If you're like most people, sometimes you feel confident in your ability to handle life's challenges...
... and sometimes you want to curl up on a couch and watch Netflix, hoping the challenges toddle along and disappear.
When we feel low, we reach out to mentors. To friends. To teachers.
And in high school or even college, we turn to our favorite music heroes who remind us to "Imagine" or that the world should show us a little more "R-E-S-P-E-C-T."
Music has the unique ability to deliver important messages on the silver spoon of rhythm and melody. Next time you feel a bit shaky, or that life's just a little too hard in the moment, play these threesongs, and you'll feel a boost in your confidence. Might even put a smile on your face...
#1) Smoke Alarm by Carsie Blanton
The core of this playfully subversive song is "memento mori" -- a Latin term meaning "remember that you must die."
Morbid, I know. But it's actually always been a reminder to make every day above ground sacred and miraculous. Smoke Alarm reminds us to listen to our own passionate heart and gut instincts, not the voices of others...
"Why do you waste your time
thinking 'bout your reputation
Trying to meet an expectation
wonderin' what they're gonna say
When everyone you ever known
is headed for a headstone
I don't want to give the end away
but we're gonna die one day"
Wow, huh?
Can you remember all those times you held back? Didn't speak your truth. Didn't take the risks you wanted because you were afraid of what others would say.
What about times where you got stressed because you were heading into an interviewer, or a date (or wondering what to text him goodnight)?
The thing about confident people is that they allow their moods to be reliant on other people's approval.
They're not afraid to be controversial; they operate from their core truths, not public approval.
Remembering that you're going to die is one of the many ways that can help you release any limiting shackles you may have -- internal or external -- and become your most confident self.
#2) Son of Man by Phil Collins
Ah, Son of Man, what a classic.
With its rhythmic tribal tune how could you not enjoy it?
Now, yes, it's from Disney's Tarzan, not the keyboard of Beethoven, but its no less profound. Listen to the beginning verses:
"Oh, the power to be strong
And the wisdom to be wise
All these things will
come to you in time
On this journey that you're making
There'll be answers that you'll seek
And it's you who'll climb the mountains
It's you who'll reach the peak"
Simple, yet powerful.
It's a reminder that though all the answers may not be available to you right now, the journey will reveal the path.
Confident people understand that life is a quest, that not everything comes easily but they, with grit and determination, the new skills required to triumph will appear. As you listen to this song, remind yourself that you have the competence to turn opportunities into springboards into new achievements.
Confident people use this attitude to accomplish what they desire and so can you.
#3) Own Appeal by Oddisee
From pop to kids movies to hip hop -- inspiration to boost your confidence is everywhere.
Note how Tarzan of the jungle is echoed by this Tarzan of the hood -- "Not knowing what lies ahead but always knowing the deal"...
"I got a hunger for knowledge and I miss no meals
I stay high off life and I miss no pills
I'm addicted to the thrill of walking along the edge
Not knowing what lies ahead but always knowing the deal
I'm good with my decisions, the setbacks and gains
Is all a part of the game, I'm ready to spin the wheel
Whatever is in store, I'm ready for, for sure
With the attitude of wealth and the gratitude of the poor"
Confidence doesn't mean you have all the answers. That's bluster. That's wearing a mask. Confidence is humble. Though it may ride on the assuredness of "the attitude of wealth, it also stays open to the reality that the world often delivers what you need, thus "the gratitude of the poor"
True confidence means that though you may not know your next move yet, you've got the flexibility and resilience to handle life's arrows. You may not know what's ahead, but you "know the deal." You're not worried why he didn't text you back. Confidence means you are sure that when you're dealt cards, you'll figure out how to play them.
This song also illustrates how confident people think big. They "[walk] along the edge" outside their comfort zone because they're "addicted to the thrill" of challenge.
Challenge wakes you up. Reveals powers you didn't know you have.
It's only in challenge, in "the setbacks and gains" that they grow. And they walk in with equanimity because they know it's "all a part of the game."
So there you have it. Three songs that teach confidence.
Next time you hesitate before taking that next "risk" -- have a listen. Notice how these songs make you feel. You, too, might feel much more ready to "spin the wheel."
Best Selling Author, Emmy-Nominated Producer, Screenwriter and Entrepreneur, Adam Gilad leads a community of over 80,000 men and women on their quest to create love and a bold, inspired life. Having served as a Stanford Humanities Center Graduate Research Fellow and host of National Lampoon Radio, Adam blends a bracing mix of research, humor and global wisdom traditions to help men and women break through the habits blocking their ability to open into love and freedom.
He's a regular contributor to Vixen Daily in the Personal Development and Inspiration section.