THE BLOG
08/29/2013 10:43 am ET Updated Oct 29, 2013

Relax -- You Don't Have to Play With Miley's Teddy

The mainstream media, blogosphere and just about every other living organism on Earth is still foaming at the mouth about Miley Cyrus's Video Music Award performance this past Sunday Night. If you have had the misfortune of being in a coma, Miley dry humped Robin Thicke and teased her vajayjay (Oprah said it so I guess it's okay) with an elongated styrofoam finger (one of my favorite souvenirs) that you can buy at any Major League ballpark. I don't think Miley's intentions were to argue that America's favorite past time is sex, (hopefully we all know this) not baseball. I think what she intended to do was create more demand for her brand. And, for better or for worse, she did just that.

I have read dozens of articles and blogs that Miley is poisoning society. The image of Will Smith's family's astonished (it was a mili-second clip) reaction has gone viral. So what was Miley thinking? You can't really believe she wanted to orgasm on stage with Robin Thicke, the Blurred Line's mega-hitter. Is it possible that she knows sex sells? Or that child stars are a dime a dozen and she wants to stay relevant at the cost of spanking a big ole booty? Well, it's four days later and we are still talking about her. So is it mission accomplished, Miley?

In October of 2009, I took my daughter to see her in concert. A friend of mine gave us front row tickets so my daughter--who was 10--could see her "idol" of Hannah Montanna fame right up close. Miley was 16 at the time, I watched her ride (attached by strings) a motorcycle into air above the crowd. Girls screamed. She was charismatic and I got the hype. It was as evident then as it is now that this girl knows how to play a crowd. In reality, she wasn't so much a "wholesome girl" at 16 either. Miley was wearing high-cut leather shorts, the kind Ariel Moore in the 1984 blockbuster Footloose would hide in her bag when she left the house so that her father, the Reverend, didn't see them. Clearly, Miley was one step ahead of us because she was laying the foundation for her next act.

Miley might want to thank Seth McFarlane this year at tax time. Seth made Teddy Bears cool for adults (and kids like mine who convinced their mother it was actually a movie about Teddy Bear's) with his classic comedy "Ted." Miley probably thought if a Teddy Bear can hump a cash register, smoke weed, lay in bed with the hot Mila Kunis and bring in over $500 million worldwide at the box office, she can monetize that cute little bear too. Or, maybe she is taking a page from Gene Simmons of Kiss fame, who has amassed a fortune by leveraging his, "tongue brand."

Will we ever see Miley perform (not lip synced) a legendary montage like Justin Timberlake did at the VMA's? Most think not. But, despite not being a great singer, she is a talent. She has several mega-hits, including the topical, "We Can't Stop." I'm not certain that she can sing any of them Acapella. And, it certainly would be tough to do so with her tongue hanging out half way down her neck.

After her performance, Miley sent a validation tweet noting the 306,000 tweets per minute were sent out during her act, more than the Superbowl she added. Was it an "FU" to all of the haters? Maybe. But probably just another reminder to all of us that we are talking about her, she's not talking about us. Ironically, the lyrics to her latest hit are about choice. We all have a choice. We don't have to listen or talk about her. For better or for worse, I can't stop listening to "We Can't Stop!", the synthesized version.