Phone Battery Poll.. New BlackBerry.. Lenovo Investigated.. Google's Cellular Plan

28 Countries Reportedly More Vulnerable To Ebola Than Liberia

Save The Children
CJ Clarke/Save the Children

Congrats Young Scientists, You Face The Worst Research Funding Decades

Mad Scientist
H. Armstrong Roberts via Getty Images

Student Debt Rebellion Gains Steam In Congress

Maxine Waters
Bill Clark via Getty Images

Medical Marijuana Trial Ends With Acquittal On All But 1 Charge

Harvey Family Marijuana
Harvey family

Scott Walker Pumps Up Anti-Abortion Cred By Backing 20-Week Ban

Scott Walker
ASSOCIATED PRESS

Massive Operation Is The Most Critical And Complex Battle With ISIS Yet

Tikrit
ASSOCIATED PRESS

Georgia Halts Executions Over Problems With Lethal Injection Drug

Georgia Execution
ASSOCIATED PRESS

NFL Player Announces He's Donating His Brain To Science

Steve
ASSOCIATED PRESS

More Sports
Company Disses NCAA.. Durant Left Hanging.. 'I'll F**king Kill You'.. D-Rose's New Inspirational Video

Feds Raid Alleged 'Maternity Hotels' In California

Maternity Tourism
FREDERIC J. BROWN via Getty Images

Lindsey Graham Took A Cheap, Sexist Shot At Nancy Pelosi

Pelosi
AP

Marathon Bombing Trial Begins: Survivors Remember The Day Everything Changed

Boston Strong
ASSOCIATED PRESS

Where Are They Now?

FOLLOW HUFFPOST

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Ancient Lost City Discovered In Honduras Rainforest

Lost City
Dave Yoder/National Geographic

More Science
Smallest Form Of Life.. Long-Lost Fortress Found.. Hawking's Big Warning.. New View Of Deep Space

'Shahs of Sunset' Star Voices Support For Bibi: 'I'm Down For Bombing Iran'

Reza
HuffPost Live

More HuffPost Live
Nuns Explain True Meaning Of Chastity.. First Feminists In America.. Snooty Beers?.. Cyber Attack

The Key To Cleaning A Cast Iron Skillet

Skillet Brownie
Victoria Pearson via Getty Images

More HuffPost Home
'House Of Cards' Sale.. Martha Says.. How To Clean Cast Iron.. DIY Avocados.. Tour JFK's Home

Would You Let A Dentist Give You Botox?

Botox
Peter Cade via Getty Images

More Healthy Living
Common Sleep Disorders.. Make Running Fun.. Sad Movies.. Best Part-Time Jobs.. Fear

Here's Why You Should Leave The City During A Zombie Apocalypse

Zombie Outbreak
Cornell

More Weird
Kentucky Smells.. Weed In Sour Cream.. Unsurprising DWI Arrest.. Man Fails To Steal Plane

Canadians Are 'Spocking' Their Fivers And It's Totally Legal

Spock 5 Bill Canada
Facebook

You Don't Have To Wait Until Halloween To Dress Up As Left Shark

Katy Perry Shark
ASSOCIATED PRESS

More Style
Ms. Wintour Unplugged.. Neon Nails.. Say It Ain't Khlo, E!.. We <3 Milan Fashion Week.. Blackface Again!

This Is The Perfect Example Of Mom, Interrupted

Toddler Interrupts
YouTube

More Parents
Funny Tweets.. 8 Ways To Have An Informed Birth.. #Brelfies.. Glorious Vintage Photos.. No More Elsa

A Memo To The Men Who Told Me Not To Eat

82277658
altrendo images via Getty Images

More Women
Classic Feminist Flicks.. Eating Disorder Myths.. What Comic Book Heroines SHOULD Look Like..

5 Easy Ways To Stop Wasting Money At The Grocery Store

Woman Grocery Store Jeans
kzenon via Getty Images

More OWN
Liz Taylor's Topless Pics.. Crazy Easy Dinners.. Hoda's Fashion Confession.. Healthy Pancake Recipe

Been Married A Long Time? Here's How To Reclaim The Passion

Couples Sleeping
gmast3r via Getty Images

More Fifty
Warren Buffett's Secret To Long Life.. How To Retire Abroad.. Top Sex Toys.. Judi Dench.. Melanie Griffith

Uber Rides Don't Get Any More Awkward Than This

Uber
Cracked

More Divorce
I Had An Affair.. Boston Marathon Couple Divorce.. Don't Say This On Date.. Doctors' Divorce Rate

Olive Garden Wants To Give You An Extra Meal For Free

Olive Garden
Facebook/Olive Garden

More Taste
20 Most Popular Beers.. America's Original Speakeasies.. Free Cone Day.. Best Babkas.. Pound Cakes

Bill Gates: Studying Dinosaurs Can Help Us Save More Kids' Lives

Dinosaur
Getty

More Impact
Dinosaurs Could Save Kids.. 5-Star Shelter Meals.. Restaurant Hires Convicts.. Harry's Big Plans

Watch These Sisters Totally Nail '1989' Medley

Abby And Audrey Vy
YouTube

More Teen
Fan Renames Herself After Fifth Harmony Singer.. YouTube Stars Give Advice.. Twerk-Tastic Promposal

5 Ways Sleep Deprivation Affects Your Diet

Tired And Eating
lofilolo via Getty Images

Kelly Clarkson Clarifies Her Thoughts On The Word 'Feminist'

Kelly Clarkson
Jo Hale via Getty Images

More Entertainment
Maggie Leaving 'Downton'?.. 'HoC' Breakouts.. Britney Mishap.. 'Community' Trailer.. Kanye

Study On Average Penis Size Redefines 'Normal'

Average Penis Length
RapidEye via Getty Images

Basketball Player Comforts Child Spectator After Court Brawl

Spain Basketball Brawl
ACB / YouTube

Curt Schilling Gets Twitter Troll Who Terrorized His Daughter Fired

Curt Schilling
ASSOCIATED PRESS

Jimmy Kimmel Gives Anti-Vaxxers A Taste Of Their Own Medicine

Kimmel
ABC

Mt. Everest Is Covered In Human Poop, And That's a Problem

Everest Summit
JTB Photo via Getty Images

About This Photo Of A Baby Weasel Flying On A Woodpecker...

Woodpecker Weasel
Martin Le-May

More Green
Koch Brothers.. Pollution Fight.. Doggie Duo.. Eiffel Tower.. Chris Christie Deal.. Arctic Oil.. Flying Animal

Baby Tortoises Born On Galapagos For The First Time In A Century

Pinzon Tortoise
ASSOCIATED PRESS

The Epic Battle Of Dogs vs. Imaginary Doors

Dogs Vs Imaginary Doors
YouTube

More Good News
NYPD Honors Girl.. Tiny Home, Giant Journey.. Final Salute For K-9.. Deputies Save Boy's Birthday

A Simple Exercise That Can Help You Be Happier In 4 Days

Woman Happier
Ezra Bailey via Getty Images

America Ferrera Takes Hollywood's Lack Of Diversity ‘Extremely Personally'

America Ferrera
Andy Kropa /Invision/AP

More Latino Voices
Police Killings Of Latinos.. A Brief Oscar History.. Sean Penn Fail And How Iñárritu's Response

4-Year-Old With Terminal Cancer FaceTimes With Taylor Swift

Jalene Salinas
Facebook

More Celebrity
Carrie's Cute Baby.. OOPS, Brit!.. Kim K's Piano Lessons.. Hi There, DJ Jon.. Gaga's Love Advice