This weekend, I was talking with an east coast friend, and as I was going on this rant about the importance of ridding yourself of negative energy, he said, "Oh my God. You're so LA now." This isn't the first time this has been said to me recently, so I started to think about things I now do and say that are "so LA," and it's ridiculous (but so amazing at the same time). Here are a few that stand out. Three-years-ago-me would laugh in current me's face if you would have told her this was going to happen.
Working Out: The amount of time and money people spend working out in this city is asinine, and I'm completely guilty of it. There are new "must-try" workouts being offered all of the time, and you can find some sort of gym or studio on every block. For me, it's mostly SoulCycle, but here is this week's schedule. (Seriously):
- Monday: CrossFit in the morning. Nothing at night because Kentucky is playing in the National Championship
- Tuesday: SoulCycle in the morning. Nothing at night because I'm going to see "Book of Mormon"
- Wednesday: SoulCycle in the morning. Hot yoga at night.
- Thursday: SoulCycle in the morning. Pilates at night.
- Friday: SoulCycle in the morning. Nothing at night, because hopefully I have a date.
- Saturday: SoulCycle in the morning. Nothing at night because it's Saturday, and hopefully I have a date.
- Sunday: Body by Simone in the morning. Nothing at night because it's Sunday, and hopefully I have a date.
Before LA, I "worked out" maybe once a week and mostly because a friend taught a spin class.
Mediation: I literally pay money to sit in a room with someone oooh-ing and ahhh-ing to reflect on my life through a series of breathing exercises.
Complaining about the weather: For 27 years, I lived in cities that had four distinct seasons. I walked to many college classes in the pouring Kentucky rain; I shoveled my car out of mounds of snow following "Snowmaggedon" in Baltimore and I suffered through spring allergies every year until moving to LA. I should be thrilled when it's 60 degrees in February. Alas, once it gets below 65 degrees, I am "freezing" cold.
Making plans with friends: Ninety percent of the time, it involves working out. I haven't seen a girlfriend for a couple of months, and instead of grabbing drinks, we're meeting at UCLA to run the stairs as our "catch up" event. New fad workout comes to town? Grab your closest gal pals (they'll all want to try it) and... that counts as plans.
Zen Speak: This is what my east coast friends have titled my new way of communicating. Basically, it means I speak in sunshine and rainbows and unicorns and butterflies. Some frequent "zen speak" phrases of mine include:
- My heart is so full
- All the love
- Something about letting go of the evil and pursuing happiness (my new phrase for this is "don't dance with darkness." I totally stole it from a soul friend... obviously)
Juice Cleanses: These should really just be called torturing yourself, let's be real. I can't even justify doing these stupid things, but anytime someone suggests it, or I'm feeling fat (PMSing), I'm all in.
Shape House: While this is a recent development, in addition to all of the workouts and the meditation, I actively pay money to lay in a hot bag and sweat so profusely that my hands go numb.
Complaining about tourists: I have not even lived here 1,000 days, and I somehow believe I have the right to complain about people visiting Los Angeles. But, for real, they're the worst. Like, get out of my way, and get out of line if you don't know what you want to order at Intelligentsia, which you're not pronouncing correctly. Thanks.
Valet parking: I think this is the one that would bother former me the most. There is absolutely no reason for me to ever valet park my car, so the fact that I frequently do so is just super lazy. On that note...
Driving everywhere: Like, even to the Starbucks that is three blocks away. And then complaining about traffic, because it's all day, every day, everywhere, always.
I'm so LA.