The Sound Of Silent Retreats

My silent treatments started 15 years ago. Stressed out, worn out and wigged out, I wanted out - of town, that is. But I was in no shape to make travel plans, so a friend of mine took one look at me and, over my feeble protestations, signed me up for a retreat in the Los Angeles mountains shepherded by a Benedictine monk. A silent retreat. No talking allowed.

I had never meditated in my life, nor have I ever been accused of harboring even the vaguest New Age tendencies. The possibility of my remaining silent for more than 10 minutes was a remote one. But my friend insisted and, besides, she was going, so I figured if things got too painful we could sneak in a conversation or two, but I quickly discovered something amazing: Once the burden of speech is lifted, so go all the social obligations and deliberations that clutter up your mind and time. Suddenly, I didn't have to decide or discuss a damn thing. All I had to do was show up and shut up.

Relieved of the usual distractions and endless, crucial daily chitchat, the mind and spirit can pay attention instead to thinking and reflecting in an internal workout called "meditative listening." It's amazing what you can hear when you stop talking.

We were pretty much on our own. Some read, some slept; I prayed and attended lectures on spirituality given by the monk. He invited questions, but I had turned purist and couldn't think of anything worth breaking my silence to say.

By weekend's end, I left reluctantly, arriving home so deeply refreshed I knew I had hit pay dirt. Since then, I've done my silent treatments in the California desert, in an old mansion in Montecito, in a cubicle in Big Sur, where monks serve your meals to you, prison-like, through a vestibule door; in a castle nunnery in France, and an old monastery in Ireland. I look to them as my yearly safety valve.

Apparently, I'm not the only one anxious for silence. There are now books that list retreats all over the country for the increasing numbers of 'silent disciplined.' And the last time I visited the Montecito retreat, nuns informed me that I should call May 1 at 9 a.m. sharp for a summer slot: So great is the stampede for silence that by 11 a.m. the entire summer is booked.

Amazing thing, silence. A sound you rarely hear.

This piece originally ran in the Los Angeles Times Magazine.

Comments

[Jonahson]

If you go into a forest and come across a beautiful still water pool, ponder upon the calm surface.
If in a crowded area suddenly you feel a moment of peace and calm, treasure that moment.
Sitting in a train, bus or plane close your eyes and feel your heart beat, a moment of peace.
Lying in your bed and can't sleep with thoughts and desires still swirling around, just imagine standing on top of a hill and watch hose emotion spin without joining in, calm will prevail when the hurricane lose its energy.
You need more time for yourself to find inner peace and with that you will find inner strength and with that you will find love to help others.

[DharamDev]

Obviously the desire to speak has returned, which is expected as silence is an unnatural imposition. Speech has to be purified, not eliminated. Silence is a good alternative to all the foolishness that is spoken today, but it is not our ultimate goal. We want to control the tongue, and sometimes silence is good, but it is better to resolve to only speak authorized knowledge about the absolute truth.

People think of silence as a way of communing with God, and indeed Krishna says in Bhagavad-gita that, "Of secret things I am silence." But silence is only a partial representation of God; moreover, He is very expressive. One can advance quickly by keeping silent, but only to an intermediate stage. Complete knowledge includes the ability to express it either in summary or elaborately.

After speaking on so many useless things throughout many, many births, one may eventually consider that silence is better. But better than silence is truthfully speaking real, transcendental knowledge. As Krishna says in Bhagavad-gita 13.26 (http://bhagavadgitaasitis.com/13/26/en), "Again there are those who, although not conversant in spiritual knowledge, begin to worship the Supreme Person upon hearing about Him from others. Because of their tendency to hear from authorities, they also transcend the path of birth and death." This hearing, which means someone is speaking, is how one receives authoritative knowledge about spiritual life. One who knows it is obligated to speak.

[FdeBear]

I did a two week silent journal writing retreat some years ago and will never forget it. It was so freeing. This article reminded me of how much I loved the experience and that I should plan to do it again. It's like allowing cloudy water to settle.

[DharamDev]

Silence is better than speaking nonsense, but those who know God have a duty to speak about God.

[julieeiluj]

what does silence have to do with god?

[wm1066]

My indian guru in the seventies was a 'silent baba', he spoke with his hands. He had built a cave out of solid rock as a shrine of silence, it was so quiet in the cave you could hear your own blood rushing in your veins. He taught his devotees in the meditation of silence. The benefits of silence are real and can really help us cope with the insanity of today. It can be alittle hard to start this meditation but once you get the hang of it you will use it for the rest of your life....and its nondenominational!

[cktirumalai]

The saying "Speech is silvern, silence is golden" was once very well known but is not much heard anymore.
And I remember the admonition: "Don't say anything unless you can improve upon the silence."

[mjhawes]

We can only hear the God within in silence. It's the spiritual equivalent of filling up the tank which is why at some point on the spiritual path, meditation is not optional. I'm about to attend my church's annual 6 day silent retreat and my tank needs a refill, even though I'm a daily meditator. Thanks for trying to spread the word, although it's harder to find space in the monasteries.

[ArabianMonkey]

Sounds wonderful! I learned silence a few years ago when the noise pollution just got sickening. Today I can go for days without talking or chatter - in still silence. And finally I can hear a whole new clarity. Enjoy the silent spaces you'll discover!