On Providing Birth Control for Middle Schoolers

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Congratulations, Portland, Maine, for voting to provide birth control and counseling about sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) to middle schoolers. You are no longer a victim of the generational chasm between adults and teenagers. You've admitted what so many deny: teens are sexually active, and we need to help them stay safe and make smart choices.

No matter how innocent we want middle schoolers to be, the truth is that girls and boys aged 11, 12, 13, and 14 years are hooking up, performing oral sex, and having intercourse. Not all of them are, but some of them, and if one student isn't, his or her friends or classmates certainly are. To anyone who disagrees, here's a reality check:

"One in eight youth are sexually experienced, having engaged in intercourse, oral sex or both before the age of 14," the Journal of Adolescent Health reported in 2006. According to the Project Connect study, supported by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention:

* "9 percent reported ever having sexual intercourse...and 8 percent ever had oral sex (active or receptive)."
* "Of those who reported intercourse, 36 percent were age 11 or younger at first sex, 27 percent were 12, 28 percent were 13, and 9 percent were 14 or older."
* "Alarmingly, 43 percent of sexually experienced participants reported multiple sex partners."

Note that more girls and boys had sex at age 11 than age 12, at age 13 than age 14. If this data doesn't convince you, here are a few more findings. These examples may not be about intercourse, but they illuminate the over-sexed landscape in which girls and boys are growing up today.

One of the girls in Restless Virgins had her first sexual experience in sixth grade -- with sex dice. One die listed body parts (neck, lips) and another listed actions (lick, suck); all she had to do was roll and follow the instructions.

Last October, Tesco, the U.K. mega store, was forced to pull a pole-dancing kit from the toys and games section of its Web site, frequented by moms, dads, and, most importantly, young girls and boys. The toy came in a pink plastic tube, had featured bubble letters and a Barbie-type character, and said, "Unleash the sex kitten inside."

And just recently, we heard that the latest bar mitzvah gift is a blowjob at the back of the bus on the way to the DJ party.

It's all startling to us, too, and we're the ones who just spent over two years immersed in teenage life, listening to guys brag about their sexual conquests and girls convince themselves that they really did want to give that guy -- who didn't call or like her enough -- oral sex. But there's a difference between being startled and being in denial.

Some opposing the Portland decision argue that eleven-year-olds should not be given birth control without a parent's consent. It's a fuzzy line. Of course parents should be involved in their children's health care. Of course they should know whether or not their sons and daughters are having sex. It's easy to tell adults to talk with teens about sex, but it's another thing to actually do it.

The generational chasm we mentioned above is very real and very wide. We get it: a mother may not want to admit that her 12-year-old daughter is having sex in her boyfriend's basement after school. But that mother needs to know this is going on. So what about girls and boys whose parents don't know -- or don't want to face -- their children's sex lives?

Thank goodness for Portland, Maine.

Providing birth control to sexually active middle schoolers is a crucial step. Condoms and the pill don't protect against STDs, but they will prevent girls from getting pregnant and lower the risk of transmitting many diseases. Providing counseling is just as critical. As we discovered, teenagers know about STDs and condoms. They've had sex ed. They're familiar with the Rolodex of ramifications, and younger girls and boys need to be, too. And what all of them need is education about the emotional consequences of their sexual behavior.

How will you feel after giving a guy, who's not your boyfriend or even your friend, oral sex?

Do you really want to hook up with those two guys, at the same time, while another friend watches? You do? Okay, why?

These are tough questions, but they're not asked enough, if at all. Girls and boys are coming of age in a culture that's saturated by sex. They're affected by this culture, and they need the tools to make the right decisions. This isn't about religion or moral judgment. This is about protecting young people who are already engaged in sexual behavior. Thankfully, girls and boys in Portland, Maine, will now have access to birth control and counseling, and therefore be more equipped to make smarter and safer decisions about their sexuality. It's time for other school districts to wake up and take notice.

 
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- DRaymond I'm a Fan of DRaymond 66 fans permalink
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The decision by the school board requires the same parental consent for any medical treatment however the exact nature of the treatment is covered by confidentiality rules.

If I were on the school board I would be concerned that they might be unwitting enablers of a crime. Not all 13 year olds are necessarily having sex with other 13 year olds

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:06 AM on 10/19/2007
- Kundera I'm a Fan of Kundera 24 fans permalink

Kids are shooting up schools.
Maybe we should have schools teach gun safety.

No, lefties would not like that, it doesn't push their agenda.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:04 AM on 10/19/2007

Very stupid post.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:21 PM on 10/19/2007
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It couldn't hurt to have a class where a teacher explains that people who fetishize guns are dangerous, stupid assholes.

I have no problem with a class like that. In fact, take it a step further, and teach the children that only impotent, chickenshit cowards use guns to solve their problems.

Hurray, we're on the same page and our Agenda moves forward, crushing all in its path.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:53 PM on 10/19/2007

Liberals aren't usually the ones that love guns now are they? Conservatives love guns...

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:15 PM on 10/20/2007
- horseface I'm a Fan of horseface 5 fans permalink

My first reaction was, How Terrible! Kids this age may be biologically primed for sex, but their psyches surely are not! Remember when you were that age?

The lack of parental consent is not right, but the sad fact is many parents are delinquent. The school is faced with parental indifference, denial, brutality and neglect. A kid who has no adult guidance may seek to grow up fast, but instead finds him- or herself in a train wreck. Parents who are involved in their kid's lives probably won't be affected.

This last ditch policy reflects our unwillingness as a society to tackle root causes. We need creative approaches to cultural survival, but fall back on archaic dictates that simply cannot solve contemporary problems.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:58 AM on 10/19/2007
- Fuji I'm a Fan of Fuji 11 fans permalink

And what all of them need is education about the emotional consequences of their sexual behavior.

How will you feel after giving a guy, who's not your boyfriend or even your friend, oral sex?

Do you really want to hook up with those two guys, at the same time, while another friend watches? You do? Okay, why?

These are tough questions, but they're not asked enough, if at all.


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Ah, emotional consequences. Isn't that what abstinence is about? "You're not ready for the emotional consequences of having a sexual relationship right now."

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:58 AM on 10/19/2007
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No. Abstinence is about religious kooks pushing Jesus on kids as a way to get them to stop thinking about the boyfriends or girlfriends.

Abstinence is about abdicating responsibility, trying to pray away the real problems of the world.

Abstinence is about ignoring science and facts and attempting to solve problems through "faith."

No thanks.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:55 PM on 10/19/2007

No, but you sure have an attitude, now don't you? Look, when you get married and have kids then you can raise them as you like but don't force YOUR sense of morality or I should say
IMMORALITY on those who disagree with you.

Most probably YOU won't be so "Liberal" when you have a little girl!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:16 AM on 10/20/2007

1: voluntary forbearance especially from indulgence of an appetite or craving or from eating some foods
2 a: habitual abstaining from intoxicating beverages b: abstention from sexual intercourse

Abstinence is not about religious kooks (some might be,) pushing Jesus on anyone. You show me 1 parent in the US that does not start or at least include in the SEX conversaiton with a preteen or teenage that NOT having sex is probably your best alternative from a physical and physcological prespective and I think you have a parent not trying. I want my kids to know about sex at the appropriate time, AND I want them to understand that it brings potentially devestating consequences as well.

If you do not bring up not having sex is a perfectly acceptable­/understan­dable avenue during the preteen and teenage years then I think you are abdicating responsibility, as well as, you are telling your kid that there is something wrong with not having sex by leaving it out of the conversation. That is pretty weak...

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:59 PM on 10/22/2007
- Chris I'm a Fan of Chris 11 fans permalink

"Thankfully, girls and boys in Portland, Maine, will now have access to birth control and counseling, and therefore be more equipped to make smarter and safer decisions about their sexuality. It's time for other school districts to wake up and take notice."

I used to live in POrtland and let me tell you this decision by the school board does not suddnely provide them with access to Birth Control as you say above. In fact, on one of the busiest streets in the city, there is a Planned Parenthood Center with a large sign that can not be missed.

Also under curretn Governor Mama Baldacci's son Maine nwo has the DIRIGO health program so the kids would have access to contraceptives and counseling through their doctors or other medial professionals.

This decision by the school board (and not the the city as you seem to want to claim) only provided another access poitn and did not create anything knew accept additional funding on an already underfunded school system.

PS the young people already engaged in intercourse accoridng to the school was 9.

Maybe next portland school board will follow suit and open a room for illegal drugs to be enjoyed.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:42 AM on 10/19/2007
- RevMetheus I'm a Fan of RevMetheus 7 fans permalink

As a former resident, you know that it would be much more tough for a young person to go across town to the Planned Parenthood building, have to walk into that building in broad daylight on, as you say "one of the busiest streets in the city" and then have to go over their history and their parents notification info.

You seem to be all over the place, talking about how its just another access point (like we need LESS of those) but then talking absurdities about illegal drug rooms in schools.

As an aside, notice how Planned Parenthood's nearest school is the Catholic Girls School?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:40 PM on 10/19/2007

One question the media has not asked is what was the data/experiences that sent the school nurse to the school board? As a mother/grandmother of girls I am disturbed that this is needed, however as a nurse I feel something must be happening at that school district to drive this issue.

Dotti, RN

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:26 AM on 10/19/2007
- AmandaM I'm a Fan of AmandaM 3 fans permalink

Hi Dotti,

I caught a few minutes of the Today Show when they were covering this topic. I think the nurse in question had about 6 students in her middle school who came to her for birth control pills or contraceptives. Under the old rules, she wasn't allowed to give them out and she couldn't tell the parents what was going on because of doctor/patient confidentiality. I think the important thing to note here is that the school nurse can prescribe the pill, but that doesn't mean she will. Nor does it mean that she isn't explaining all of the possible consequences to the young girls who confide in her.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:05 PM on 10/19/2007

"There must be a bona fide "doctor-patient relationship" between individuals and a physician before any duty of confidentiality is created. Generally speaking, individuals must voluntarily seek advice or treatment from the doctor, and have an expectation that the communication will be held in confidence. This expectation of confidentiality does not need to be expressed. It is implied from the circumstan­ces."

I am assuming that the 'patients' have to go into much more detail then just requesting birth control, correct?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:11 PM on 10/22/2007
- Sparhawk I'm a Fan of Sparhawk 14 fans permalink

School children are not given aspirin or other over the counter medications without parental consent, yet they can receive contraceptive? Any body see the irony in this? This isn't about rights of the child, it's about pushing an agenda.

The data is overwhelming, and and even though shocking, should cause everyone reading it to sit up and take notice. Something should be done. But it's not the State's responsibility, it's the parents. We are giving the Government more ability to control our children and decide what is best for them. In the last 50 years when has that proven as a good idea??

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:25 AM on 10/19/2007

I've seen so many people blaming everything on parants so that's insane. The kids are not the parants thay have thier own free will, they are by this time thier own people. Parants can not be with thier children 24/7. That is a good thing - kids have to learn to think for themselves. That doesn't even begin to get into situations where the parents are virtually absentee. It is not a perfect world.

I think the people who tend to blame it on the parants either have no children or have perfect children.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:58 AM on 10/19/2007

Sorry, but the first teachers ARE PARENTS!
NOT EVERY KID has sex that early and gets pregnant!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:12 PM on 10/20/2007
- Fuji I'm a Fan of Fuji 11 fans permalink

Totally see the irony in it. Kids can't give each other a cough drop, but schools can push birth control. Weird.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:58 AM on 10/19/2007
- AmandaM I'm a Fan of AmandaM 3 fans permalink

In this particular district, parents have to give consent for the child to be treated in the school clinic. It's not like they just fork over whatever the kid asks for. I'm inclined to give the nurse who initiated this the benefit of the doubt. If she sees a valid reason to distribute contraceptives at her school, then who are we to tell her she's wrong? She's there. She knows the kids who are at risk. If this helps her (and the other school nurses) keep those kids from making even bigger mistakes, then I'm all for it.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:30 AM on 10/19/2007

the student needs parental consent to receive services, but the school is not required to inform the parent what services are being rendered. could be counseling, could be prescription medication. as the parent of a 16 year old, i'd want to know. the nurse, god bless her, in my daughter's school has 5 buildings to cover, and doesn't know my daughter or me. i do not like the idea of strangers prescribing medication to either of my children. this has nothing to do with children having sex, it has to do with strangers giving drugs to children - something we work very hard to teach them is wrong.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:53 PM on 10/19/2007

The parents need to be involved--plain and simple. A nurse should not make decisions for an 11 year old.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:18 PM on 10/19/2007
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