On Providing Birth Control for Middle Schoolers

Congratulations, Portland, Maine, for voting to provide birth control and counseling about sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) to middle schoolers. You are no longer a victim of the generational chasm between adults and teenagers. You've admitted what so many deny: teens are sexually active, and we need to help them stay safe and make smart choices.

No matter how innocent we want middle schoolers to be, the truth is that girls and boys aged 11, 12, 13, and 14 years are hooking up, performing oral sex, and having intercourse. Not all of them are, but some of them, and if one student isn't, his or her friends or classmates certainly are. To anyone who disagrees, here's a reality check:

"One in eight youth are sexually experienced, having engaged in intercourse, oral sex or both before the age of 14," the Journal of Adolescent Health reported in 2006. According to the Project Connect study, supported by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention:

* "9 percent reported ever having sexual intercourse...and 8 percent ever had oral sex (active or receptive)."
* "Of those who reported intercourse, 36 percent were age 11 or younger at first sex, 27 percent were 12, 28 percent were 13, and 9 percent were 14 or older."
* "Alarmingly, 43 percent of sexually experienced participants reported multiple sex partners."

Note that more girls and boys had sex at age 11 than age 12, at age 13 than age 14. If this data doesn't convince you, here are a few more findings. These examples may not be about intercourse, but they illuminate the over-sexed landscape in which girls and boys are growing up today.

One of the girls in Restless Virgins had her first sexual experience in sixth grade -- with sex dice. One die listed body parts (neck, lips) and another listed actions (lick, suck); all she had to do was roll and follow the instructions.

Last October, Tesco, the U.K. mega store, was forced to pull a pole-dancing kit from the toys and games section of its Web site, frequented by moms, dads, and, most importantly, young girls and boys. The toy came in a pink plastic tube, had featured bubble letters and a Barbie-type character, and said, "Unleash the sex kitten inside."

And just recently, we heard that the latest bar mitzvah gift is a blowjob at the back of the bus on the way to the DJ party.

It's all startling to us, too, and we're the ones who just spent over two years immersed in teenage life, listening to guys brag about their sexual conquests and girls convince themselves that they really did want to give that guy -- who didn't call or like her enough -- oral sex. But there's a difference between being startled and being in denial.

Some opposing the Portland decision argue that eleven-year-olds should not be given birth control without a parent's consent. It's a fuzzy line. Of course parents should be involved in their children's health care. Of course they should know whether or not their sons and daughters are having sex. It's easy to tell adults to talk with teens about sex, but it's another thing to actually do it.

The generational chasm we mentioned above is very real and very wide. We get it: a mother may not want to admit that her 12-year-old daughter is having sex in her boyfriend's basement after school. But that mother needs to know this is going on. So what about girls and boys whose parents don't know -- or don't want to face -- their children's sex lives?

Thank goodness for Portland, Maine.

Providing birth control to sexually active middle schoolers is a crucial step. Condoms and the pill don't protect against STDs, but they will prevent girls from getting pregnant and lower the risk of transmitting many diseases. Providing counseling is just as critical. As we discovered, teenagers know about STDs and condoms. They've had sex ed. They're familiar with the Rolodex of ramifications, and younger girls and boys need to be, too. And what all of them need is education about the emotional consequences of their sexual behavior.

How will you feel after giving a guy, who's not your boyfriend or even your friend, oral sex?

Do you really want to hook up with those two guys, at the same time, while another friend watches? You do? Okay, why?

These are tough questions, but they're not asked enough, if at all. Girls and boys are coming of age in a culture that's saturated by sex. They're affected by this culture, and they need the tools to make the right decisions. This isn't about religion or moral judgment. This is about protecting young people who are already engaged in sexual behavior. Thankfully, girls and boys in Portland, Maine, will now have access to birth control and counseling, and therefore be more equipped to make smarter and safer decisions about their sexuality. It's time for other school districts to wake up and take notice.

Comments

[dandjus]

Then Child Protective Services and/or the court system. Let's protect these kids--not enable them. The mistake of 11 year olds having sex should not be treated with a pill. Much more effort is required--much more love.

[BRUMALIA]

Alarming statistics!But a rational move on the part of the Portland School Board in providing birth control and counseling to middle schoolers.Yes! This will be a controversial issue for decades,involving parents,religious organizations and of course the schools, regarding the teaching of sex and the morality of the school boards.

[StokeyBob]

The Unacknowledged Holocaust

Back in the 60’s the Federal Government came into the public schools and brainwashed us as little children with the message that the children we were about to have were unwanted because the population was rising so fast. They launched a program called, “Zero Population Growth”. They pushed Family Planning and birth control pills. Now they call the same programs, "Safe Sex" but the results are the same. I think you and I both know that you only have to trick people for their few child bearing years and there is no going back.

Many of us never had a say in the future of our unborn.

I am the result of two living cells. One from each of my parents. They are the result of two living cells, one from each of their parents. I wasn't just born. I am a continuation of life. I am a living thing that reaches back into time perhaps 400 million years and the result of billions of joining of pairs of cells. It is possible that if you were to follow my cells back to my parent’s cells and beyond that my family tree touches every living thing here on earth. That is if we limit ourselves to believing life was created here on earth. If it rained down from the immensity of the universe it could reach back into that immensity of time and space, and who knows what relationships and who knows what species.

My family line succeeded, at least until I came up against the Federal Government and their plan to control the population.

I have seen the Federal Government do little else to control the population.

The open border, United States laws only apply to some, is a serious slap in the face. No, not a slap in the face, it reaches well beyond that. Maybe back to the beginning of time and stretch to the bounds of the universe.

[BlackJAC]

And yet you're still unwilling to adopt any of these accidental pregnancies. Anybody who's truly pro-life means increased access to contraceptives.

[suki21693]

Heaven knows that giving children birth control is easier than actually supervising their behavior.

[Blackspeare]

"And just recently, we heard that the latest bar mitzvah gift is a blowjob at the back of the bus on the way to the DJ party."

Wait a minute----all I got was a fountain pen----geez!!!!!

[marko77]

Kids having sex at age 11. Sure, that makes sense. And now that 11 year olds are having sex, they need birth control. More common sense. Are we a fucked up country or what??

[jnuno]

The statistics sited are alarming and should move parents to invest more time with their children and educate them about sex. And that is appropriate because parents have the authority and responsibility to address and decide on all matters that involve their children; whether they be health related matters, financial, what they watch on television, or sex.

The school board crossed the line because the program goes beyond sex education. The program usurps the parents’ authority and responsibility all the while encourages children to engage in more sex because the unsupervised access to birth control will be interpreted as an approval of the act. Increased sexual activity logically increases the risk of STD and pregnancy which is ironic since these are the very things the program and its proponents claim to want to prevent. And that is not something to celebrate.

[unitron]

"The program...­encourages children to engage in more sex because the unsupervised access to birth control will be interpreted as an approval of the act."

And the mandating of seat belts and air bags is interpreted as tacit approval of reckless driving. Yeah, right.

They don't need any encouragement, they're doing it already. Or do you see unwanted pregnancies as an improvement on the situation?

[WaterRat]

I don't believe it's a case of boys and girls maturing earlier than they ever did.
Years ago, it was the same then as it has always been. It's just that most everyone was able to hide what they did, 10,11, 12 or 18.
Today, sex is more than a whisper. Young pregnant girls are not spirited out of town like they used to be.Instead, they parade proudly down the sidewalks showing off their roung bellys with pride.
What's missing is the moral and common sense factor. Only a few decades ago, it was not unusual for both girls and boys to enter marriage as virgins.

[unitron]

"Only a few decades ago, it was not unusual for both girls and boys to enter marriage as virgins."

Nor was it nearly as usual as people liked to pretend.

[geezermom]

If you think this is acceptable, what will you do when the 14 year-old 8th grader is charged as a sex offender for activities with an 11-year-old 6th grader, and s/he has to register as s sex offender under the Adam Walsh Act? You may think this program is progressive and real, but what you are really doing is setting up these kids for serious consequences in delinquency court, and if it becomes trendy in other states, in adult criminal court. Our kids and their parents are sadly lacking in information and education as to what the CRIMINAL LAW says, and what the CRIMINAL LAW can do to youth who engage in this activity. In Wisconsin, an aggessive prosecutor (and every jurisdiction has them) can charge out not only the participants, but their parents for failing to prevent a sexual assault. And waht about the laws that have mandatory reporting when a child has been a victim of a sexual assault? 11 year-olds asking the health clinic for condoms aren't looking for sturdy water balloons. In many jurisdictions, laws require this be reported to law enforcement or human services.

Instead of lauding this program, we should be asking ourselves what we as a society expect of our youth, and legislate accordingly. This is a recipe for a complete disaster for these kids.

[justagirl]

11 year-olds asking the health clinic for condoms aren't looking for sturdy water balloons. In many jurisdictions, laws require this be reported to law enforcement or human services.

Exactly the point of this legislation. The 11 -14 year old would have to approach someone with the acknowledgment that they were having (or were considering) sexual activity. I applaud the school district.

[drgrph]

Anyone with half of a brain knows that this will likely increase unwanted pregnancies. While counterintuitive, there is a reasonable basis for this conclusion.

Unless in denial, how responsible is your daughter? Okay, you've raised yours well - so how about the other girls?

As a pharmacist I can tell you that unless the oral contraceptive is given on a routine basis pregnancies can (and will) occur. Tell me, how good are you with complying to the medications regimens you've used in your adulthood. I'm 50, a pharmacist, and I STILL have lapses resulting in missed doses.

This board's approval of the contraceptive policy, in my opinion, is both cruel and may very well result in some ruined lives. In the rush to protect the 'straw man' - the child other than mine who is sexually active (because we know that every parent believes they raised their children with proper morals) - it is my contention they have done the children of their school district a profound disservice.

Admittedly I don't have an answer if the level of promiscuity is as polled (and it very well may be). But throwing pills and rubbers at the problem is not the answer. Maybe the money would be better spent on parental education.

I certainly wouldn't allow either of my daughters to be placed in a situation that could prove problematic - sexual or otherwise. To this day it haunts me that I couldn't protect my oldest from acquaintance rape in our home. I'm surely not going to let my youngest go over to "Bobby's" basement unless assured of proper supervision.

p.s. And I do practice what I preach. Twice my youngest sought to go to the Jersey Shore to camp overnight with several boy and girl friends. Needless to say she didn't go.

[RevMetheus]

Heh, get parents to go back to school for sex education in your district. Go ahead try and schedule something where 100% of the parents (or even 1 parent for each family) is willing to come in, sit down, and be told that their kid may be sexually active. Get them to go home that night and have a frank, honest discussion about sex and birth control.

If you can do this for even 1 year, this program wouldnt have happened. But you cant get most parents to even come in for a Parent-Teacher night so they can see what their school district is about.

Sad about your kid and the acquaintance rape, but you spend the whole thread talking about keeping your kid safe at school and at freinds' houses and not going anywhere and it happened IN YOUR HOME!! Probably after school and before you got home from work, right? So you should obviously just quit your job to keep your kids safe, heck, shouldnt everyone? Not realistic, right?

[justagirl]

I certainly wouldn't allow either of my daughters to be placed in a situation that could prove problematic - sexual or otherwise.

Your daughters will be seduced and cajoled and enticed and you will not always be there.

[gardengoddess]

I know a woman who has a 13 year old daughter is middle school (grades 7-9 here). The girl was attending a school in an upper middle-class area. Of the 4-5 girls she was chumming around with, she was the ONLY virgin in the group! The other girls were putting immense pressure on her to have sex. When the mother found out, she immediately pulled the girl out of that school and put her in a local private school.

The thing is, girls are maturing PHYSICALLY earlier than they used to. There is much evidence that the hormones used in the food we eat - particularly beef and chicken - are partially to blame for this.

Sadly, while these girls may LOOK grown up, emotionally and mentally, they're still little girls. Which is the greater trauma for them: Using birth control methods - just in case - or being 12 years old and pregnant?

[MNmommy]

Where is the evidence? I'm just curious, my grandmother achieved menarch at 12, my mom at 11, my husband's mom at 11, me at 11 and my daughter at 11. Seems pretty damned steady to me.

Why do things like hormones in food get dragged into these topics all the time? Really, I'm just curious.

Weren't kids marrying at 15-16 just 120 years ago or so?

[dadw5boys]

Where is the evidence?

[tlcutter]

Maine needs to address the problem they have with child molestation and rape. Is it not illegal to have sex w/ an 11 or 12 yr old. Should that not be the overriding issue?

[RevMetheus]

Are you going to send 13 year olds to prison for sleeping with a 12 year old?

Or do you, like others, only see adolescent girls as potential victims for perverted adults and not as sexual beings that may actively look for sex with peers?

That seems to speak more to your mindset than to reality.

[justagirl]

Is it not illegal to have sex w/ an 11 or 12 yr old. ?

Only if you are grownup.

[jsarets]

Re-reading this article, I'm not sure if the schools are actually giving girls the pill. It just says birth control. I disagree with schools giving girls under 18 the pill without parental consent, and I'm fairly progressive.

However, there should be free condoms provided at middle and high schools. It should be made absolutely clear to all boys and girls that the condoms are available and that nobody will tell their parents if they ask for them.

The pill is crossing the line because it's a major health decision with potential side-effects. Condoms are not only very effective against both pregnancy and STDs, protecting both partners, but they pose no health risks (latex allergies aside).

On the other hand, it should also be made clear to the children that the only way to be 100% protected from pregnancy and STDs is abstinence. I'm adamantly opposed to abstinence-only sex education, but we should be strongly advocating for abstinence.

Of course, the best way for children to learn about sexuality is at home from their parents. However, not all parents are comfortable with their own sexuality, let alone their children's, and children do pick up on this. Some children have every reason to believe that their parents would not be open to discussing sex.

So while I don't suggest that schools add the Kama Sutra to their curriculum, I do expect that they provide a baseline service for children to learn about safe sex and obtain condoms without parental involvement or notification. I hope that parents would further elaborate on this education, but we shouldn't rely on it.

The bottom line is this: the goal of our educational system is to prepare our children for the real world. If they don't learn that using condoms can be a matter of life or death, then the schools aren't doing their job.

[lisakaz]

I have a problem with birth control pills being given to young girls too, given the hormones may affect these girls quite variously (and who knows if any will smoke too).

I had a stint with them and when I went off them my body wasn't normal for about a year afterward. And I was an adult. When I entered a LTR later on, I never went on them and the guy I was with didn't feel I should take them either. He seemed concerned about the side effects also.

[SkippyJones]

I applaud you for your level-headed comment that speaks to the complexity of this issue. i am quite progressive in my politics as well, and agree that dispensing birth control pills without parental consent or notification is well past the line. i would be just amazed if this can withstand legal scrutiny since birth control is a prescription medication, and parents are in legal charge of their children's health. i do not know what the drug interactions are with birth control etc. but as you note their are substantial side-effects. it is just unbelievably irresponsible practice to leave a child's parents out of a major health decision, and I simply cannot believe that it could or will withstand legal challenge.

[Marilyn Ferdinand]

"Condoms and the pill don't protect against STDs,"

Um, condoms DO protect against STDs.

[MNmommy]

Not HPV, anyways not all the time.

[BlackJAC]

A bit of irony to put this all into perspective:

In Biblical times, a person was considered a legal adult at the age of 13 due to the average life expectancy being 40.

[eddiestardust]

That was 2000-5000 or so years ago...life is
different today.

Folks kindof got MARRIED you know?

[BlackJAC]

My point remains: social mores are always in flux. "Teenager" is actually a recent concept in human history, dating back only to the 1950s. Even the material that used to get Lenny Bruce thrown in jail is now standard in standup comedy.