Starbucks To Announce "Something Big" Next Tuesday

stop serving those nasty sandwiches

a well made cup of FOLGERS is just as good to me as the pretentious swill they serve.

Their house blend tastes like the crap my grandfather used to make after Grandma died. I say they start with a good cup of coffee. Price it about $0.75 a cup. Use Common English terms. Say "latte" only when the clerk's native language is Italian. Throw out the chairs used by deadbeats and bring in ice cream freezers. Offer sandwiches at neighborhood, not market, prices based on NYC markets. Get real. Or. Go out of business. I couldn't care less either way since I've never had a good cup of coffee there yet.

Noon on Tuesday?

Sorry, but I WORK for a living.

Just go to Mcdonald's and get one of their new iced coffees. For about $2 you can get a delicious hearty drink. Less than half the price, and no tip necessary.

Here's the business model: burn the coffee and call it flavor, promote it with product placement in every film or video ever produced, and charge outrageous prices.

my friend told me.

fresh coffee every day. not packaged grinded coffee bags. freshly brewed every 30mins. coffee wont be older then 2 weeks from the farms.

also, freshly baked pastries delivered every morning.

My entire identity is wrapped up in Starbucks. From the creamy interior colors with an occasional dark wood accented with bright hue to the super hot retro and cutting edge CD collection. Not to mention the false size cup labels and the coffee so expensive it convinces me I'm having the paramount experience.

also, fresh bakery style pastries everyday.

enjoy.

ok, brace yourself. my friend who is a supervisor at starbucks told me what the surprise is.

fresh coffee. no older then 2 weeks from the farms. starbucks will be brewing new coffee every 30 minutes as opposed to every hour. it'll be freshly scooped coffee, not packaged grinded coffee bags like it was before. i think also a new pastry.

basically fresh coffee is the big announcement. and i still dont give a shit about it. just thought i'd ruin the surprise.

great marketing strategy though.

my friend works at sbux and told me what it is. but, i was drunk at the time so now i forgot.

Peet's (THE ORIGINAL, and Starbucks' major and WAY BETTER competitor) just celebrated their 40th birthday by giving away a 1/2 lb of beans when you buy a lb. I got in on that. Anything less than that is just an insult to Starbucks' patrons).

I bet this time they're going to close for SIX hours!!!!

they are going to start brweing an upscale house blend that will always be availbe in addition to the coffees off the week and the specialty items.

be afraid, be very afraid

free refills for regular or decaf is what i've heard

free refills on regular or decaf coffee is what i'v e heard

This is ridiculous! It's just coffee!!

If they're smart, they'll keep in mind the 80,000 jobs that were lost around the country last month, the highest since the 60's I believe. And with that in mind, they will stop appealing to the latte crowd only, and start ALSO appealing to the blue collar worker (hey, they want to be a combo Obama/Clinton!).

To do that, they would need to offer lower priced coffee selections and edible items.

Come in to Starbucks on Tuesday April 8 (changed from April 1 because people might think it's an April Fool's joke, which it is)

Help us celebrate something big, like a bunch of morons getting fired from their jobs because they were drooling over coffee at 9 in the morning. Not to worry, we'll hire them as baristas plus.

Aye, it looks like Mystery Theater!

maybe they'll pay their workers their tips back

Wow. As hard as I try, I just can't care about his.

They're going to stop burning their beans? I can only hope, though I still wouldn't shop at McCoffee's.

Coffee flavored Slurpees, microwavable burritos, malt liquor, and lottery tickets.