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I'm Not A Lesbian, I'm Just Childless

Posted: 07/20/2012 4:17 pm

Frank Ocean is getting on my nerves. Not for the reason you're thinking. I don't care who you decide to love or sleep with. I'm frustrated because now that he has publicly clarified his sexual preference, folks are trying to predict who will be next.

Even Queen Latifah is catching flack. This past week while visiting The View, the musician, actress and spokesperson found herself dodging sexuality questions posed by Barbara Walters. In her 40's Latifah is childless and thinking of adopting which naturally means, it's time for her to address whether she is gay or straight. The awkward exchange didn't shake Latifah who declared that her private life is not open for discussion.

I'm not a celebrity but I have felt the prying eyes into my sexual origin.

I'm 31 years old, black and childless. Coming from an American-American family with strong southern roots, that means either I can't have kids or I'm a lesbian.

My mother got married at 19 and had me at 22. My grandmother got married late - 23. "And I was a grown woman," she likes to emphasize before reminding me that she also had seven kids. By their example I should have been married by now. They also don't buy into the "black women aren't getting married" hype that's managed to depress a lot of my girlfriends and sell thousands of magazines.

My singleness is a major issue of concern. "Chloe, I don't want you to be alone," my mother says with just enough love so I know that it's coming from a good place. I also know she fears that I'll end up being the old woman with 50 cats, eating cake frosting for dinner being featured on Hoarders: Buried Alive. Good thing I don't like cats.

Why would I subject myself to a life of solitude, unless I was a lesbian and didn't want my family to know? At a recent family gathering, I had a cousin flat out ask me "Chloe, do you like men?" Her bouncing her third child on her knee did not go unnoticed. "I've never seen you with one."

I've never been the type to bring every man I date around the family. There were no suitors calling my mom "Mom" or sitting on the couch watching the game with my dad. Throughout my entire dating life, I've only brought home two guys -- once in college and a recent ex. That leaves a gap long enough to keep my folks wondering what team I'm really playing on.

I could tell by the sound in her voice that she was hoping she would be the one to get me to crack. She would go down in our family history as being the one who "Chloe came out to."

But she was only right about one thing. She's never seen me with a guy because she lives 900 miles away. Apparently that wasn't a logical enough reason. No, I must be a lesbian.

When I told her I was indeed heterosexual, you know her response? "Well, when are you going to have kids?" While her first question had a sympathetic tone to it, this one had a heavy air of "girl, what's wrong with you?"

Just moments before she thought she was going win a toaster oven. Now she's advocating for Occupy Chloe's Womb.

There was a time when my default response to that question was "I don't have kids because I'm not married." But then I made the mistake of saying that to a group of women at a BBQ, all with kids, none of them married. The conversation started with each of them talking about how happy they were to be out without their kids. Then when they noticed I was quiet on the subject, their attention turned to me. As soon as the "d" on "married" came out of my mouth I knew I had successfully offended every woman there. I was the enemy. I considered myself better than them because they took on the task of procreation without a ring. I was insulting their service to increasing the black population by any mean necessary. I was the problem with the world, me with my old fashion values.

Over the years I've found myself dropping hints letting my family know that yes, I enjoy the company of men. I have deliberately let condoms fall out of my pocketbook or popped birth control pills at the dinner table. Don't worry, I did it with class.

My bible-thumping grandmother even shows her concern on occasion. While sitting at her kitchen table, where she holds court, she once told me the story of her friend who found out her granddaughter "liked girls."

"Miss Deloris," she began, taking a sip of her homemade iced tea filled mason jar with a million ice cubes in it. "Those kids of hers got her going crazy. The youngest grand calls herself liking girls." She bit her bottom lip and looked at me with an ultraviolet ray stare.

"Someone said they saw the child walking and holding hands with a girl dressed up like a boy."

Death ray stare.

"The girl wants to move in with her girlfriend. She's only 19."

Gamma ray stare.

I knew exactly how to end this. I took out my birth control pills and popped one.

 

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10:16 PM on 08/08/2012
When guys ask me why am I not married or have kids? I say you guys just hate when a women's free? Don't you? They just look at me shocked. They don't know what to say.
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MrsGreebers
01:46 AM on 07/30/2012
Simply tell them that they never get to meet anyone you're dating because, well, they're so nosy and pushy.
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MrsGreebers
01:42 AM on 07/30/2012
Of course a birth control subscription is no proof, considering that it's simply a hormone pill and addresses several medical issues.
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Athirson
Who is Jonathan E.?
08:37 AM on 07/25/2012
Since when did her private life, including the decision of whether or not to have kids, become anyone else's business? Don't these people have anything better to do?
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ecotopian
I am nerd, hear me geek
12:50 AM on 07/24/2012
I had a great-aunt who was childless and never married. Back in the day, she was called a "maiden aunt." There was no shame in being a maiden aunt. It just meant you never married. Did she have partners of any sort? I have no idea and neither do I care. When I see a woman who is childless and unmarried, I don't think she is gay. I see her as childless and unmarried and I go on with life. I think it comes from having a "maiden" aunt.

You should watch "A Room with a View." There are two sisters who never marry and there is no insinuation that they are gay.
12:15 AM on 07/24/2012
Which partly answers the question of why we struggle with HIV/AIDS. It is perfectly acceptable, if not expected, that Black women have unprotected sex with men who are not committed to or monogamous with us........much less in it for the long haul to raise a child. No thanks.......
11:45 PM on 07/23/2012
I'm way older than you, childless, straight, have enjoyed myself with the necessary birth control pills and condoms, plan to enjoy myself some more, have had many of the same questions, am convinced that family members are the ones who suspect you most, am SO happy I'm not married, could've had kids, didn't and I'm as happy as I could be!!
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RationalCaliGirl
Vasectomies prevent abortions...
08:04 PM on 07/23/2012
I've had family members insinuate that I am a lesbian. I was married for 17 years and since the divorce, they have never seen me with a man and I spend a lot of time with my unmarried childless friend. I guess it doesn't help that I receive the Vanguard monthly newsletter for the Los Angeles LGBT center, which I started receiving after signing the 2005 petition supporting marriage equality in here in CA. My friend had the same thing happen to her as well. It's really insulting because if I were a lesbian, I would tell them. Why in the world would I hide it? I keep my private life, private and that doesn't mean that I am gay.
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Shaun Hensley
The American Experiment has failed
07:26 PM on 07/23/2012
Whenever your relatives and friends give you grief, Chloe, just remember that misery loves company. :)
06:50 PM on 07/24/2012
Yeah they want you to be miserable by having kids like them...
07:05 PM on 07/23/2012
"When are you going to... How come you haven't... Why aren't you... I'm so sorry you don't have..."
All of that up there? It's procreator-code for "What's wrong with you?"
I really don't think your race or religion or financial status plays a defining part in this kind of criticism. I'm 47, of European/Russain descent, atheist, have a somewhat decent job, obey the law, pay my own way, and am happy with my (very) minor successes... and I, like most of my friends, CHOSE not to have kids.
I have never hidden the fact that I have no interest in marriage or children, and that I am hetero - and I need to explain that last bit to procreators every single time! It's an insult to me & childless women everywhere, and it's especially insulting to lesbians.
Women I don't even know at the grocery store say "I'm so sorry, that's so sad" after they've gone on & on about their kids and then I state that I don't have any. "Why on earth are you sorry?" I say. "I chose not to. I don't want any. I never did." And then I get looked at like I have just grown a third head.
The worst part about this is that most of the judgement calls are being made by my fellow women.
Do confirmed bachelors get this kind of pressure and criticism? I doubt it. What a bunch of stereotypical crap.
06:34 PM on 07/23/2012
Like Stephanie stated, no one has asked whether I'm a lesbian or not, but I think they suspect it. However, different from Stephanie, I'm 44, never been married, and childless. The only savings grace is that I have a 70 year old aunt in the same predicament. But, since I’m also an only child, I hear it from her most of all.

Being a single 40-something, I desire a man who has (non-depreciating) assets, limited children (2 max), and no baby mama drama. That’s hard to come by these days! I always had the desire to be a mother, but I wasn’t raised to be a baby mama, the ring MUST come first. Now that I’m 44, in considering the possibility of being part of the sandwich generation, a baby just doesn’t fit into the picture that is my life. Like me, my parents are older (68 and 69) and I don’t want the responsibility of raising a baby/toddler while trying to take care of senior citizens, all while attempting to be an excellent employee.

Obviously, God has another plan for me. I can’t say I like it, but I’m enjoying the process of accepting this situation. I can come and go as I please, make last minute decisions to attend a concert event, or take a last minute trip. If God wants me to be a mother, He’ll make it happen. In the meantime, my family will just have to get over it. :-)
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Stephanie Gustafson
05:35 PM on 07/23/2012
Nobody's actually asked me whether I'm a lesbian or not yet, but I have the feeling some suspect it, seeing as I'm 23 (such an old maid) and have only had one boyfriend. I don't get asked about babies yet, but I do get the significant other question all the time. With many of my friends getting engaged and married (and two having children out of wedlock) I have the feeling I'll be getting those baby questions within the next few years.
05:50 PM on 07/23/2012
People have been assuming that I have been a lesbian since high school. While at the same time, since high school as well, older people have assumed that I am married as well. Once when I was 13 a lady thought that my little brother was my kid. I have had so many weird baseless assumptions made about me I have no idea what I will hear next.
05:22 PM on 07/23/2012
Sorry- I had to cut down my comment because it had too many words....I said what I was saying in my comment to a guy in a bar that was being rude about my being single with no kids. He told me after he asked my age and I told him how old I was, that I could no longer have kids without them coming out handicapped.... hence my reference in my other comment to the guy in the bar being stunned.
05:00 PM on 07/23/2012
I would rather not be married and not have kids, than to find the nearest man, marry him and get pregnant by him just so I can be married and have a child. I know people (male and female) who did just that, and they are living to regret their decision. Over the years witnessing it has been painful to watch.

I didn't want to look up from the dinner table one day at a man I never loved, and kids that I would rather not have to raise, but are obligated to raise. No matter how much you love them, if you don't want to be there, children will feel that on some level and it will hurt them in a way that is permanently damaging. I never wanted that, and I can live with the choices I have made in my life. I have peace of mind because I am not creating pain for other people based on my own personal agenda.

The guy in the bar was stunned. He didn't know what to say. I also told him that a man that is in love with and married to a woman that doesn't love him at all is in an impossible position because nothing he does will ever be good enough. He will never make enough money, never look good enough, etc, to get the response he is looking for in her because it was never there in the first place. No- I'm sorry- count me out.
02:31 PM on 07/23/2012
Everybody answers to God when it comes to His laws. We don't and can't judge for Him, no matter how hard we try.
Let's be more diligent about our own personal behavior, and love God first and our fellow human beings as we love ourselves to help make the world a better place for all of us.