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Abe Gurko Headshot

Haute Couture? Not So Sure

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Boy, am I glad I am not a socialite or one of these ladies-who-lunch that have to wear Haute Couture in order to justify my existence. Pawing through the images from this week's 2010 Spring Couture shows, it is hard to understand why some of these designers even bother. Naturally, there are choices galore at Chanel, Armani Prive, Christian Dior and even Stephane Rolland (major improvement this outing, click for last season's yikes). You really have to be uber-fabulous and have even more uber-fabulous places to go in order to justify some of these eccentric pieces of art to frolic about in. Surely you can skip prancing around the Lower East Side, Soho or the Meatpacking District. Ready-to-wear will suffice for most Manhattan neighborhoods. And while I am at it, even lunch on Madison and some shopping at Bergdorf Goodman, you can get away with off-the-rack plenty. The world of make believe, where Haute Couture serves as the icing on the cake of a fairy take life is a place that few get the chance to venture to. I would love to be a fly on the wall at a fitting at Christian Dior or Chanel. Karl Lagerfeld and John Galliano are so hilarious, that the experience must be amazing. But, then you have these other clowns designers making things that I just cannot understand. Who on Earth would want to go through fittings, etc, to end up looking like a garbage bag in come cases...or worse...uninteresting? Here are a few ditties from the designers that I coincidentally trashed featured last season that made me say..."I Mean...What?!?"

Givenchy's avalanche of feathers is one way to cover the baby bump.

Birds of a feather...who's wearing this? No starlet I know of.

This is a bit too Vampira for me. Yes, drama is one thing, but Lisa Marie in Ed Wood is something else.

Could this get any weirder? Sure...add feathers at the neck.

Alexander Vauthier loves his shoulder stories. You have the silhouette of a friggen bat in this get up. Hack off the ears and there you go. And if you do that at the me a it before the show. And (B) this makes her hips look big.

This is reminiscent of that Tavi hat from the Christian Dior show.

Couture for the plus-size princess...I get it.

And can everyone stop designing specifically for Lady Gaga? "Can you please remove your label, so I can see right through you?"

Maison Martin Margiela is hell bent on making Lady Gaga's freakin' wedding dress. Fotz.

And what, you're supposed to wear this get up with one of those lesbian hairdos where one side is shaved and other side is a pageboy?

Yoo hoo....these ladies eat lunch on Earth.


Hey, dingleberry, next time take that schmatta off the display rack.

Anne Valerie Hash is smoking something if she thinks rich matrons wants to pay top dollar for this ensemble, when Top Shop is going global.

Or this.

And surely, she is not going to ask the Shah to sit for a fitting of this look.

Gustavo Lins...yikes. And (B) Leave us men out of it...we had a great showing the past two weeks. We're fine without this nonsense.

Look at the hem on this? Don't tell me, this was in the notes: "It's all about deconstructionism". That story is so old...and does not belong in Haute Couture...I want those petites mains to get cracking.


Visit: I MEAN...WHAT?!?