Hillary Vows To Ignore "Elite Math" In Primary Race

At a town hall meeting in Pinehurst, North Carolina Senator Hillary Clinton told a crowd of about one-hundred that she wouldn't be beholden to the 'elitist cult of mathematicians and numerologists' when it came to deciding the winner of Democratic primary race. In response to a question about articles suggesting the mathematical impossibility of her winning the race, a visibly populist Senator Clinton lashed out at what she called 'math-a-cators and math-er-bators'.

"For too long now, the elites who do the adding and multiplying and goes-intas has let their smart alec numbers keep down the little people like you and me," Clinton told the group, which consisted mostly of a local "Over-Sixty-But-Still-Sexy" group. "Bills come in the mail, full of numbers and confusing symbols. They say they want to determine this election by adding up the number of voters and states won and delegates and superdelegtes and all confusing manner of hokum but I'm not listening to those who count the Numbers Of The Beast because I'm so busy fighting for you!"

Clinton then pointed to the questioner, who wore glasses, and yelled "Math lover!" The crowd suddenly coiled as one; a beast with two-hundred furious eyes and four-hundred talons that ripped off the man's limbs and left his body twisted and crumpled on the ground. The mob pelted his twitching remains with bowling balls and copies of Senator Clinton's book It Takes A Village.

Reports from the victim's family suggest he had no particular affinity for math but was, in fact, slightly nearsighted.

Comments

[katefranklin]

Pelted with bowling balls, but also blasted to smithereens with Grandpa Rodham's fabled shotgun. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/04/15/jon-stewart-mocks-obama-b_n_96760.html

[Zanti]

You again.

[Lee Stranahan - Huffpost Blogger]

See Lee Stranahan's Profile

Indeed.

[gclum]

I thought this was serious at first, was getting really mad. Then the Math-er-bators comment enlightened me. Hilarious and really feels like it could happen. Which is scarry!

[Zanti]

I see. But you weren't alerted by the mention of numerology, a crank science?

[Gma11]

Oh, it's such a relief to read something like this! Thank you. What would we do without comedy and irony?

[margoharris]

This is insanity! What the hell is she saying? She is preying on these oldsters and trying to confuse the issue that: Obama has the lead in Delegates (the metric that Democrats use to pick their nominee) Obama is ahead in the popular vote, Obama leads in money raised and is still going strong.
Yes We Can!

[thicky]

who is a pandering jackass?

http://www.canada.com/montrealgazette/features/viewpoints/story.html?id=b9e1670f-0024-416f-be48-3a8ff93eed9f&k=47283

[IslandGyal]

ROTFLMAO

[Darnamell]

Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

I needed a good laugh.

[altohone]

Math-er-bators

Too funny!

[druhanson]

goes-intas made me think of Bill and the females !

The thing that really scares me is that I thought that this article was for real !! It was'nt until the last paragraph that I caught on !!

It sounds like something she would try to shove down our throats !!!

Not that it matters, but who is Chelsea's Daddy ???!!!

[Zanti]

"The thing that really scares me is that I thought that this article was for real !"

Scares YOU?

[timm0]

Yes, that is a good one.

However, I have a hard time being amused by her stupidity. She's in full neocon mode... math as emotion... I am so utterly disgusted by everything about her it's hard to contain myself. I thought only bush could respond in exactly the most wrong, ugly way... I was wrong.

[jupitor]

Clintonis ugly at heart, and ugly in words!

[mj11051]

Billary is desperate and it makes her look like a total fool. Basically she's trying to destroy the party since she's not the front runner. She has had the shock of a her life because she really believed she was going to stomp Obama in the beginning of the race and that didn't happen GEESH