3/31/08
2:30pm
Alexandria, VA

Is happiness contagious? Is optimism contagious?

If one spouse is happy and one spouse is sad, which one will give in to the other--the happy one or the sad one?

I've suffered from depression for over 50 years - my mother's.

It is beginning to seem likely that many mental health problems have both biological and environmental components. A temporary bout of sadness may be cured with a little time and sympathy, but clinical depression, bipolar disorder, etc. will respond better to medication AND talk therapy than one or the other.

Two people who're vulnerable to depression may be drawn to each other, and if one has a severe depressive cycle it saddens the other. I've had that situation with friends...we looked to each other for comfort because we had things in common (including depression) but sometimes one of us was able to lift up the other and sometimes one pulled the other's mood down.

Then there's really odd combos like me and my ex: when I was depressed, he was happy. When I was full of energy and self-confidence, he moped. Since we parted I still have to deal with my mood swings, but at least nobody prefers that I be depressed!

If you love and live with someone, you bet it's depressing to watch him suffer from the depression (mania isn't as fun as it looks either).

I have bipolar I disorder with a history of psychotic symptoms (they thought I had schizophrenia once) and mixed state. That's when you have mania AND depression, and risk of suicide, self-harm and other kinds of destructive behavior is highest in a mixed episode. I take medication, and it helps somewhat, but it never goes completely away.

I know the disease affected my parents, siblings, closest friends and ex-wife. You really have to have had depression or bipolar yourself to really know how to deal with someone in our predicament. It's hard to explain that my mood swings, lack of or excessive drive, occasionally bad temper or general eccentricity is something we can't always control, and it has no apparent cause. You're walking on egg shells, worried that you might hurt the other person and trigger worse symptoms.

I know because I've been on both sides of the issue: not only do I have bipolar, but so do some of those family members and close friends.

yes ----- that's why i got divorced ---- now I'm the happiest man on the face of the earth !

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Nowadays everything is Contagious.

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