I"ve had a few experiences sitting at the "tables of power" in my young professional life. And, since I started having kids three years ago, those days working my way toward the top have been sidelined. It"s not that clear what"s happening. After all, the ceiling is glass, isn"t it?
I work as a freelance consultant now to have the balance and flexibility I need. I wonder what the long-term impacts will be on my career. I feel lucky to have choices and gratitude to the women who made these choices possible. I think now is the time to start creating even better options to keep women successfully engaged in advancing their careers while they raise their families.
Here are things I think need to change so women can keep their seat warm at the tables of power. We (Moms and Dads) need:
Time and support managing our family lives.
Options for flexible work schedules.
On-site daycare, lactation, and exercise facilities.
Management philosophies that recognize work-life balance is good for business.
To believe it is ok for both parents to work and that our kids are safe and incredibly enriched when they have high-quality daycare.
Maybe if we recognize women will bear children during defining, productive years of their professional lives, we can begin to imagine a new workplace that helps families meet these additional demands. Until then, women will continue to leave their seats at the tables of power to care for their families.
Help Us Write "The Gender Speech"
When Senator Obama called on our nation to create a more perfect union, his appeal resonated deeply with Americans of every race. His words spoke to the legacies of the grief and guilt, anger and apprehension that we bear as a nation, remnants of a history which has never been remedied. We are all scarred by the racial wounds of injustice, and we will be perpetually hindered as individuals, as communities, and as a nation until we address the historic and current, the overt and discreet, the personal and the structural, manifestations of racism in our society.
Obama's speech has paved the way for a much-needed conversation on race in America. Yet there is another essential element to creating a more perfect union: acknowledging and rectifying the persistent and pervasive injustices based on gender that women continue to experience in all areas of life. If we are, in Senator Obama's words, "to continue the long march of those who came before us, a march for a more just, more equal, more free, more caring and more prosperous America" then we must march for women as well.
What would a speech on gender sound like? Would it speak to the continued wage gap, the perpetual attacks on women's sexual autonomy, the lack of affordable child care and healthcare? Would it reference the continued political disenfranchisement and under-representation of women in the upper echelons of business and politics? Of the unity and divisions which exist among women themselves?
We need to open up the conversation on gender in America. And it is our thought, at The White House Project, that no one woman, or leader, or organization should be writing that speech. Instead, the women of our nation must join together to chart this course. Only then can we speak to the diversity of women's experiences, our shared and divergent historical repression, and the realities of our lives today.
So we invite you to share with us, in the comments section below, what you would include in such a speech. We'll start with our own contribution, but it's up to you to flesh out the rest--because only when we all contribute our voices and visions to this monumental task of closing the gender gap, will we finally be able to create that "more perfect union" we've been striving for for so long.
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If this "speech" carries any real weight, it should not exclude men--it should not exclude men from giving the very speech. As a woman who believes in equal rights for women, I have always felt that one of the biggest mistakes of ardent (if not militant) feminists was to somehow treat men with disdain and dismiss ideas coming from men. If women rights are about human rights, then men ought to be included in the discussion, as participants, not as targets.
To be more specific, Mr. Obama is as qualified to talk about issues related to women as any woman.
Before you starts your criticism of me, pause and ask yourself how you'd feel about Ann Coulter giving a speech on this topic.
And it does matter who delivers this speech. It matters that it not be done by someone who has played every stereotypical manipulation credited to women throughout the history of womankind in order to further her own interests--AKA Hillary Clinton. It matters that it is inclusive of men; it matters that it is inclusive of the diversity of women and the roles they have played historically. It matters most that it comes from someone whose life reflects these qualities of inclusiveness; it matters that it comes from someone who understands empathy, someone who feels it. Obama's speech was powerful because it and he are indicative of these qualities. Women deserve no less...but then again, I would hope that we would not be so self serving as to diminish the importance of his speech by making this another contest.
Can you start by contacting Hillary Clinton and asking her surrogates to stop using emasculating language about a candidate who respects women and wants to protect women's rights? I have a hard time taking HillFems seriously when they're aligned with a man like James Carville who accuses Obama of 'hiding behind the NYTimes Editorialists skirts'.
It's hard to see Clinton as a feminist candidate when she promises to 'obliterate' entire nations and when she supoprts this proxy gender war - one in which Obama can't win because it requires him to become a neanderthal to prove his 'manliness'.
How can you write 'The Gender Speech' when the person who should deliver it is citing 'feminine behaviors' as weak and ineffective in protecting this nation???? What good would your speech be?
Well said. As a third-generation feminist of Clinton's age (+ 5), I won't vote for her because she will (if she hasn't already) set feminism back by at least 50 years. Instead of pioneering a NEW way, she has adopted the worst attributes of the male power structure and female stereotype in a narcissistic, win-at-any-cost, out-macho-the-male-competition, but whine-if-things-don't-go -my-way strategy. She has no center, no moral compass, and precious little dignity left. The (male dominated) media now profess to admire this conduct. What would their attitude be if she actually got the nomination? Their misogyny would be something to behold.
The only genuine feminist in this race is Obama. My feminist son frequently tells me how glad he is that my head whacks on the glass ceiling have not turned me into the bitter, enraged, crazy old lady many of Clinton's female supporters often appear to be. I find significant satisfaction in that.
Well Marie, women are included in the more perfect union peice. To separate women issues away from the larger peice invites a struggle of the isms (classism, racism, sexism). In this context, as women, we must first see ourselves as humans and help define what we share with others before selfishly jumping to the front of the line to demand that our interest are first served. With that said, I offer this contribution to your request:
Your request suggest that we need to ask male politicians to do right by us womenfolk. Why must we do that? How is it that man born of woman makes bad decisions that affect our lives? Isn't that odd?
As the mother of mankind, we have the opportunity to be the first teachers to our sons and daughters. These daughters and sons grow up and may enter politics. We can influence their worldview before they turn 7 years old.
So we must ask ourselves why the sons we raised who now serve our government and head up corporations view women as they do. Could it be as mothers and first teachers we failed to impact these people worldview when they were still children? if we really want to affect change, let us start with the baby in the cradle.
Lastly, Marie, a lot has changed since the 60's except we may be continuing to raise our boys to become men who don't respect the needs and desires of women.
My adult son is a feminist. But I remember when he was about 4 years old, hearing him mutter under his breath while he was watching Sesame Street's Maria fix a broken bicycle, "She can't do that." He wouldn't repeat what he had said out loud, but I addressed the sentiment anyway. "Do you think she can't fix the bicycle because she's a woman?" I asked him. He admitted that's what he thought. "Who fixes things that are broken in our house" I asked. "You do," he said rather sheepishly. It occurred to me at the time that misogyny was so pervasive in the society that a child too young to be in school had internalized some of its prejudices even when they were contrary to his own experience and the evidence seen by his own eyes.
We have come a long way in changing attitudes, the women of my generation have, beginning with our sons, but the next generation of moms still have their work cut out for them.
Obama wrote the speech on race and Hillary said she was glad he did it. If she truly is a leader, let her write the definitive speech on gender.
This seems weird because you're asking for all of us to help write a speech similar to Obama's race speech.
What's implied is that Obama's speech spoke for all.
... speech parag. one...
"I have had to come to terms with the genetic imperitive to be coldly calculating and ruthless in pursuit of my goals. I have realized that natural selection has ingrained this behavior into the female genome through the maternal responsibility in our 'hunter/gatherer' past... because it was incumbent on the female to keep the children alive. This habit has extended into modern society where the imperitive is much less an emergency because resources are more readily available. The habit has caused a caustic tendency... where acting like testosterone injections are the vehicle to equality. I regret having forsaken my greatest and most powerful asset... "femininity"... for the ugly expedienceof beating my chest like an ape... because it's so easy that a cave man can do it...." (trademark Geico)
A good conversation would address the fact that women care whether people live or die. If we want our children to stop dying from poverty, poor health care, and the War in Iraq, we desperately need to elect a Democrat to the White House. Our best chance of doing that is if Clinton withdraws, enthusiastically endorses Obama, and urges all women to vote for him.
The hard fact is that Clinton cannot win in November--and that has nothing to do with gender. She is a polarizing figure, who creates antagonism. This is *not* just because of gender bias. I am a professional woman very close to her age; I know those difficulties. But people have innate personalities, and Clinton is a fighter who divides people between "us" and "them" and provokes deep antagonism.
If Clinton gets the nomination, Obama's supporters will generally support her. But she will be massacred by the right wing. The Republicans *want* Clinton to be their opponent, so they are not raising negatives about her now. Obama has been very gentle. But the rightwing will turn out in droves to oppose Hillary. The chances of her beating McCain are very, very small.
As a woman and mother I say: Our children have to stop dying. Hillary Clinton has little chance of beating McCain--even with Obama's enthusiastic support. Obama has a better chance of winning, especially if he has Clinton's support.
No way on earth do I want someone like HC speaking for me.........she knows nothing of the struggles of the "typical female" , she knows nothing of doing real work, and she knows nothing about raising children. When you never go without anything you want, there is no way you can relate to those who sacrifice everyday for their families.
of course when she loses the nomination maybe then she will be able to relate to not getting everything your own way.
Funny, I don't remember Barack Obama asking us to write his speech for him...
Talk to me after Hillary Clinton listens to and comments on Obama's speech.
I know that I've experiences discrimination for being a woman, especially in the work place.
But I also know that it is nothing compared to the discrimination that people of color experience.
Hillary only needs to give one speech: The Good-bye Speech.
No. Before that, she needs to offer some apologies. One for voting for the war, one for suggesting Obama is a Muslim, one for suggesting McCain is more qualified, one for being such a poor role model for women, one for damaging race relations in this country, and one to her supporters for running such a bad campaign and using their money so poorly.
One of the things that made Barack's speech so effective was his experience of being half black, and half white. That allowed him to address the problem from both points of view.
So maybe you can get a hermaphrodite - or at least a transgendered person - to help you out here.
Don't thank me. I'm here to help.
Can't stop laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
First, I must say that I can think of lots of men who really do respect women and value them. Mostly, they're older, though, and have been around the block many times and have felt the vulnerabilities in their own bodies... so they are no longer as demanding about women's appearances, and can appreciate them as people not unlike themselves.
My own litmus test:
I'll know when the majority of men are as fully engaged in eliminating sexism as they are in eliminating racism- when they not only no longer use the names of female body parts as the very worst epithets to call one another... but also call out other men who do so. And make them stop.
And if there is room in a speech on gender for a poem of poignant humor, then Lucille Clifton's "Wishes for Sons," must be included, as a reminder of the humility with which every woman must grapple at some point:
wishes for sons
by Lucille Clifton
i wish them cramps.
i wish them a strange town
and the last tampon.
I wish them no 7-11.
I wish them one week early
and wearing a white skirt.
i wish them one week late.
later i wish them hot flashes
and clots like you
wouldn't believe. let the
flashes come when they
meet someone special.
let the clots come
when they want to.
let them think they have accepted
arrogance in the universe,
then bring them to gynecologists
not unlike themselves.
I should have noted that Lucille Clifton is also African-American, and so her poem has a sub-text of race, too, with that "strange town."
you would need a woman to give a gender speech -- so that let's Hillary out
She has no heart and no soul --
Here's a good gender speech for Hillary to give:
" It is important for us to focus on the gains women have made over the last few decades.
We must fight to improve on these gains, and not have any of them taken away.
Therefore, we must do all we can to avoid a Republican presidential win in November. I ask you to join me in pledging to support and vote for the Democratic nominee in November, no matter which of us it may be. In addition, from this day forward I pledge to dedicate my energies toward battling the Republican candidate rather than limiting myself to simply attacking a fellow Democrat."
Race and gender discrimination are not on the same playing field, not even on the same planet. Discrimination regarding race is based upon seeing someone as one of "them" and if you are someone of such thinking you probably don't interact with "them" at all and may go out of your way to do so. On the other hand, at least 90% of the population activily attempts to associate on the most personal level with the opposite gender. So any such discrimination in this area is not based on pure hatred of "them", but on something less, something more like a superiority complex and a level of comfort. Yes both are bad, but they are not the same.
Additionally, I'm a 35 year old professional and the level of gender discrimination against women appears to be matched by the gender discrimination against men and both appear to be relatively rare at this time. The fact that Hillary Clinton was the preemptive next president of the United States as indicated in the press and opinion polls until she mangeled her campaign is evidence of this. But what about the pay differential or the fact that so many more men then women are in certain positions of power? These statistics are bunk. You can only compare a women versus a man if they are in the exact same field, same company, work the same hours, and have taken similar time off. The simple fact of it is that many women elect to take years off work (or not work at all) in order to raise families. Additionally, many women elect to work at jobs with known lower salaries in trade for additional time these jobs allow them to be with their families (think public school teachers). This is there choice, just as men could make the same choice, but most often don't. In fact, who really is being discriminated against in that men don't feel free to make the same choice? Women who step up and make their career their main focus, just as most men, succeed just as well and often more so then men.
Obama wrote his own speech, just like he wrote his own books. Hillary had a ghostwriter for her book and she needs to write her own speech.
In light of the results on the Lily Ledbetter Fair Pay Act today, I think we should start by asking the GOP, why they hate women, equality, fairness and worker's rights so much.
I think any speech on women's right should start from an international vantage point. We in the United States are fairly lucky when it comes to the way we live as women. There are too many issues to list here, but looking at the lives of women in parts of Asia, Africa, the Middle East and other places around the world will show the burden that so many people carry simply by virtue of being female. When we have a better knowledge and understanding of the daily lives of women around the world, we will have a better understanding of our own lives as women here in the United States. And we will be able to put the issue of women's rights in a more powerful context.
I think that we should speak to the value of women in the world. I have been reading that in Asia, especially China, the populations of some countries are becoming lopsided gender-wise. Many parents still value boys over girls, even in the rising middle class. Ultrasounds are used to determine whether the child should be aborted on the basis of gender. I'm sure that this happens to some extent in the US and the Western world. It's scary to think what would happen to the rights of women in these countries that have such a preponderance of men. The same would be true if women far outnumbered men. Somehow, nature has ensured that there was a pretty good balance between males and females. Then there is the whole sexual exploitation/slavery of women throughout the world. And yes, in the US. (One good thing that Bush did was draw attention to this.) Cultural attitudes need to be addressed.
I didn't see Clinton's name mentioned in Marie Wilson's posting. I think that she is calling for a general discussion and is not asking that Hillary be a spokesperson.
And yet, banats, if Hillary had chosen to run a high-road campaign, she would have been the PERFECT person to speak to this issue, an issue that should be addressed and is just as repugnant as racism (two different cousins inbred from the same rotten parents, as are ageism, heterosexism, etc.). What a wasted opportunity! Instead of being inspiring on this issue, she instead has chosen to employ the Karl Rove playbook. Perhaps it's beyond her grasp to truly inspire people. I think that she could have done it. Obama has chosen to appeal to our better, thinking natures (when he's not forced to respond to the latest Clinton campaign distortion or lie). Clinton has chosen to denegrate and ridicule our better, thinking natures, tearing down a candidate and the millions of people who support him in the process. I support the fair and equal treatment of ALL people. I understand that there are differences, but I want to do all I can to learn about the differences and constantly remind myself and others that we have more in common than not. That is how societies move forward. I always thought Clinton understood that. Apparently she doesn't. At least not when she's running for president.
The lopsided gender ratio in China may actually lead to a different result then expected. When all those little boys grow up and find there are insufficient women the "worth" (not monetary) of a women should sharply rise and those families with daughters and the women themselves should find themselves in true positions of powers and ready to dictate society terms. It's all supply and demand. Either that or China will start a war to kill off a large portion of their male population. Either way, not good for the boys.
Oooh, I got one based on a news story I read out of Europe about men, women, work, and life expectancy:
For decades now, women have striven to move in the same circles of power as men. They have made their way into the boardrooms, into the stock markets, into the financial centers. And what are they finding? Stress. Stress, a strain on familial relationships, a shortened life expectancy, more demands on their health. Women wanted all that men had, and they got it. The ulcers, the late nights, the weeks away from the family. Women can do everything a man can do in this world, but she may not like the results any more than men do.
When the gender roles have shifted and women fill the board rooms and the government halls of power, will they be happier with their lot? When contented men are enjoying the raising of kids and the leaving of the rat race, will women still strive to be the primary bread winners and run in the circles of power? When women have become as distant from their children as working men have become, will they still want that golden carrot?
I am a woman of Hillary Clinton's generation. I am NOT a supporter of her. She is phony, a liar, and a cheat. Anything else she might pretend to be is just pretense for her own gain. Her husband is the same, that is why they are standing up on the stage together.
Believe me, since the 1960's I have wanted a woman President. Ladies, it must be the right woman. Hillary is not the right woman. God forbid. If Hillary Clinton becomes the first woman President of the United States it will set woman back thousands of years.
Ask yourself seriously, do you want a woman in the White House who will rent out the bedrooms to the highest bidder, or who has been prosecuted for fraud, or who used the adultry of her husband for her political gain, or who charges up massive bills during her campaign and doesn't pay them, or who gets up on stages and performs as whatever she must to get votes?
I like your idea and the tone of the essay. But Obama has only been able to reach younger women and a small fraction of the older, most of whom have been played by the Clintons, the media and every gender-baiter ot there, it will take an extremely smart, older woman to write or speak up the way Alice Walker did, to help us take advantage of this opportune moment. This is what Martin Luther King meant in the first line of paragraph six of his "I have a Dream' when he spoke of the urgency of now. women, do your part. You know better how to speak to each other.
As a woman, I have the perfect gender speech for Hillary:
I am withdrawing from the campaign now before I do more damage to my party.
You want to start a conversation about gender?
How about at any point in your blog you mention that men can contribute, too.
I guess we cant be included in the conversation about gender because we arent the right gender?
I was gonna bring this up too Rev. If I get it right, the idea is for Hillary to give a gender speech like Obama gave a race speech. S
Posted April 24, 2008 | 10:32 AM (EST)