11/07/2011 10:30 pm ET Updated Jan 02, 2012

Wanna Sponsor Kim Kardashian's Divorce?

Here's my question. Not, why did they get married in the first place? Rather, will Kim rake in more money from the divorce than what she netted from the wedding? And if so, which ding-dong companies are lining up to sponsor the divorce? Will Range Rover provide cars to get her to the court proceedings? Surely there is a fashion brand that wants to sponsor her butt for when she goes on the stand and boo-hoos about their "irreconcilable differences". Though that is a perfect opportunity for Kardashian Kollection @ Sears, however what judge would not frown on a weepy bride wearing a skin-tight, leopard-print Hoochie Mama dress? I have one thing to say, well, more than one, but, here goes: Shame on everyone for questioning gays for wanting to get married while straight people like Kris and Kim make a mockery of the institution of marriage. It is quite fitting that the split happened on Halloween because it was a cold day in hell that two heat-seeking missiles or, if you prefer, money-grubbing publicity hounds get to concoct a sham marriage designed for personal financial gain and monopolize the top stories in the news. Breaking Newzzz as it were.
Kris Humphries said he was blindsided by the split and garbled, "I am committed to this marriage and everything this covenant represents." Operative word "covenant" since he actually got into bed with the three Witches of Eastwick, rather just one solitary wife. Now that virtually every moment of the Kim Kardashian's life is committed to being on-camera, there is no "there there" when it comes to happily ever after. Imagine what goes on behind (get it) closed doors at the Kardashian Kastle. I'd love to be a fly on the wall to hear the conversations leading up to Kim filing for divorce while Kris was not suspecting a thing. "Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and caldron bubble." Kim reminds me of the Golden Calf and the idolatry of the Jews, freed from slavery in the dessert. So too is our moronic public that follows Kim's every move. Those who fawn over her every Tweet will no doubt sob at the prospect of Poor Little Kim's conundrum as to whether she should return the two million dollar engagement ring to Kris?
Kim, Kris and that mother Kris Jenner are the newest entries to the Gross Baboon - Hall of Fame. One cannot help thinking that all of this is so calculated, that there is not a genuine bone in this ilk's bodies, hence they can line up alongside all the past recipients of this exclusive club of ne'er-do-wells.  Frankly, that mother should lay low for a while because a lot of people were duped in this silly fairy tale wedding scenario. Fairy tale indeed. He may just as well be a fairy and her tail is as so over.

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