Nun-Cents: or, What Would Debbie Do?

The omnipresent god that allows millions to suffer -- in Iraq, in Darfur, across Africa and around the globe -- took centerstage in Hollywood last Wednesday, and a joyful noise was sung out to millions of wide-eyed Americans as they tapped their toes in ignorant bliss. American Idol's foul turn to religion with "Shout to the Lord" solidified the show as yet another "family-oriented" faithful Fox program worthy of the Christian stamp of approval that always dumbs down America.

Godly songs don't guarantee a heavenly end for the canaries that sing them. In 1963, as The Beatles were poised to blast their way into musical immortality and while the "Angels" charted their proclamation "My Boyfriend's Back," a Belgian nun poked her head out from its cloistered cocoon to become an international phenomenon and a one-hit world-wide sensation. Sister Jeanne Deckers took the name Soeur Sourire (Sister Smile) but she was always still simply known as "The Singing Nun." Her catchy French tune "Dominique" trills about St. Dominic, the namesake of her order. The folk song knocked "Louie, Louie" out of the number one chart position and landed her a spot on the infamous "Ed Sullivan Show."

In 1967 she left the convent to record her second album, "I Am Not A Star (in Heaven)." The album flopped. Still devout, she still disagreed with the Catholic Church over birth control. She recorded a song called "Glory to God for the Golden Pill" -- a direct reference to contraception. By the late 1960s Sister Smile was also was a supporter of the gay rights movement. By the mid-70s, she retreated to the swaddle of obscurity, opening up a home for autistic children with her lesbian companion of 10 years, Annie Pescher.

Hollywood jumped on Sister Smile's story as soon as her first single was sold. The Singing Nun went up on the silver screen in 1966. Starring Debbie Reynolds, the flick cashed in on the nun craze. Sister Smile personally denounced the film as a work of fiction. With the nun-shrouded-in-white-who-befriends-a-lonely-orphan subplot, it's all MGM fodder-fiction. When Reynolds as The Singing Nun sees wild sixties marauders dancing that definitive dance "the clam" to her beloved Dominique, she runs into church to pray on her knees under a giant crucifix.

Reynolds miraculously remains a star; even challenged by her silliest film, she is no worse than a few of today's stars at their best. Behind her sparking blue eyes, she's laughing at her film with us -- it's just about the one song anyway.

TV legend Ed Sullivan plays himself. When he comments that the nuns look "white," he learns the nuns don't wear makeup. Meanwhile, Debbie Reynolds and the other actresses' faces look like Marilyn Monroe, or at least like gals on the town at a cocktail lounge. Supporting star Agnes Moorehead is worth the 97 minutes out of your life. You know she's trying her best; she's great to watch.

But back to reality: the comforts of her religion might have kept Sister Smile from fearing death, but taxes were a different matter. By 1978 she owed approximately 50,000USD to the Belgian government in back taxes. The money, she claimed, was donated to the Catholic Church, which offered her no help in securing the archived receipts. As finances grew worse, Sister Smile revived her singing career, releasing an electronic version of her 1963 hit, but she was too late. In 1985 under self-perceived financial strain, she and her companion committed suicide by taking an intentional overdose of barbiturates and alcohol.

America is back in the Christian mentality that sparked this movie and a similarly benign TV series. Back then, we were embroiled in Vietnam -- and it doesn't take much to see that our Iraq war may last a lot longer and be an even greater catastrophe. In the Vietnam era, Americans made a choice: they protested and worked to support candidates of reason, or they retreated into the cozy womb of the nun's world and the implied wise influence of the omnipresent warmth of the good lord.

Americans have a right to be bitter, but we must have the intelligence to move past our own clinging fears. Our nation must deal realistically, intelligently, and even scientifically with our problems. Barack Obama is accurate. Waiting for god is a waste of time, and firearms cannot defend us from internal collapse. We need to reclaim our national sense.

In the end for Sister Smile and her partner, God never came. They killed themselves for $50,000 -- the equivalent of less than 10 seconds of our Iraq war, and still we send our checks to the IRS as we turn are heads shouting to the Lord with American Idol.

Comments

[InstantDogma]

Over three thousand years of monotheism. Not a shred of rational proof.
Steve

[Galadriel]

I have always liked what one of my friends said long ago to some Jehovah's Witnesses at the door. "I prefer to get my religious experiences through drugs." Needless, to say they were gone before you could say Jehovah!

Couldn't agree with Mr. Gregory more. If there is one very destructive force on this planet besides pure stupidity it is religion. The worse is when followers believe that they are made in the image of God (though I find it is more like God is made in man's image) and so therefore everything else is beneath them. This is a big reason why our planet is going under. It teaches people to have no responsibility at all for their actions, because God makes everything better like the father in a Disney movie. If something good happens, it's because of the "goodness of God", if something bad happens, it's "God works in mysterious ways". God just can't seem to get away from all the responsibility from all of these people He has created who have absolutely no accountability for anything and just let God carry all the burden for his own mistake of ever creating such a destructive creature in the first place. Is that possible, could God have made a mistake?

[Sciguy]

American Idol? That's still on?

As for the Singing Nun - I still have that first album (swiped it from my parents). The poor old vinyl thing is uncomfortable, what with being surrounded by Beatles, Stones, and Iron Butterfly albums, but it (and most of the others) survived my house burning down a few years ago. So - I can still be inspired by Dominique if'n I git tired of Gimme Shelter...

[darcy]

still we send our checks to the IRS as we turn are heads shouting to the Lord with American Idol.

Not all of us, Tom.

Re handgun control, it's a two-sided coin. Take away all handguns and how do people like me (older women) defend themselves? The world is full of savage human males, against whom we have no chance without a weapon.

[carsick]

Most hand gun legislative proposals I've seen are more about including a waiting period and more accountability in registration. That shouldn't be a burden for most law abiding citizens not in the throes of a mental health issue.

[mommadona]

Jesus.
Elvis.

No difference.

Mortal men transferred to idolatry
That's the way "we mortals" be.

Gotta learn to stand on your own two feet.
Free Will.
Use it, or lose it.

[Sciguy]

My favorite graffiti was on a bridge support on I-64 in Kentucky. I don't know if it was the work of one graffiti-writer or was just an odd juxtaposition of different people's ramblings, but it read "Elvis, Jesus or Death." That said it all!

[dancewosleeping]

Unless you're a non-Christian, you have NO idea how far Jesus is shoved down our throats. And I'm not slamming people's personal beliefs, but he doesn't happen to be mine. And because beliefs are personal, I don't expect that your belief system follow mine. Most Christians would be incredibly offended if I assumed they follow my own moral code, but they have no problem expecting me, the country, and the whole world to follow theirs.
So no, I am not surprised in the least that AI had them sing some religious songs...