Math Favors Hillary, Says Huckabee

"Don't stop believing."

That's the message from former Arkansas governor and Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee to Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY) one day after her disappointing showings in the North Carolina and Indiana primaries.

Even though her rival, Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill), is now less than two hundred delegates from clinching the nomination, "the math favors Hillary now more than ever," Gov. Huckabee said.

"I didn't major in math, I majored in miracles," he told reporters in Little Rock today. "And after Tuesday's results, my Miracle-o-meter is tingling off the hook."

He said that even if Sen. Obama gets a majority of the delegates, "the smart money is still on Hillary."

"The only difference between majority and minority is spelling," he said. "And I didn't major in spelling."

But even as Gov. Huckabee reminded reporters of what his major was, one of his university professors, Darren Galtheim, said that the former Arkansas governor's field of concentration in college had been overstated.

"Mike majored in miracles, but he didn't get A's," Dr. Galtheim said. "We all encouraged him to switch to an easier major, like Phys Ed."

Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, BorowitzReport.com. He is the host of "Countdown to '08" at the 92nd Street Y on Tuesday, May 13 at 8 PM with his special guests Calvin Trillin (The New Yorker), Susie Essman (HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm) and Jonathan Alter (Newsweek, MSNBC). For tickets, go to 92y.org.

Comments

[EvgenyLibek]

My VicePrezometer is tingling... for Huckabee and Clinton both.

[markusmarkus]

Huckster sez: "And after Tuesday's results, my Miracle-o-meter is tingling off the hook."

I wonder what his wife put in his grits.

[elbzee]

ROFLMAO!!! Thanks Andy!

[NCRESIDENT]

Well I am happy he isn't our president or a presidential candidate. That's not a good statement for him to keep saying if he trying to get VP or run for president next year. A miracle isn't going to solve world problems. He's making a fool out of himself.

[tracylouise]

Obamantons got pwnd!

LOL!!

[erykah]

Andy is too funny, but what is funnier is that there are people reading this who think it is a real news story. Good grief.

[Wanjiru]

...ouch!...

...lol...

.

[OtayPanky]

But even as Gov. Huckabee reminded reporters of what his major was, one of his university professors, Darren Galtheim, said that the former Arkansas governor's field of concentration in college had been overstated.

"Mike majored in miracles, but he didn't get A's," Dr. Galtheim said. "We all encouraged him to switch to an easier major, like Phys Ed."

===

Dr. Galthheim was my professor, too. A brilliant man, if a bit eccentric.

[4wehttam]

People, please remember that Borowitz is a comedian. His articles are not fact, they are just for entertainment purposes.........................so let's just relax and take a breather.

Andy, I have a request: Can you please put your comedian profile at the beginning of your articles so some people don't go over the handle? Or at least make it in bigger print at the bottom, thanks.

You probably won't since this is your intention, so I won't take offense if you don't take my advice. I love almost all your "art."

[Doofus]

'just for entertainment purposes...'

REALLY?

Problem is, this time he cut a little too close to something like 'truthiness'.

[andyboy]

The funniest responses are the ones thast feel they have to point out the "art" thus proving themselves much more discerning than the regular bloggers. Outre'.

[fuzzwald]

Miracles my @ss. Hickleberry is crazier than a rat in a barrel.

[paganmist]

...hahahahahahaha, that's hilarious

[marc1antony]

he majored in miracles, and he pulled out - now he thinks hellary has a chance in hell? LOL!!!

[kdogg]

I read these comments and i wonder if half these people have heard of satire. this did not really happen. this gentleman is using satire to make a point. work on reading comprehension.

[dulcis]

well, i didn't major in satire, but where i come from words have meaning, so i think that people have every right to fly off the handle here, i mean, i can read it and comprehend it word for word, and the man has a point about majority and minority being spelled differently, and i challenge anyone to say they are spelled the same!!! and if Huckabee didn't say that i am sure he wishes he did!!

[Rasteira]

Oooooooooooooooooh BURN

[BJTabor]

It's good to see a Republican that concerned with what's best for the Democratic party.

[apoyo]

Fizz Ed

[oldvet]

If Huck majored in miracles, why in the hell, excuse me, heck, isn't he the Republican nominee, instead of Granpa McSenile?

[MTGradwell]

Huckabee asked for a miracle, and God delivered. Don't you think it's a miracle that *anybody at all* voted for granpa McSenile?

[burnt]

another Republican for Clinton... I'm sure he doesn't want the bleeding to stop... none of them want this show to end.

[NCRESIDENT]

Right now he's praying for a miracle so that John McCain could win. If Obama runs against John McCain it would look like grandpa versus fresh blood. He will be having thunderous crowds, rallies, and quicker answers to questions while McCain would take all day to make a point.
I watched one of his town hall meetings and I almost fell asleep until he said my friend and I thought he was talking to me. lol

[sco8d]

This guy is a COMEDIAN, why do you all always believe everthing is true if it is print? Burnt, you just got burnt by Borowitz.