Presidential candidate John McCain and running mate Sarah Palin attempted to manage the surprise endorsement of Barack Obama by Senator John McCain this past Thursday. McCain was dismissive of his 100% endorsement and even took a few shots at himself after the announcement.
"When all is said and done it's still just an endorsement," said the seemingly annoyed Senator to reporters during a campaign stop. "There are hundreds of endorsements out there but it's still up to the voters to decide. As for me I will be voting for the candidate I believe is best: Barack Obama. But I hope that voters will take that endorsement with a grain of salt and consider the source."
Barack Obama was clearly caught off guard by the endorsement that few Washington insiders saw coming. "What do you mean he endorsed me? That's fucking fucked up," said the usually unflappable front runner in front of several hundred Nuns that he was speaking to at the National Nun Convention.
But John McCain defended his controversial choice to skeptical followers: "I think Barack Obama will be an excellent leader. But that's my personal opinion. I hope that you all will disagree with me and put John McCain and Sarah Palin in the White House!" The crowd then cheered loudly before quickly falling into a confused murmur.
One supporter Joseph Frundel from Oliphant, Virginia was unphased by the endorsement. "The bottom line is, he's a war hero, Sarah is hot and I hate blacks so screw it. I'm not in anyway emotionally able to deal with change or too much new information at once." Mr. Frundel then walked off and fell into an open well laughing madly the whole way down.
Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin, sporting a brand new Prada jacket, kept her usual spunk and brassiness. "I believe in John McCain. And I will support him in his support of Barack Obama. But I will also do my darndest to win this election. People ask me how I can do both at once and I tell them "Because I say it with confidence and I look good on camera." The crowd then broke into loud high pitched cheers that quickly became shrieks. Several people were torn limb from limb. Only 32 fatalities were reported by relieved authorities.