We Don't Need No Steenking Exit Strategy

Once upon a time, an up and coming Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff named Colin Powell enunciated a list of criteria for using US armed forces anywhere in the world. It was successfully used during the '90's, but was jettisoned in the 21st century by George W. Bush, ironically with Powell as his Secretary of State. It is called the "Powell Doctrine" and it posits seven questions that must be answered with a "yes" before you go into any armed conflict. (source: wikipedia.com)

1. Is a vital national security interest threatened?
2. Do we have a clear attainable objective?
3. Have the risks and costs been fully and frankly analyzed?
4. Have all other non-violent policy means been fully exhausted?
5. Have the consequences of our action been fully considered?
6. Is the action supported by the American people?
7. Do we have genuine broad international support?
8. Is there a plausible exit strategy to avoid endless entanglement?

After Barack Obama built up a huge lead in delegates in a string of 10 straight victories, the Clinton campaign decided to go to war. Like George W. Bush (as in so many other things) Clinton did not ask herself those critical questions. As a result, the interest of the Democratic Party, which was not previously threatened, is now damaged. The objective -- President Hillary Clinton -- was clear but not attainable. The risks and costs were ignored. Non-violence (i.e. non-kitchen sinks) was for elitist wussies. Consequences be damned. Polling be damned. And even the foreign press showed a clear Obama bias.

Finally, their attitude toward any exit strategy can best be characterized as: "We don't need no steenking exit strategy." And listening to her surrogates Wednesday, they still apparently believe that, and so probably haven't worked on one.

I'll save them the trouble. My sole contribution to the Hillary Clinton for President Campaign is how to end it. Metaphorically packaged as a 12-step program, here is Collis' Plausible Exit Strategy to Avoid Endless Hillary Entanglement:

First, you must end offensive combat operations. Cease all attacks on Barack Obama and any of his positions on any of his issues.

Second, you can continue to campaign, but cut all your media buys, open no new offices, hire no new staff and conduct minimal mailings. Limit your campaign entirely to West Virginia. Continue to fundraise like mad.

Third, open negotiations with the Obama campaign.

Fourth, enjoy a nice little victory in West Virginia.

Fifth, retreat the remainder of the campaign to Kentucky, repeat Step Two there.

Sixth, conclude negotiations with the Obama campaign which will include the following terms: space in his campaign for many of your workers, a 50-50 split of the Michigan delegation, Florida seated as is, help with your remaining campaign debt and the Vice-Presidential slot for one of your key supporters in a key state, like Evan Bayh, Ted Strickland or Ed Rendell.

Seventh, enjoy a nice little victory in Kentucky.

Eighth, in your speech in Louisville on the evening of May 20th, declare that you've fought the good fight, but for the good of the Party and of America, you are suspending your campaign in favor of Senator Obama.

Ninth, fly to Puerto Rico on Obama's money and stump there for him in the primary.

Tenth, deliver the best speech of your life as the keynote speaker at the Democratic Convention in Denver.

Eleventh, help Obama to resoundingly defeat McCain in November and end Bushism once and for all.

Twelfth, and finally, return to the Senate and continue a distinguished career there, a la Ted Kennedy,

...and receive the thanks of a grateful nation.

Hillary, you entered this war rashly but can end it with class. Please follow my Collis Addenda to the political Powell Doctrine, and then let's win in November so we can end the real endless entanglement in Iraq.

Comments

[kawika]

Think Inouye VP

[kawika]

Chip keep your powder dry. We need ALL DEMOCRATS in the general elction!

[purplestategal]

Great piece. Many Obama supporters recognize the perceived need to have Clinton exit with pride to woo her supporters by November. But she continues to damage intra-party reconciliation and her own political future by making race-baiting comments like she did in the US News interview on 5/7. As a previous blog stated, there really is good reason to fear Clinton. She is an avatar of the woman warrior but one who doesn't know who the enemy is.

[S1m0n]

"Many Obama supporters recognize the perceived need to have Clinton exit with pride..."

She won't take it.

This one's for her generation to fix. Obama can and will, if no one else does, but that's going to be ugly for the party if he does. Hillary Clinton HAS to be forced out of this race, and forced out of the party if need be. Hillary Clinton will never, ever, surrender the dream, and never ever do the gracious thing. She's into full-on bunny boiling mode now.

[sebocd]

Who's afraid of Virginia Wolf?
Chip Collis' plan rewards Mrs.Clintons political terrorist behavior. Her right to stay in and her right to be wreckless are incompatable. She has set enthusiasm for a woman president back to pre-suffrage level.

Who's afraid of Hillary Clinton?
Everyone, including the Democrat leadership. She's a woman on the verge.

[edpell]

My favorite Clinton moment was in her first run for senate here in New York. She stopped in Kingston, New York. Her staff put a banner over the Maritime Museum sign that read "Holocaust Museum" so she could say she visited the Holocaust Museum of course we do not have one but that did not stop her. This is the honesty and integrity I have come to expect of Hillary Clinton.

[elbowguts]

Hi. Sorry, but I have to ask: Is this anecdote true?

I had thought that Planet H. Clinton was a relatively recent phenomenon. (Unlike Planet B. Clinton, which is something I've been aware of for several decades - depending on what your definition of "is" is.)

[savertime]

An exit strategy is most definetly needed here, but number six reads like you were inebriated when you got to that point. The Clintons can afford to pay their own debts; plus they've forged alliances with enough billionaires who should be willing to help out, even though the Clinton Influence Brand will be seriously diminished. Hillary's trust meter is too low for Obama to want her or Bill or Chelsea out campaigning for him. I wouldn't reward Bayh, Strickland or Rendell for manipulating the voting equipment. Obama's message of change mixed with the Clinton message of status quo?? I think not.

[Gma11]

Maybe their Saudi or Dubai friends could pay off their campaign expenses. Or, if that's illegal, they could just give them a personal gift of the money and Hillary's campaign could file for bankruptcy. I really don't even know what is legally possible. But, with their own personal wealth, I think it is completely unethical to expect ordinary citizens to pay it off for them.

[Teritt]

I just want to watch her 'lead' all of her supporters to vote for Obama in the General Election. Because if she can't get her most loyal supporters to listen to her and do what she asks, how the heck would she have ever gotten Republicans to pass through her agenda?

[koromuso]

Why would Obama choose as Veep someone who's been involved in character assassination against him?

[dshwa]

Politics, my good person, politics. Or, if you prefer "Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer."

[elbowguts]

Unless your enemies are incapable of sheathing their weapons.

I have no idea if Bill Clinton has a common practice of sheathing his sword, but Hillary has claws and teeth, so probably best to be on the safe side and give Hillary an ambassadorship to Chad. Second thought, perhaps one of the Greek isles might be more appropriate.

[KillTheMessenger]

I don't think that most, if not any of these suggestions will make any sense once it has sunk in that Senator Clinton has declared "total war" (in the very sense of Goebbels) on this primary by explicitely targeting white voters. Scholars of history will remember that the total destruction of Germany was the ultimate endpoint of that kind of action.

Even a saintlike appearance of Senator Obama will not mend the racial issue break with his base. People did not vote for Obama to have anyone supporting Senator Clinton end up in the VP chair. Sorry. No can do.

[McMullen]

The problem is, I don't think Hillary knows when to quit. Stubborn determination has served her well in the past, but in this case, it's going to be her downfall.

It's practically a Greek tragedy: "Hillary Rex"

[horizonr]

OK, except the VP idea is a COMPLETE non-starter.

Obama must not have his hands tied in ANY way, on his VP choice.

[McFlipFlop]

My thoughts exactly.

[faberocity]

Excellent post. My only addition to this pipedream would be that Obama and Clinton both appear together on stage on May 20, where Hillary can literally pass the nomination on to Obama. Unlikely, but would be a huge gesture...

[KillTheMessenger]

Senator Obama does not need a Clinton coronation. He is better than that.