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Abby Rodman, LICSW
Abby Rodman is a psychotherapist, relationship expert, author and speaker, renowned for her focus on midlife dating, marriage and divorce. She has appeared on the Today Show with Kathie Lee and Hoda, HuffPost Live, and is regularly sought out by print, broadcast and online media outlets for her expertise on relationship issues. Abby is a regular blogger on the Huffington Post, and YourTango. Her work has also appeared in the Boston Globe Magazine. Her book, "Should You Marry Him?" is a must-read for both women and men at any stage of life who are considering tying the knot. Abby is currently at work on her second book -- based on research she conducted -- which explores women's experiences with midlife divorce. Find out more at

Entries by Abby Rodman, LICSW

Stop Begging: 6 Things to Say to Convince Your Partner to Stay

(0) Comments | Posted October 8, 2014 | 9:16 AM

In the history of the world, begging a partner to stay has never ended in a good result. Even if -- after all your pleading -- your partner agrees to hang out in the relationship a while longer, it's only a matter of time before he or she will grow...

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Don't Just Stand There... Do Something! 6 Ways To Help A Friend Through Divorce

(6) Comments | Posted October 5, 2014 | 10:08 AM

When someone loses a loved one, you offer your sympathies. When someone has a baby, you send a lovely gift. When someone is divorcing, you...? Hmm. Right. You know you should do or say something -- but you choose to keep your distance instead.

Here's why you shouldn't: On...

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9 Non-Negotiables You'll Need to Forgive an Affair

(6) Comments | Posted October 3, 2014 | 3:08 PM

"How am I going to get over this?" "When am I going to feel better?"

These are typical questions I'll hear in therapy from clients trying to recover from a partner's affair. Perhaps like you, these clients want to be assured that in six months or...

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7 End-of-Relationship Scripts to Help You Call It Quits

(0) Comments | Posted October 1, 2014 | 10:57 AM

Whether you're thinking about leaving a long-term marriage or a shorter-term relationship, breaking the news to your partner is rarely easy. Maybe you've been indecisive for months or years but you can't find the right words to tell your partner the relationship is well past its expiration date. Could be...

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6 Reasons Your Ex Hates You and What You Can Do About It

(6) Comments | Posted September 28, 2014 | 5:05 PM

You tried taking the high road during your divorce. You didn't badmouth him to the kids. You didn't tell her parents what an awful daughter they raised. You refrained from bashing him to his boss. You didn't slash her tires. You behaved like a grown-up. For the most part. There...

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5 Ways to Behave Like a Grown-Up Through Your Midlife Divorce

(1) Comments | Posted September 21, 2014 | 10:56 AM

If you're going through midlife divorce -- or have gone through it -- you're not alone.

Midlife divorce is skyrocketing. And the reasons for that are many. Chiefly, most of us are looking at longer lifespans than our ancestors and we're not willing to live out those lives in complacent...

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To My Sons: 20 Lessons for a Meaningful Life (That I Wish I Knew When I Was Your Age)

(1) Comments | Posted August 30, 2014 | 9:33 AM

Author and artist Austin Kleon writes that when people give advice, they're really just talking to themselves in the past. I'll buy that. And by midlife, there's plenty of the past to draw from in the advice department. Because there are no do-overs (and how we sometimes wish there were),...

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The 5 Musts of a Sane Divorce

(1) Comments | Posted August 23, 2014 | 1:10 PM

I had a lovely lunch this week with an old friend, Alix, who's divorced and remarried. As girls will do, we turned the conversation to the personal. "Marriage," Alix commented, "has become a throwaway. People just seem to toss it aside when it doesn't work for them anymore." But as...

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It's Not Always About You (and 4 Other Revelations For A Happier Life)

(1) Comments | Posted August 19, 2014 | 3:47 PM

We were enjoying a gorgeous, New England day at the beach recently when the wind suddenly picked up. In the blink of an eye, our umbrella decided to have its own fun and unleashed itself from its sandy hold.

The beach was not overly crowded so the closest people...

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The Fear Factor: 5 Ways to Know If Your Relationship Is Scary

(2) Comments | Posted August 17, 2014 | 4:08 PM

A recent report on NPR told the story of red deer who still refuse to cross the Czech-German border even though the electrified fences that once stood there have been deactivated. Researchers explained that fawns follow their mothers for the first year and, because the mothers avoided the fences, so...

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Dear Sons: Marry Your Best Friend (and 7 Other Crucial Steps to Wedded Bliss)

(27) Comments | Posted August 5, 2014 | 11:44 AM

It's shocking that my oldest son is now the age I was when I married his dad -- 23. Shocking because it's beyond me that, 1) he could already be that age, and 2) that I would marry so young knowing what I know now.

My two younger sons aren't...

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Why Facebook Is The Ideal Over-50 Community

(0) Comments | Posted July 21, 2014 | 6:30 PM

Facebook. Love it, hate it or in-between, it's hard to stay away from. I've heard lots of complaining recently about Facebook's new algorithms -- whatever they or that may be. Clearly, I don't know much about how Facebook works, but I do know nothing in recent history has changed the...

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What Every Argument You've Ever Had Is REALLY About

(0) Comments | Posted July 7, 2014 | 5:50 PM

Most days, I can name a few reasons to be angry at my guy, The Spaniard. Truly. We've been through seemingly endless challenges -- some self-created and others lobbed at us by an invisible, arbitrary all-star pitcher -- and there are many times I've asked myself why, oh why, did...

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7 Undeniable Truths About Home Renovations and Love

(0) Comments | Posted June 23, 2014 | 1:45 PM

Almost two years ago, my guy and I began a huge home renovation project of an old, New England farmhouse. Down-to-the-studs, total-revamp-of-the-original-house-we-purchased huge. Walls and staircases were moved. Bathrooms and closets were created. Ceilings were raised. Rooms were expanded, collapsed or merged. Huge-huge.

The project has dragged on for what...

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Re-Spinning Splitting: Why Divorce Needs a Good Publicist

(1) Comments | Posted June 9, 2014 | 3:28 PM

No one tells you not to graduate high school or get married or have kids. No one tells you that you shouldn't exercise, eat right, save for retirement, or pay your mortgage on time. Or that you shouldn't learn more, read more or strive for that next rung on the...

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What's Wrong With Girls? Apparently Everything

(0) Comments | Posted May 26, 2014 | 9:26 AM

Thoughtful parents everywhere are fighting to save their daughters from the cruelest of villainesses, Low Self-Esteem. And she's a formidable opponent no matter what protective parents do to disarm her. Why? Because from the time girls get their first Barbie dolls, the insidious message of what a sought-after woman looks...

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The Real Reason Over Half of Women Say They Divorced in Midlife

(27) Comments | Posted May 19, 2014 | 2:28 PM

It's no secret that midlife or "gray" divorce is skyrocketing. And, according to the AARP, 66 percent of these divorces -- which have doubled since 1990 -- are initiated by women. But the numbers, without any narrative, are just numbers. They don't tell us why so many women, seemingly in...

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Conscious Uncoupling Starts With Unconscious Coupling (And I Don't Mean Drunken Hook-Ups)

(5) Comments | Posted March 28, 2014 | 3:30 PM

If it's even possible you haven't heard, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin (a movie star and rock star, respectively, if you're not familiar) announced their divorce this week after a respectable 10 years of marriage. Country music's Trace Adkins and his wife are also calling it quits after 17 years....

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4 Things I Know for Sure About Choosing Midlife Divorce

(0) Comments | Posted March 24, 2014 | 2:10 PM

I became a front line expert on midlife divorce when my own marriage came tumbling down. There I was, in my mid-40s, trying to make sense of the dissolution of a nearly 25-year union that had produced three amazing kids. I've also witnessed dozens of midlife divorces in my psychotherapy...

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The Phase of Raising Tough Kids

(0) Comments | Posted March 6, 2014 | 4:28 PM

My mother's lifelong friend, Mrs. Ryan -- and that's what we called her -- was like a second mother to my sister and me. She raised four kids of her own, three of whom were older than us. When my mother would lament some new challenge with her own children,...

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