TV SoundOff: Sunday Talking Heads
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About Jason Linkins
Jason Linkins is a Political Reporter at the Huffington Post, covering media and politics. He's based in Washington, DC. Previously, he wrote for HuffPo's Eat The Press, and has also contributed to DCist and Wonkette.
Good morning and welcome to your Sunday morning liveblog. I'm guessing there came a moment this week where you thought that this would be the first of these liveblogs to occur in the post-Democratic primary world. Then you probably came to realize that despite the efforts of the media this past Tuesday night, the Democratic primary battle was going to continue. Then you probably looked back and thought, "Tuesday...that seems like a year ago." And then you thought, "The Sunday liveblog...that seems like such a long way off." And then you thought, "Wait. I just had like, this whole internal monologue based upon worrying about a liveblog? How'd that happen?" And so, you came to remember: you have a life. And so maybe you met friends for beers or something. Things felt much better after that.
Anyway, it's Sunday now, and here I am, watching these mothers so you can spend time with yours. As usual, register your grievances and complaints via email or be leaving a comment. We begin, as we too often do, with the psychic torture that is...
Fox News Sunday w/ Chris Wallace
You know, the title of this show really includes the "w/"? It's not just me abbreviating. Fox really doesn't have the decency to pony up a whole "with" for Chris Wallace. Lack of respect, right there.
"The Democrats have a nominee, almost." So we'll have David Axelrod and Howard Wolfson, for auld lang syne, where "auld lang syne" means searing pain in the center of your brain. But! They won't be battling each other! Significant!
This is also Axelrod's first Fox News Sunday appearance. He looks especially dimpley and eyebrowy this morning as he explains how the Superdelegates are prepared to be "unfurled" like walking flag lapel pins. He says that Clinton cares about the Democratic party and does not want to impair the party's chances in November, and by the way, the Obama campaign is already ramping up GOTV efforts.
Wallace plays Clinton's "up with white people" comments, but Axelrod doesn't rise to the bait, no matter how wriggly. "The thesis was wrong, but the words weren't well chosen." Wallace is like: OOOOHH TELL US ABOUT THE HATEFUL WORDS! Axelrod says that many people from many races work hard.
Fox then runs a banner under this that says "Exclusive." Yeeeesh. You think getting fifteen minutes with David Axelrod is an exclusive? It should read, "THE SAME SORT OF CRAP EVERYONE MANAGES TO GET."
Will Obama help pay off her crazy, mounting debt? Axelrod walks that back. "I think Clinton can retire her debt." No deals have been made. Some Obama supporters seem to be angry about the whole idea - if it wins you the race, though, isn't it money well-spent? But I can understand not wanting to be the person to pay Mark Penn. That's why we're going to start the movement right here: NO MONEY FOR DUMB MARK PENN. No one should have to pay a guy who didn't realize these primaries weren't winner-take-all. OKAY, Mark? NO MONEY FOR YOUR DUMBNESS!
McCain is mad at Obama for saying "losing his bearings" and how it points up that McCain is a crazy old man who is amazed how fast the Pony Express has gotten. Axelrod says, no, "losing his bearings" simply means he's crazy out of touch with a world where people no longer use abacuses.
"The people deserve a serious discourse," Axelrod says. So Obama is going to battle Old Man Simpson in a series of unscripted forums. Wallace invites Axelrod to a debate on Fox, and Axelrod jokes about how he's surprised the invitation took that long to be extended, seeing as how crazy desperate for attention the Fox network is.
Next up is mild irritant Howard Wolfson, and congratulations to West Virginia, because:
YOU ARE A KEY STATE!
That's right, West Virginia! You have been elevated to "KEY STATE" status by the Clinton campaign! You join a select pantheon of states that have not angered the volcanic wrath of the candidate and her many unpleasant supporters. You join California and New York and Ohio and Massachusetts and Almost Texas and Arkansas as the Important States of the Union. States that are brave enough to be caucasian enough, and panderable enough, and un-caucusable enough to really, really matter. Benefits include the chance to clean up the Clinton campaigns confetti and not have the dyspeptic Lanny Davis yell at you!
I envy you, West Virginia! Here in Virginia, we thought we were moving into a place where we might be thought of as a key state, with one Democratic Senator in place, another seemingly on the way, an emerging leader in Tim Kaine and increasingly solid "blue" ground statewide. Lots of people saw Virginia as a state that the Dems might flip come election day, but then we did something a few months ago that the Clinton campaign didn't like and suddenly we were no longer important anymore. So run with this honor, West Virginia! Take it for yourself and never look back! You are Golden Gods who smartly backed the Union Army! Keep chopping your mountains to shreds and sending Zombie Klansman Robert Byrd to Capitol Hill! Be the dream of a key state, West Virginia. Esperance!
Wolfson then says a bunch of other things that are a part of some sort of electoral fantasia. I'd record it for posterity, but chances are he'll be back next week repeating it, only he'll be even more unhinged and bloodshot, so let's just wait until then, shall we!
Panel time! Wallace lies to America, calls Axelrod and Wolfson "fascinating." Hume says that Clinton wants lightning to strike. Liasson, resplendent in purple, says it's okay for Clinton to stay in the race till May 20. She also says that Clinton being $15 million dollars in debt is the "least of her worries." Really? Most of us non-elites wouldn't find it that way. Bill Kristol says that she will bounce on June 4. Juan Williams seems to imply that there are a bunch of superdelegates that want to hide their preference for Clinton, just a little longer, because that's good strategy.
Dream ticket? Hume says, that if Obama chooses her, it will be "reaching to the past" and the past is cold and dead and best left forgotten! Liasson agrees, and says that the Dems aren't so disunified that they need her help. Kristol says that unless they can continually hit Bill Clinton with tranquilizer darts and cattle prods, the Obama-Clinton ticket is a non-starter. Williams says, in essence, Don't forget the deviousness! But, on the other hand, "Clinton is a known quantity." So lots of reasons why so, lots of reasons why not. But I'll add: they both HATE each other!
Bill Kristol says the DICK GEPHARDT is going to be the VP pick! OMG. And the New York Times hired this guy!
Hume defends Obama, saying that "losing his bearings" was "absolutely not" about age, and that even so, that's a legitimate issue to bring up. Color me surprised! I love that Mother's Day, ad of McCain's by the way, because I sort of think that his mom could step into a boxing ring and drop me in thirty seconds, and also because it asserts that the McCain's live longer and crazier than anyone, which means John and his daughter Meghan will use his insatiable anger and her awesomely eclectic iTunes playlists to defeat the Mole People From the Earth's Core in the year 2034 and usher in 1,000 years of paradise on Earth.
Hume is smart to point out that the whole debate all the time idea is a bad idea, because the candidates will be spending all their time in debate prep. But this is a real disadvantage for McCain. One of the reasons the Obama camp is so bullish on the idea is because their super-newfangled GOTV effort promises to harness supporters to do much of the work of the candidate.
This Week With George Stephanopoulos
GS has got the titan of human emotion that is Harry Reid leading off today. Does he think that Clinton's chances are over? Reid says we "need to play this out" and "relax a little bit." So true! Reid himself, really needs to calm down. He says that Clinton channeling George Wallace is something that should be "passed by very quickly."
"We should just relax," Reid shouts, voice approaching twenty-five decibels. "These are great candidates!"
GS reminisces about the Swift Boat attacks. "Isn't Obama vulnerable to the same attacks?" I think that Obama starts telling people he used to pilot swift boats, then yes. Reid says that it was a just part of why Kerry lost. More importantly: "The Kerry campaign did not campaign in rural America." Reid says that Kerry won in the cities (and I have a framed copy of the cover of the Stranger attesting to that, but that if Kerry had run in rural America, it would have made the difference. Good stuff, Harry.
What about those days where McCain flirted with joining the Dems? Reid says that McCain is a different, and disappointing, person today than he was back then, and it was his embrace of Bush that's made the difference there. Reid mentions that he's approached other Republicans to switch over the years and of the four he's tried to pry away, he got Jim Jeffords. "Twenty-five percent isn't a bad batting average, even in today's big leagues." Except that it is!
Oy. Carly Fiorina, the Rod Parsley of the corporate world, reps McCain on this morning's show. My wife, half-asleep, walks into the room on the way to feed the cats, passes by the teevee and just mutters to Fiorina, "You're an idiot." Then those same cats come running through and knock my coffee onto the floor. So, I hope you guys can figure out what Fiorina said that made my wife say, "You're an idiot," because I've been cleaning up spilt coffee and vainly trying to chastise my cats.
We're back, and the camera on Fiorina is shaking epileptically. Is Steven Soderbergh shooting this show now? Is this This Week's subtle reminder that McCain is "losing his bearings?" And now, I'm vomiting from motion sickness.
Fiorina basically sounds like Your Commencement Address From Business School circle 1986: "We are now competing globally for jobs!"
"I can tell you right now, John McCain is not yet focused on the convention, not yet focused on the platform," says Fiorina.
Why isn't Cindy McCain disclosing her monies? "I think American's are more concerned about their own tax returns than they are about hers!" Uhm...no Carly! We took care of "our own tax returns" two weeks ago. We actually all have a sufficient portion of the day where we quite literally concern ourselves with Cindy McCain's tax returns! I'm scheduled to worry about it from 8:00pm to 8:15pm on Tuesday. (Though, if anyone out there can switch shifts with me, please let me know!) I'm willing to do it after midnight, even!
Panel time! What's the end game, punditheads? George Will says she's going to take the opportunity to go out on a high by winning West Virginia, Cokie Roberts, who's apparently chosen a costume piece from some Wild West Musical to wear today, says Clinton is taking up for the women who've supported her. Sam Donaldson then starts shouting about Guam.
Sam Donaldson disagrees that there's been a ton of sexism and disrespect. Will says that if the numbers were reversed, people would be yelling for Obama to drop out of the race. Cokie Roberts says that's crazy! But she's crazy. Of course people would be calling for Obama to drop out of the race! Two weeks ago, the press was essentially calling for him to drop out, and HE WAS AHEAD! Then George Will says, "Let me use a baseball analogy..." and my brain explodes with frustration. Cokie Roberts says that she never reads the blogosphere, preferring painful, hoary baseball analogies.
Sam Donaldson has been the biggest proponent of the Clinton-as-VP scenario I've seen yet. Ruth Marcus points out that there are negatives involved with her being on the ticket, especially in the area of Obama's "change" message. GS says, "Yeah. That's the biggest argument against it." NO IT'S NOT. The biggest argument against it is that the two of them REALLY CANNOT STAND AND ARE EXTREMELY HOSTILE TO EACH OTHER!
Now we're getting a great shot of the back of George Will's head. WHO IS SHOOTING THIS SHOW? Will recommends a VP like Sam Nunn or the Jim Jones who wasn't a cult leader in Guyana. (Though, that Jim Jones sure would be sending a "change" message!) Sam Donaldson thinks Evan Bayh. Ruth Marcus, prompted by GS, touts Jim Webb and Wes Clark. She also drops a "Snakes On A Plane" reference.
George Will's eyeglasses are totally glinty this morning! Seriously blingy!
Donaldson changes the focus to McCain's Veep. "What's wrong with Mitt Romney?" Sam Donaldson asks. Oy! Even Will admits, "Mitt Romney is not a man of character." Ruth Marcus recommends Portman for McCain...which I'd like to see, only because it would be neat to see what this Portman guy looks like. Donaldson wildly changes the subject back to Judas Bill Richardson.
Will says "John McCain's most interesting temptation" will be to compete in California, and not, as many suggest, Vicki Iseman.
The Chris Matthews Show
Before we get into Mr. Tingle's latest show, I'll point out that Friend of the Liveblog Chris Blakely has delivered some essential David Axelrod shorthand today: "Every time I see David Axelrod on TV, I can't help think of Magnum PI and Higgins (John Hillerman)." I read that, and it was like a "Eureka!" moment.
Anyway, Chris Matthews embraced Obama's change by raiding Lou Dobbs hair-dye supply and reaching for something in a "dusky pecan," but because this show was filmed early in the week, it is a chance to remember his blonde fortitude. Let's all sing..."I willllll remember youuuuu...will you remember meeeee." He's joined this week by the fierce Katty Kay, the ferosh Ron Allen, the hot mess Michelle Cottle, and the tranny John Heilemann.
Can Hillary deliver her supporters to Obama? Heilemann says they aren't hers to bequeath and that Obama's not gone around beating her up, so he has an easy angle of appeal. Ron Allen points out that Obama did better with white voters in IN/NC than he did in PA, and declares Obama to be "multifaceted" in that he has a "white" facet and a "black" facet. "He's not just a black African-American candidate," Allen says. That's right! He's like Charlize Theron or something!
Matthews says he's "startled" to hear the phrase "white people." He doesn't see color, or colorful people.
Cottle makes sense. "There will be a small core in each camp that won't make the jump," she says, but McCain is the big equalizer. I hardly think that stuff is going to matter once Hillary's diehard supporters recognize that McCain means a 7-2 anti-Roe Supreme Court.
Dream ticket? Allen says no. Matthews says, "She doesn't have the soul of a vice-president." Five words into that sentence, I was worried that Matthews was going to end up at the business end of a massive protest again! Cottle says that Obama-Clinton magnifies all of the negatives of both without emphasizes any of the positives.
Katty Kay wants something in a "military Southern male." Then they spend the next few minutes trying to read what was going on in Bill Clinton's face on Tuesday night.
What does it say about the Chris Matthews show that it's biggest sponsor appears to be Flomax? Other than it reminds me everytime I watch it that I would probably enjoy spending the half-hour urinating more?
So, what will Hillary Clinton do next? Betcha it's a more important job than whatever President Bush does next!
Governor of New York? Heilemann says that the chances of that happening are "between 2.3 percent and 3.1 percent," which is a little crazy exacting, isn't it? I mean, John...no one's going to think less of you if you say, "Less than five percent." This reminds me of this crazy restaurant in Charlottesville where when you walked in and put your name on the list for a seat, the hostess would say, "That will be eighteen minutes." Eighteen? HOW DO THEY KNOW? And they were ALWAYS RIGHT. So I stopped going there. One needs some degree of uncertainty in their life!
"What about becoming a great Senator?" Matthews asks. Because she's a lousy Senator? Kay thinks that she'll want to progress in some way, maybe become Senate majority leader. Allen wonders if a President Obama would try to block that from happening. Heilemann says that Clinton is sure that Obama will lose and that she will run again in 2012.
She's going to be awfully pissed off, then, if the ancient Mayans were right and the world ends in December of 2012. Not me! That's my exit strategy from the massive amount of crippling debt I plan to run up if McCain wins the presidency!
Tell Chris something he doesn't know! Katty Kay says John McCain is going to keep doing "theme" tours of America, including one on climate change, and maybe one on how clowns, ironically, scare more children than they delight. Allen says that Obama will not be speaking in Oregon the night of the OR/KY primary, but in a swing state like Michigan or Florida. Cottle is "fascinated by the weird sexism bubbling up" and says that Clinton and Pelosi hate each other because they are in a girl-fight. The truth is, Pelosi knows Clinton's dark secret, and in the season finale of "Democratic Primary," Clinton will confide in Michelle Obama and it will CHANGE EVERYTHING and also someone is secretly gay OMFG! Heilemann says that Kwame Kilpatrick has polarized the Michigan electorate and has poisoned the well for any black candidate, including Captain Biracial Hope McChange.
Now we get to the question that Matthews has been twiddling his aureolae all day to ask, "What was Clinton's biggest mistake?" which he asks like, "What wa-ha-ha-s Cli-hee-hee-nton's biggest mistay-ha-ha-hake?" BECAUSE HE HATES HIM SOME CLINTONS!
Kay says "Running the general before she ran the primary." Allen says it was running an old-style campaign instead of a new one. Cottle says: experience no change yes. Heilemann says the same thing, and also "she ran a micro- campaign in a macro year" which translated means: MARK PENN IS DUMB DON'T PAY HIM, HILLARY!
SIDE NOTES: One commenter says she is reading this whilst "prepping for a tornado." Uhm...I am going to have to recommend that your tornado prep take precedence over reading this! Have you seen that movie, TWISTER? These tornadoes are quite deadly dangerous! They toss cows around and stuff. (Also dangerous, according to TWISTER: EVIL STORMCHASERS who drive SUVs.)
ALSO: For those of you who are just joining us and are unused to this liveblog being a setting for the most intemperate remarks I can come up with, we'll point out that in addition to being a former Klansman and the current powerful undead Lord of the Zombie Clogdancing Society, Senator Robert Byrd has other passions. They include, ending the Iraq War, giving speeches about Michael Vick and the wrongness of dogfighting, and helping powerful mining interests transform the beautiful mountain ranges of West Virginia into a toxic slurry he calls "Coal Juice," which has made him immortal.
By the way, commenter Dragon5616 has agreed to switch Worrying About Cindy McCain's Tax Return shifts with me. Thanks very much!
And now, we move on the Meet The Press, which I have TiVoed, and of which I am already receiving dire warnings about.
Meet The Press
I am officially soliciting suggestions for "How To Develop MEET THE PRESS Coping Skills," so if you have any tried and true techniques on getting through an episode of MEET THE PRESS, please email them to me.
Here's one that keeps me sane: everytime the camera leaves Russert, I imagine that he immeidately and compulsively starts wolfing down Toblerones from a bowl he surreptitiously keeps under his desk. They cut his mike to keep people from hearing the slavering sounds of his greedy, Toblerone-craving maw, and a make-up technician stands at the ready the wipe down his jowls before the camera alights on his visage again. In my imaginings, NBC has gotten quite good at covering all of this up, but one day, they shall slip and Russert's Toblerone-lust shall be revealed! This pretense, naturally, makes every single episode of MEET THE PRESS crazy-exciting!
Today, Chris Dodd and Terry McAuliffe battle each other. And what is this stock footage they have of McAuliffe? It's like from fifty years ago!
Chris Dodd wished Russert a happy Mothers' Day, and Russert says nothing! What's up with that, Tim?
Dodd says "it's very clear" that Obama is going to be the nominee. But I have feeling that Russert's got a whole bunch of dumb and dumber questions to ask about it!
Russert wants to point out, though, that Clinton thinks she's got a better coalition, and the McCainiacs agree. So Obama's going to lose, right? Dodd disses McCain by pointing out that Republican voters continue to go out of their way to vote for alternative candidates like Huckabee and Paul, even giving votes to inanimate objects like mailboxes, Mitt Romney, and their favorite rocks - anything to avoid giving a vote to John McCain. Also: It's not 1968! Dodd is very confident that the Dems are going to reunite!
Dodd says that it's fine to continue campaigning, and gives the insight of a former candidate, noting that when you are out there running, the enormity and the rapidity of the task is such that it's hard to switch footing "in the course of forty-eight hours" and stop running. Dodd says, "it's way too much to ask" Clinton to do. I don't know if that's true or not. I've never run for President because the Constitution keeps telling me that I'm "not old enough" and that I am "way too high all the damn time." But even if it's not true, it's a very gentlemanly way of according Clinton the space and the right to keep campaigning.
Dodd's the sort that when you hear him talking the Dems-will-heal-themselves game, you believe him, because he walks the game, too. This is the sort of guy that'll be knitting up that ravelled sleeve of care. Clinton "loves this party and she loves this country," Dodd says, and he's very confident that she'll be supporting the Obama campaign.
But what about his previous concerns about Obama's experience? Poof! Gone, apparently! Dream ticket? Dodd says no.
And now, Terry Mac, and--DEAR GOD! Chris Matthews isn't the only one to reach for some bad hair dye this week! It looks okay from the mid-range shot but close-up it looks like McAuliffe's joined the Hair Club for Men at a very early stage of the Hair Club's development. Yiiiiccck!
Russert points out that Rahm Emanuel says that Obama is the presumptive nominee. T-Mac says no! There's no nominee. Gotta hit the magic number and that number is 2,209. Because he's a FIGHTER for Florida and Michigan! Forget ALL ABOUT the section of his book where he tells Carl Levin off with a douchey swagger that Michigan wasn't getting seated if they moved their primary and that Big Man McAuliffe was gonna see to that. Obama's decision to keep his name off the MI ballot was not following the rules, it was, according to McAuliffe a "political decision." Obama gets zero delegates fro MI, then, and this disenfranhcises no one.
McAuliffe also seems to think that no superdelegates have announced for Obama this week.
OH SWEET LORD. McAuliffe can't resist pandering: "Did you count the Buffalo Bills out" when they came back to beat the Oilers in the playoffs in 1992? Know what? I bet he DID count them out! But the Oilers, strangely, decided to protect their huge lead by coming out in the second half and throwing a ton of incomplete passes which preserved the clock and gave Buffalo the time it needed to mount a frenzied comeback! Had the Oilers did the sensible thing and run the ball, they would have won. So yes, Terry, I agree: if Obama does something REALLY DUMB, like...run naked down the center of Constitution Avenue covered in maple-syrup and birdshit, screaming "WE MARCH ON LUXEMBOURG AT FIRST LIGHT!" and throwing pistachios at the dumbfounded crowds of people standing on the sidewalk, then yeah, Clinton's got a puncher's chance at this thing.
Anyway, Buffalo went on to lose the Super Bowl because the Cigarette Smoking Man from The X-Files hates the Bills and won't let them win. Everyone knows that!
The rest of McAuliffe's argument seems to center around convincing superdelegates that Kentucky is an important swing state, and that it will rain delicious guacamole from the skies for six days if they vote for Clinton.
Hillary Clinton has "16.6 million very passionate supporters," McAuliffe says, implying as always, that they are the "Good" and "Important" Americans.
"Nothing's impossible!" he says. Prove to me you can fly, then, Terry!
Russert makes McAuliffe answer for Clinton's "hard-working whites" remarks. McAuliffe says that everyone who has characterized her remarks as divisive are wrong, but changes the subject to "playing out the process." And besides, the AP are the real racists! She was just quoting their stories! It's Chinese whispers!
"Many superdelegates are listening to this discussion," Russert says. I feel really bad for those superdelegates!
It's hilarious to see McAuliffe go down a laundry list of key issues, because it only reminds me of the fact that all McAuliffe is, is a happy face to be put next to a candidate. I can't remember the last time he had an interesting policy idea. Come to think of it, I'm not sure he's ever had an interesting policy idea.
"I will give a shout out to George Bush," McAuliffe says, and my blood runs cold before I hear him say, "Because he's probably been the greatest unifying force in the history of the Democratic Party." Phew! Was worried there for a second. That happens when a key Democratic party figure CUTS COMMERCIALS FOR FOX NEWS.
OMFG.
MCAULIFFE: "A lot of people have said that. Big Russ, if he were sitting here today -- nothing's impossible. Jack McAuliffe, if they were with us today, they're probably both in heaven right now Tim, probably having a scotch."
Terry McAuliffe just killed Tim Russert's dad!
Russert offers up a very thorough calling-out of McAuliffe on the Florida-Michigan matter, including the passage from his book I mentioned earlier. T-Mac contends - and this could be true, it's the first time I've ever heard this particular excuse - that "the rule" - the implied, accepted, method of dealing with the situation - is to take away half the delegates, and that Dean is erring by nullifying the entire delegation. CUE A CHECK UP ON DNC RULES!
"You can't deny" that millions of people showed up in FL and MI. You can only deny that Obama would have gotten votes in MI if his name was on the ballot.
T-Mac answers the money question with an entirely different tone of voice and resolutely staring downward, and you hardly need to be a Scotland Yard investigator to deduce that he is mostly putting a shine on a bad situation.
T-Mac says until someone hits the magic number, "anyone can fight" for the nomination. Then he says to Russert: "You know. You come from a fight in Buffalo! Your father was a fighter! I read your book!" SWEET SASSY MOLASSEY. His dad is such a fighter, that in the course of a single MEET THE PRESS segment, he's died, gone to heaven to have a Scotch with Terry's dad, and then fought his way back to life in Buffalo.
"Anything can happen! In the...uhm...next three to four weeks."
Look, Terry, let's stick to what we can agree on: NO MONEY FOR MARK PENN!
Panel Time. Everyone agrees that Obama is going to be the nominee. John Harwood offers the funny possibility that if (and I'm paraphrasing) Tony Rezko had a secret poker game where Obama wrote Jerry Wright's sermons and made bombs for Bill Ayers, maybe that would change. Gerald Seib leaves the door open because it's "politics" and "anything can happen."
Cilizza and Norris team up to make the point that the Clinton's have made their bacon historically sticking with plans long after they've been counted out, and that even if it doesn't pay off this time, it elevates Hillary to whatever her next step is.
Harwood notes that Mark Penn is still owed money, but he's not going to get it, because all Americans are coming together today to join the Clinton campaign with one voice and say, "NO, MARK PENN. NO MONEY FOR YOU."
While I'm dreaming of Mark Penn receiving precisely the amount of money he deserves for his work on the Clinton campaign, which totals to NONE DOLLARS in case you haven't figured it out by now, the panel takes up the "Dream Ticket" conversation because the Oracle at Delphi mandated that ALL PANELS speak of The Ticket Of Dreams lest Poseidon raise the Great Kraken Beast from Beneath The Sea and Swallow the World of Man. (The "Great Kraken Beast," by the way, is actually Ross Perot. But I have a feeling that most of you knew that!)
Michelle Norris gets my prize of the day for being willing to simply say that the Dream Ticket isn't going to happen because Clinton and Obama hate one another, and that if you put them on the same ticket, this antipathy might be revealed on a constant basis. Cillizza does a really good job at mentioning the fact that Obama equals change and Clinton doesn't fit and pretending that he is the first pundit to have ever noticed this.
Norris goes on to assert that the walk-away rate from African-Americans may be of greater concern than that of Clinton's constituencies.
Cillizza thinks that the racial wolf-whistling that Clinton is doing to woo superdelegates might have the opposite effect - that SDs might move to Obama to put the kibosh on that sort of politics.
Harwood and Seib point out that Clinton was up against some tidal forces this year. The rise of Obama as a plausible candidate, a desire for change in the electorate, and, I would add, the terrible tactics laid out by Mark Penn, who America agrees should NOT BE PAID ANY MONEY.
The panel gets into the general election, and how Hamas endorsed Obama, which is ALL OBAMA'S fault. So McCain hit back with the "losing his bearings" comment. Then Mark Salter and Bill Burton got into a fight, and actually, it was kind of sweet.
It's like, the regular season is beginning! I remember watching MSNBC this week, and they were doing their typical left-vs-right split screen. Now, for a long time, as this primary battle has been waged, these back and forths have been quite genial. Typically, the GOP operative is smug because he/she knows that he/she won't have to spend any time discussing or defending any of McCain's numerous flaws. And the Democratic operative is similarly sunny because he/she has to go out there and continually make the argument, "Well, OF COURSE, all the constant bickering between the two candidates and the continual reminder that the Democratic primary process is governed by unbelievably Bynatine rules that have even escaped the attention of our best strategist, Mark Penn - who should NOT, by the way, BE PAID ANY MONEY - is nothing but GOOD NEWS for our party! Ahh, ha ha. Ha ha-ha. Ha ha. Uhm...ha."
But on Wednesday afternoon, finally, a left-v-right split finally resulted in a good, old-fashioned, yell loudly and interrupt each other televised melee. The regular season is coming!
Tim Russert gives a lengthy exegesis on how Barack Obama and John McCain will have different ideas. "Obama will say national health care, McCain will say no. Obama will say withdraw from Iraq, McCain will say stay. Obama will say that PUSHING DAISIES was the bext new show of the fall season, McCain will say that he's more of a SAMANTHA WHO guy."
"This is about to become a real policy debate," Seib says, seemingly unaware that this whole Hamas endorsement thing is not a debate over policy.
Harwood wonders who the press will choose as their boyfriend, because they've been so historically in love with both of them, but can only pick one, unless the press adopts the policies of the FLDS Church, and man, I don't think anybody wants to see Obama and McCain wearing THAT dress and THAT hairstyle. (I may have said this before, but I hope the next season of PROJECT RUNWAY does an FLDS Makeover show, because those ladies are some hot messes.)
And, because this is Mother's day, that seems like a perversely fitting way to end this week's liveblog. In two days, we have the primary in the Super Double-Plus Key State of West Virginia. I would anticipate not having to wait all night for results for that one. We'll see you next week. Remember, CALL YR MOMS. And, while you're at it, call you dad, too, because you never know how or when or why Terry McAuliffe might go on national teevee and tell the world that he's dead. Happy Mothers day, and NO MONEYS FOR MARK PENN!
May 11, 2008 08:50 AM