Bible Amusement Park Now Twice As Amusing

Not long ago, a team of entrepreneurs proposed building a Christian theme park outside of Nashville. If you were thinking of investing any money in the scheme, might I propose something less risky, like sub-prime mortgages.

According the web site, Bible Park USA will be "a one-of-a-kind, unlike-anywhere-else-in-the-world 'edutainment' experience offering guests of all ages a visualization experience of well-loved, familiar Bible stories and a taste of life in ancient Biblical times."

It sounds an awful lot like Orlando's Holy Land Experience or Eureka Springs' Great Passion Play, both of which I visited for my book, Rapture Ready!. The real difference is that unlike those and a few other Bible theme parks, which bill themselves as ministries, Bible Park USA is to be a for-profit venture, all the better to focus on delivering spectacular entertainment without the constraints of edification.

This, I believe, is a massive miscalculation of its audience. People who go to Christian theme parks don't want or trust unfettered entertainment in the name of the Bible. They are far more concerned with whether the venue is properly honoring God. (Many Christians, of course, would roll their eyes at the very idea that a Christian theme park could possibly honor God, but they're not the target demographic.) The "walk" of the park's owners (Christianese for their "walk with God" or spiritual condition) is more important than the quality of the park itself. Much pop culture in the Christian bubble is judged by the testimony of its creators rather than any intrinsic value or lack thereof.

And the creators of Bible Park USA are Israeli-American Jews. Now, if non-Christians could get away with this, it would be Israeli-American Jews, who are held in some reverence by American evangelicals, but they'd have to tread extremely carefully. One slip and....

Whoops! Turns out the one of the park's chief financial backers had a previous career as a photographer for Penthouse and Club. Amnon Bar-Tur is the father of Armon Bar-Tur, the park developer and project sponsor. When the Nashville media discovered his father's history, Armon issued a statement saying, "Surely what a young immigrant photographer did 35 years ago to make a living in his first job out of college as a fashion photographer has no relevance to the development of our world-class tourist attraction in Rutherford County in 2008."

If he believes that, he has completely misjudged his audience, and probably never stood a chance in the first place.

Comments

[brobike42]

Bible Amusement Park. Isn't that a redundancy?

[mbaty]

I want to go on the ride where you fall off the flat earth.

[mlaiuppa]

I want to ride on the Holy Roller coaster.

[RGKahn]

Now that would be one hell of a ride. Good line.

[mradamfam]

I live in Rutherford County where they are wanting to build this awful place. The majority of the county is opposed to the Bible Park to be here. The developers are wanting the tax payers to foot part of the bill for building it. They seem kind of shady.

[RGKahn]

That is funny. The very people who want to defund all government help to the poor, the families that can't afford health insurance and other forms of government "hand outs" wants a government "hand out" to get their project off the ground. Yes, that is ironic and funny on so many levels.

[cg3]

God DAMN America!

[soulriter]

Hilarious.

[MACS]

.
Obviously the park will be based on the BUSH impression of science.

ROFLMAO
.

[JScott]

Wasn't there a theme park like this called something like Heritage USA formed by Jim and Tammy Bakker and now it's a ruin after their ministry collapsed.

Seems to I remember a Simpson's episode about this.

[MajorKong]

Ahhhhh!!!!!! The stupid!!!! It burns!!!!!

[charlietuna11]

i would certainly go if for no other reason but to see live dinasauers..i'm certain their are still some roaming america..a herd was recently sighted near liberty university.. i'm told the theme park will also have on display an autographed picture of jesus currently owned by pat robertson..if this doesn't capture your interest, you should know that the whale that jonah resided in will be on display , check this site for exact date.. god bless.

[MACS]

.
The FLINTSTONES was a fundamentalist documentary???

LOL
.

[Mabo]

That wasn't all that funny except for the way you spelled DINOSAUR.

[Torus34]

What this piece implies with regard to the ability of the 'target audience' to think rationally is quite interesting.

[peterg76]

I suppose "Bible Amusement Park" does sound a bit like a variation on pornography.

[joelaf]

When I was growing up ( teen in the 70's) There were several soft core porn mags that shared names with books of the bible. Genesis, Exodus, numbers, etc.

Although, I never saw a "1st Peter"

[Pookie2112]

HHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

[tyruler]

Great post!

The AWFUL PANDERING TO the pro-Israeli crowd must stop, lest we see a nuclear Holocaust unleashed upon Iran and Syrians by the Hillaries and her "special relationship" to the pro-Israeli voters.

[paixa3]

A bible amusement park....WTF? Gezuzz (no dis respect meant)....

[Sciguy]

As long as they don't forget to include the dinosaurs with their human companions, all could be well.

BTW - I always cringe when I hear of Jewish (or Israeli) entrepreneurs doing something with no moral merit but which (they hope) will make them a pile of dough. It reinforces all of those stereotypes I got beat up for when I was a kid. It's even worse if they're pandering to the christian evangelicals, many of whom hope to see Israel become a christian nation and Jews become dead.

On the other hand, a dollar is a dollar, and when taken from the gullible and invested well... (intended as a bad stereotype imitation)

[mbh78213]

How do you feel about Jewish singers recording Christmas albums?

[Sciguy]

Exactly the same! Shameful behaviour!

[UltraClassic]

Hillary '08

I know these type of folks well, grew up with them. They are wide and varried in their attitiudes towards this kind of stuff.

But hey, if Disney can have "gay day" and other parks can have "islam day," what's so different about these people and their day.

I could give a rat's a$$. How about "Libertarian Day" where no body gives a flip what the other guy is doing as long as no physical harm is being done.

Hillary '08

[tyruler]

I never heard of Islam day stupid, its Muslim day...at Six Flags. Just as its Jewish Day at Six Flags at Seder.

The difference the park doesn't change its rides and its theme year around is centered around Biblical Stories.

As a poster once said, as a Clinton supporter, you must in one of her entralled Israeli-pandering, Iran-nuking, low-income, less-educated demogragics.

Easy to fool, and the reason George W. was able to manipulate and fear-induce the election to win in '04.

[SShaw490]

Something tells me they won't depict Jesus overturning the tables of the money changers in the temple.

[True]

What kind of hippie Jesus have you been reading about? Jesus only condemns unbelievers to eternal damnation and supports the neoconservative political agenda.

P.S. He also wants you to be RICH!

[truthsforsaken]

So that you can give him your money.

[Paul]

Was it H.L. Mencken who said "No one ever went bankrupt underestimating the taste of the American public."

[Caddisfly]

Menken is one of my favorites! You can still read his essays and they are pertinent, just change the names of the culprits!

[blooddoc]

I thought it was "the intelligence of the American public", but the point still comes across...

[UltraClassic]

That's one of those timeless quotes, too funny!

[KillTheMessenger]

What are you saying? That God does not like Jewish nude photographers? You seem to forget that

a) The Jewish are HIS chosen people.
b) HE can see everything. In other words... HE can see you in the nude all he wants!

In any case, the one and only reason for Christians not to visit such a venue is the little thing about "Thou shalt not make yourself an idol.", however, I have never heard an American preacher discuss the meaning of this with his audience nor can I imagine that a generation of "Idol" viewers will even understand why this might be an important religious rule.

[LittleBrother]

Yes, God can see us nude all He wants.

But the difference between YOU and Him is that He never looks!

Pretty impressive, considering that He has all the idol time in the world!

[sco8d]

Well the Duggan family, all 20 of them, will be first in line at this joint when it opens.