06/04/2005 10:35 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Thank You for Your Answers...Except for the Scary Extremists

Okay, so I opened the door for some answers from W. Bush supporters and got some. Actually a bunch. First off, thank you for those of you who answered with some degree of sincerity and avoided nasty attacks and generalizations. We should after all treat each other as fellow citizens with respect and, dare I say, love. Except of course Bob Novak, who is a dick. Sorry Bob Novak Jr., but it is time to put on some Sex Pistols, enroll at a liberal arts school and rebel. Your Dad is Bob Novak for cripes sake.

Now my first question concerned the lack of any press that can be trusted by a clear majority of Americans. We used to have Cronkite and the NY Times as touchstones but due to assaults from the corporate owned networks we no longer have a Cronkite. And the NY Times suffers the misfortune -- for most of America -- of having "New York" in it's title which for someone in South Carolina might as well be called the "Devil Town Times."

Many recommended surveying different media outlets and sources and drawing my own conclusions. This is what I've done for years and I think that would qualify as close as you can get to a correct answer. I personally like The New Yorker. Sy Hersh is the last of the real reporters with inscrutable sources and a courageous nose for the truth. I also think a stew of CNN, ABC and a dash of Newsweek ain’t bad. For dessert I like Bill Moyers and some Howard Stern. But that's not for everyone.

Some of you argued that Rush Limbaugh is actually pretty critical of the Bush administration. You have to admit this is an argumentative point at best. Limbaugh is to Bush as TRL is to Christina Aguilera. And border security disputes aside, our portly and very troubled friend is a cartoon character (if there were a cartoon character called "Hatey the Hate Head.")

My next question was about Tom DeLay. I asked if anyone really considered him to be a good man. The answers I received shocked me with their clarity and unity. The answer was no. Wow. There is much hope for our nation. We actually all agree on something.

Now some people did utilize the age-old tactic of perspective blurring relativity by pointing out that Clinton lied under oath about a blow job and because of that aren't all politicians power hungry creeps? I don't agree. There are good people in office. Barbara Boxer is a tough good lady. She's not in the pocket of anyone. And Al Gore and John Kerry were so good that they slipped into the realm of boring and would have finished fourth and fifth to Anthony Fedorov in the American Idol voting.

There were of course some extremists who responded. Oh you sweet crazy extremists... One gentleman somehow found himself arguing that antiwar activists were responsible for the millions of senseless deaths suffered in Vietnam on all sides. This is a crispy kind of craziness that should not be microwaved in a plastic dish... Wow. Go watch Fog of War. The guy who designed the whole thing is on record as saying what pointless madness it was. Very difficult to argue with that. But I'm sure there are people out there who will jump into that pool anyway.

There were also five or six people who took offense at my use of the word "Pussy" in my piece. And one very left leaning fellow suggested I save it for my shrink as though I were confessing actual feelings about myself by using "liberal pussy." It's good to know that a total lack of irony or humor exists on all sides of the political spectrum. You are not alone, Alan Colmes.

So finally I say thank you (except for the nutball extremists) and would like to offer all the Republicans who gave a real shot at being reasonable a drink. If I were choosing the place it'd be Spaceland or the White Horse on Western. I'll assume your choice is Applebee's or the race-restricted country club. But anyway you slice it, a beer's a beer and my beer of choice is Talujak, an Iraqi beer from which all the profits go to the resistance.

See we're all the same.