Democratic Race 'Too Mean,' Say Swift Boat Veterans

The Democratic race for president has descended to "a level of meanness and acrimony that is damaging to American politics," the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth said today.

The Swift Boat group, which became famous in 2004 for attacking Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry, said that they were speaking out because "the current Democratic contest is giving swiftboating a bad name."

"We have increasingly heard pundits accusing Clinton and Obama of swiftboating each other," said Swift Boat Veteran Tracy Klugian. "This hurts the reputation of swiftboating."

Mr. Klugian was quick to draw a distinction between what Sens. Clinton and Obama are doing and swiftboating, which he called "a noble profession."

"When you try to destroy a member of another party, that's swiftboating," said Mr. Klugian. "When you do it to a member of your own party, that's cannibalism."

He said that the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth would soon air ads attacking both Democratic candidates for sullying the reputation of swiftboating.

"Tear each other up if you want to, but don't take swiftboating down with you," he said. "That's just unfair."

The Swift Boat Veterans' statement came on the heels of a similar statement by the Weather Underground, a '60's radical group that has been tied to both the Obama and Clinton camps over the past week.

"We denounce and reject both candidates," said the Weather Underground, who has seen its approval ratings plummet in recent days.

Elsewhere, CNN's Larry King said he would continue his series on polygamy, saying that he was uniquely qualified to discuss people who had more than five wives.

Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, BorowitzReport.com. He is the host of "Countdown to '08" at the 92nd Street Y on Tuesday, May 13 at 8 PM with his special guests Calvin Trillin (The New Yorker), Susie Essman (HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm) and Jonathan Alter (Newsweek, MSNBC). For tickets, go to 92y.org.

Comments

[indypete]

Pssst... have you heard.... Obama's got a black baby and Hillary has been sleeping with Bill Clinton!

[LeeinJax]

I'm willing to bet that second rumor is a lie.

[Fez]

You know if the Swift Boaters had been half as tough and mean and nasty in Viet Nam as they were in the last presidential election, the US might have won that war. But the "Swift Boat Veterans for Truth" were and are nothing more than cowards and criminals who couldn't whip the VC and now find themselves as subjects of ridicule, scorn, and contempt. But I'm sure they are all quite proud that "swiftboating" has become verb that means to speak vile, repugnant lies for partisan political purposes.

[Pookie2112]

Well, Swiftboat Vets for "Truth" - go cry me a river and DROWN in it.

[GonzoFactor]

"We have increasingly heard pundits accusing Clinton and Obama of swiftboating each other," said Swift Boat Veteran Tracy Klugian. "This hurts the reputation of swiftboating."

Who ever said that total hypocrites can't have a sense of humor?

[TocinoHumano]

So are the Swift Boaters complaining about the meanness, or are they just upset that all this meanness if going on and they aren't getting to be part of it (yet!)?

[AlisonChaynz]

lol - good stuff

[Zentomato]

These Swiftboat guys live in Bizarro World. Up means down, hello means goodbye, etc.

[Jazzylady26]

Well, I'll be damned. A group of sleazy white men, got together to attack another white man, at the behest of of two or even three other white men, Rove, Bush, Cheney(Cheeny, Cheesy) and they sit and accuse someone else of dirty politics? Am I seeing right? Giving swift boating a bad name? This is the same set of sleazy white men who can't wait to get their hands on Obama, so I know this is some kind of sick joke, it's got to be. It's to be hoped that everyone will tell this group of sleaze pots to sit down and shut their simple white gobs.

[cynara]

Umm, its called a "parody". For those of us with a sense of humor.....

[gemcando06]

I think that the Dems should just forget the whole thing. After all, Mr. Bush is doing a great job of backing McCain - how will the Dems have a chance? McCain plus Bush, how can he loose?

And he has such a beautiful wife, McCain. She is so feminine she can't even stand revealing her 2007 income. And don't bother her with her husband's political life - all she does is sign the checks. And she is glad to be by his side - his good side, that is.

[hoos30]

Very funny!

[Stevealmi]

Oh like they were going to back a Democrat? How many soldiers have died in Iraq because these lying bastards could be bought by the Republican party. They served in Viet Nam which had no honor as the conflict was started by another Texan with bad intel who wanted to get the war machine running. Then when you had a chance to save other lives , you ducked. It is called swiftboating because it is and always will now be a bad thing.

[Elen]

The Swift Boat Group is concerned because: "the current Democratic contest is giving swiftboating a bad name." This group, who gave us Bush, is not concerned that their actions created the path for the war in Iraq? They are not concerned that because of this war many of us have lost children, husbands and friends? I for one am glad that Swiftboating will always be synonymous with underhanded and treacherous. This Democratic contest is not giving Swiftboating a bad name...Swiftboaters bequeathed that term with its pejorative tenor.

[dct19]

Anne Coulter said she was shocked and embarrassed for both Obama and Clinton.

[vallon]

LMFAO

[avraamjack]

VERY FUNNY COLUMN!!!!!!!
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The rest of my comment lacks humour:
:
-----CLINTON SLEEZE FATIGUE WILL INVIGORATE GOP, DISPIRIT DEMOCRATS AND SINK DEMOCRATIC TICKET-----

-----OBAMA / WEBB to WIN-----

It is possible that Senator Clinton is the best candidate. However, even though many may like the policies that Senator Clinton proposes, they should also consider her record, just as Senator Clinton insists.
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The last Clinton Administration, when faced with the fact that protection rackets where assaulting, torturing and murdering people with poison and radiation, chose to avoid its responsibilities to incarcerate the criminals and to protect the citizenry.
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Instead, they made a deal with the criminal gang stalker protection rackets to leave them alone and to consequently abandon the citizenry.
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Do we want a President who sells out the citizenry for votes?
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Do we want a President who sends a "crime does pay" message to society?
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Would you vote for a President who signed nonaggression deals with the KKKlan or the Nazi party? Gangs that torture with poison and radiation are much like the KKKlan and Nazi Party.
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We do not need a sellout President. We need a principled leader President.
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If you are one of the few who do not know what the above refers to, do a web search for "gang stalking" to see the tip of the dirtberg. Please do it before you decide to reply to my post. Here let me make it easy for you: http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=%22gang+stalking%22.
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[hubbstan]

I wondered why this time the infight became so mean spirited. I came to realize that as long as Hillary Clinton is part of the fight, she drags everyone in to the gutter. She is a superwoman of dirty politics.