I'm a racist, or so I've been told about 3,000 times in the last week. Truly, on my radio show, in the emails from listeners, mainly African American listeners, I'm a racist.
Why?
Because I said "get over slavery," because I said "get over the holocaust," because I said "get over Reagan letting a generation die..." Now why would I say such things?
When Barack Obama's pastor hit the news with racially inflammatory statements all hell broke lose because America got reminded that Obama is, in fact, Black. They also got reminded that a majority of America at the moment, White America, has a history of oppression and barberry (in fairness, most dominate races do or did).
Well, that didn't sit well. And as always, everyone began talking about the person talking about race instead of really talking about race. Well, not me. I went on air and maintain to this day that much of what the preacher says was true. I can't argue with much of his assertions. Sadly, at one time, they were facts, and sadly, even today, everything must be done to make sure nothing likes this happen again to anyone anywhere. Haven't succeed there yet.
But then came the "so what?" So what if everything he says is true? And now what? Or, in the modern vernacular..."And your point?"
Slavery happened. The Holocaust happened. Sexism happens. In the 1980s Reagan watched a generation of gay men die and did nothing. Gays and lesbians have been and are still beaten and killed for just existing, and now it appears to be the gay youth that are suffering most from this violence. Yes, man's inhumanity to man never astounds me.
And?
Well, what's happened in the United States is since every race, every sexual orientation, every one that is different has some tale of oppression, murder, death, oppression and many members of these cultures carry all of that with them still. Well, that would piss anyone off. And it does. And that's why there's the problems.
I watched a documentary about an Israeli woman that wanted to meet the mother of the young girl that blew both her daughter, Rachel Levy, and herself in a market in Jerusalem. After years, they spoke, and while they both lamented their losses and said they should unite to find a better way to peace between Palestinians and Israelis, within four minutes it went to the entire argument of you stole our lands, get out, etc. So, no progress made, no peace, because the sins of the past are just too great, the sins of the present still too horrible.
Every wrong done to every African American under slavery was wrong. All the atrocities done to anyone because of race, gender, sexual orientation, especially in the name of ethnic superiority, are horrendous. And that's just it. All of these things throughout history are so terribly, so wrong, they can NEVER be made right, at all. No about of reparations, no amount of money, no apology, nothing will ever, ever make them right. They are tears in the cosmic fabric, just like the massive whole in that fabric over the 9/11 site -- too horrible to ever heal all the way.
Seven years ago my partner, Andrew Howard, died in front of me at the hands of what I believed to be malpractice. I sued. And now, seven years later, I realize nothing will ever make what happened in that ER right. Nothing. He should still be here, period. He should have had that chance. Nothing will ever bring all my friends back from the 1980s that died of AIDS, while most communities stood by and watched. Nothing, ever will fix it.
So I have a choice. I can be a victim of these terrible wrongs that have happened to me, and in my life, and to those I love. Or I can remove my gaze from the rear view mirror long enough to drive forward, because you cannot drive forward with success only looking back. I can chose to never forgive, to never forget, to share, to memorialize, to remember and to try and make sure things like these never happen again. But if I can't make any progress if I let those boulders, those enormous weights of those atrocities, tie me down. I'll sink to the bottom instead of just treading water like most. So, I let them go, I get over them, like every huge hill. And once in the valley of change, I can still see that hill I got over, but I don't have to climb it again.
Obama said African Americans should not be victims of the anger of the past. In other words, get over it. Move forward. He and I are on the same page, but I guess he can't be called a racist, right?
Great wrongs are too heavy to carry. Set them down. Leave them where they are. Move over them, get through them, get over them. And once on the other side, gather new strength, touch that heavy stone and say you'll always remember it, but leave it there, get over it and don't let it ruin your future, our future, our lives.
Life is hard for most everyone. And most everyone has had tragedy, or feels less than many, many times. And sadly, many like blacks, gays, Hispanics, American Indians, so many minorities have horrific things in their past. But is that past the future?
Well, if you're a victim of it, sure. Victims are no longer victims when they become empowered, personally or otherwise. And who would have the strength to empower themselves or their community if they are carrying around the weight of such atrocities.
It has been reported that Mother Theresa questioned or lost her faith because of all the horrors she saw. Well, many may question their faith in God, but I do not question my faith in mankind because we have free will. Each of us can leave behind the horrifying pains of the past, get over those hills, and truly change and look forward. Or we can keep having the same fights, we can grow up with attitudes shaped sometimes more out of history than present reality, and with all of that weight we can no longer tread water and sink, failing as a nation and a people because we refused to realize some wounds never heal, you simply work with them and move beyond them.
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Posted March 21, 2008 | 08:19 PM (EST)