Breakfast -- Puffed Kashi + skim milk, 3 points, grumpy.
Snack -- Sleeve of Oreos, a MILLION points, I'm such a pig!
Lunch -- Rice cakes and self loathing, 1 point.
Snack -- ENTIRE Entenmann's cake, Ugh, I look like I'm wearing a suicide belt...of...

Justifying your Hollywood career to your family has never been easy, from the niece who quizzes you about the celebrities you've met (unless the answer is one of the High School Musical eunuchs, you flunk) to the blow-hard uncle who couldn't even make it through a single episode of your...

I promised myself I wouldn't bring this up, it's a hobbyhorse that I like to ride that has yet to excite anyone but me. But now that Dick Cheney is claiming his office is not an "entity within the executive branch" I can't help myself. You see, I believe the...

Sacha Baron Cohen couldn't have done it better himself. Ann Coulter, in a bizarre mimicry of Cohen's hate-raking act, appeared before a large gathering of influential Republicans and pretended to be something she isn't: funny. Like Cohen, she gains their trust through the allowances one makes for certain impairments (in...

My half-assed Google search reveals that either Gandhi or Churchill or the Pope said, "The measure of a nation is how it treats the least among its weakest children...or animals or unborn prisoners." The exact quote is fuzzy precisely because it's so popular. Really, it's a slut of a quote,...