THE BLOG

Fresh Cheeks

04/04/2010 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Cheeks...they are all the rage. Cheeks are the new black. Everyone is getting "The Cheeks". If you don't have "The Cheeks", then you just don't have...cheeks. The use of facial fillers such as Juvederm, Sculptra, Restylane, Radiesse, and Collagen have become the short answer to the long question, "Why must we age?" New York Magazine did an in-depth report on The New Face, which is the dire attempt to bring your old face back, the face you had when you were young, rather than the tragically obvious face-lift. Face-lifts are sooo last decade. Fillers are what's happening, and everyone is doing it. But, like everything else...people are getting addicted. I can see getting addicted to drugs...since I did, but just never was good at needles. If they could only make "The Cheeks" in a pill form, then you can be rest assured, I would look like any of these lovely people.

The lovely Duchess of York (does she still retain that title after hawking Weight Watchers) has, what appears to be, a lovely fresh batch of cheeks.
The lovely Duchess of York...(does she still retain that title after hawking Weight Watchers) have a lovely fresh batch of cheeks.

This is as far as Priscilla Presley can open her mouth.
This is as far as Priscilla Presley can open her mouth.Ouch. I heard she used motor oil or something scary like that.

Donatella Versace did cheeks, lips, neck, up, down, in, out.
Donatella Versace is cheeks, lips, neck, breasts, up, down, in, out.

With all the talking Nancy Pelosi does...she needs the cheeks plenty to keep the jowls from flapping.
With all the talking Nancy Pelosi does...she needs the cheeks plenty.

I'm just sayin'...
I'm just sayin'...

There were times on the campaign trail that my sister Vivian and I would say..."She must have had the cheeks...she looks fabulous."
There were times on the campaign trail that my sister Vivian and I would say..."She must have had the cheeks...she looks fabulous."

I know, I know...Mickey Rourke is beyond "just" the cheeks...
I know, I know...Mickey Rourke is beyond the cheeks...but can you just...

The Cheeks plenty.
It's not just the pancake make-up here...with Oprah it was cheeks and clearly a neck suck-out.

Kabbalah Cheeks.
Call it what you will...but I call it Kaballah Cheeks

Yowza McGee.
Yowza McGee

I love, love, love Jessica Lange, but...
I love Jessica Lange...but seeing her on the Emmys was very upsetting.

Oy.
Melanie Griffith fotz.

Oy vey iz meer.
Oy vey iz meer...Megala. Cut it out.

One cannot do a piece on The New Face without drawing attention to this thing.
One cannot do a piece on The New Face without drawing attention to this face. New is an understatement.