What Men Won't Be Wearing Next Spring

06/30/2010 10:14 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

The Spring 11 shows came to a close in Paris, as is the case in Milan, there were great, sexy, safe collections sprinkled in with those few designers that love... and are committed to... Manzies. Naturally, the free spirits of Paris saw more mandals, more drama and sadly, more quirky man-hats. The Paris Manzie Report ends by showing a few looks that could have been edited out... had they hired me.

Can someone please tell Damir Doma that we are talking Spring? What's with the oversized rug-turned-Burka-thingie?"

Acne can't possibly think that a motorcycle hot pant (for men with skinny legs) is going to fly. Show me the Butch Daddy who can pull that off.

Yes, Agnes B. makes great staples for years, but what's with showing what they wore on Bastille Day 1789.

Not sure how I feel about the empire waist jacket buttons by Dunhill. Feel free to chime in.

Overall, loved the Paul Smith show, but men (if that is one) will not want to wear a tied blouse. Z Zegna learned that the hard way last year (below).

See what I mean? Oy.

What is this Dior Homme part blazer part Bat Girl Cape?

I know Raf Simons is an "It" boy, but I pity the wanna be"It" boy who tries to wear these shorts around town.

Pink shorts is one bad idea, but head to toe hot pink/raspberry is another. I don't think this would even work in women's wear.

Walter Van Beirendonck loves bears. But I call this collection Deconstructing Butch.

Van Beirendonck was also compelled to show a 4-tiered skirt-let on top of already a dizzying print story. Fotz.

There are plenty more No-Way's from the recent Milan and Paris Men's Shows to peruse, please click here: