I've been eating at restaurants my entire life, having grown up to parents who didn't cook and who love eating out more than life itself. The following tips are culled from a lifetime of dining out with them and also from my own experiences as an adult eating at restaurants for my blog.
1. Accepting A Table That You Don't Like.
Have you ever found yourself ushered to a table in the dark, gloomy corner of a restaurant, next to a table of screaming children and you thought to yourself: "Oh boy, this is not what I had in mind?" You have every right to ask for a different table. Now at a trendy, sceney place, you may get a hostile reaction: "There won't be another table for at least an hour." If that's the response you get, immediately leave that restaurant: it's not worth it. If you're polite about it, though, chances are there's a better table for you and your evening will be that much better.
2. Listening To Your Server Instead of Your Craving.
Don't get me wrong: your server is a fabulous resource for finding out what's good and fresh on the menu. Often a server will espouse their favorite menu items. That's very helpful, but it's not the most important thing. The most important thing is knowing what you're in the mood for and sticking to that instinct. So if you're craving steak and the waiter puts on a whole song-and-dance routine about how much he loves the fish, nod nicely and still order the steak. If it's a good restaurant, the steak will be as good as the fish.
3. Not Asking Questions.
Where your server does play an important role is in explaining words on the menu that you don't understand. There's no shame in asking "what's quinoa? And am I pronouncing it right?" Clarify a dish before you order it or you may be ordering something that you didn't really want.
4. Not Thinking The Meal Through From Beginning To End.
If you are getting a steak for your entrée, is it wise to order the bacon-wrapped dates as a starter and then a foie gras terrine as your appetizer? Probably not, unless you want to be carried out on a stretcher. If you're having a heavy, meaty entrée, order a lighter, more fish-oriented starter. Or a salad. Or, inversely, if you're getting a lighter entrée, order a heavier appetizer. Think: balance.
5. Ordering A Bottle of Wine When Wine By The Glass Makes More Sense.
If one person orders fish, one person orders steak, one person orders pork and one person orders crayfish risotto, it might be very difficult to choose a bottle of wine that appeals to everyone (and would go well with all that food). So keep things simple and do wine by the glass: one bottle is about four glasses anyway and if you do the math, it often works out the same.
6. Salting Your Food Before You Taste It.
If you're at a good restaurant, the seasoning, like everything else, is carefully scrutinized by the chef before it reaches your table. Trust, then, that the food is seasoned correctly when you first take a bite. If, a few bites later, it still isn't doing it for you, by all means, ask for salt.
7. Asking The Kitchen To Leave Off An Element.
I understand that some of you are allergic to mushrooms or zucchini or mushroom-shaped zucchini. Fair enough. But if there's a dish on the menu that has, as a component, something that you don't like or that you're allergic to, you're better off choosing a different dish than asking them to remove that component. That component is there for a reason: it's meant to balance out the other elements on the plate and if you throw that balance off, your dinner will be disappointing.
8. Going To The Bathroom Right Before They Serve Your Next Course.
You may not know this, but at many fine restaurants, they carefully watch your table before they bring your food out to make sure everyone is seated. If not, they'll wait. And if the wait is too long -- and this is at the most serious places -- they'll sometimes throw out food that's gotten cold and re-fire your dishes. How awful! Do the restaurant a favor, then, and go to the bathroom right after they take your food away; don't wait until just before the next course comes.
9. Sharing One Dessert.
Sure, if you're on a budget or a diet, sharing one dessert is a fine way to go about things. But if you want to seriously experience a restaurant, you have to give the pastry chef their due: order two desserts and share them. I recommend one fruit-based dessert and one chocolate-dessert, that way you get to experience the best of both worlds.
10. Keeping Your Dissatisfaction To Yourself.
Though it may seem rude, at first, to tell your server that the asparagus frittata was over-salted or that the white wine wasn't properly chilled, it's far more galling for a restaurant to read an anonymous review online that complains of these things without a chance for them to correct or address what went wrong. By speaking up, you're alerting the restaurant to issues that need to be addressed and actually helping them improve their game. Plus, if they're generous, they'll make up for things by sending over an extra dessert or refilling your glass, no charge.
Stefan Aschan: Dining Out and Bloating?
Adam Roberts: Let Them Eat Cake (Why Junk Food Is OK For Kids, In Moderation)
If you got great service and just didn't like the dish, don't be stingy to the waitstaff.
You don't have to actually pay. The check is just asking for a voluntary donation. Yet, many people pay it without question. To avoid awkwardness, leave after the last time the waiter/waitress comes by. Also,
#12) going out the front door. It can actually be easier to slip out a side door or through the back entrance, rather than fighting your way through the lines up front.
Also, after you've eaten at a particular restaurant a few times, they sometimes don't want you to come back, for some reason. Occasionally, they even go to the trouble of getting a restraining order, which leads me to #13 of what you're doing wrong:
#13) not disguising yourself with a big fake mustache, a floppy hat, or absurdly large horn-rim glasses.
Restaurant reviewers disguise themselves all the time. You should too, if you frequent the same place very much.
Dave, I imagine there was a time in your life when you didn't know what quinoa was. I hope the person who instructed you was patient and kind and not judgmental about your lake of education.
I also think that the current generation of American parents is not controlling its offspring. When my son was a baby, I would immediately take him outside the restaurant if he started to scream. I have never seen a parent of a baby or young child do this since 1998. Admittedly you can't do this on a moving train. I would always bring enough toys to distract my son while traveling.
Only express your dissatisfaction AFTER you've finished the entire meal. To do so beforehand increases the likelihood of your food being tampered with.
I worked in restaurants from middle-school, through much of University. From fastfood/chain to Asian to fine dining. Being rude,snappy, intolerant, demanding, etc.to your server, or other staff, will get your food tampered with. Stiffing a server on a tip, and ever coming back (and being recognized), will also get your food tampered with.
Being a server is a high pressure and often a thankless job. New servers often break before they master the job because of the pressure. Being kind and understanding will get you better service (and cleaner food) than being demanding. Remember that not all screw-ups are the fault of the server. If your steak is overcooked, send it back with a smile, she/he didn't cook it.
I know it's your money, and you're paying for the meal, and everything SHOULD be to your expectations, and you should be able to complain- but the consequences can be disgusting.
Frankly after my tenure as a restaurant worker, I rarely go out to eat as an adult. I've seen so many horrific things done to peoples food.
Bottom line: Be polite, patient, amicable, and if your server genuinely tried to accommodate you, tip well. You will be remembered, and get top notch service on return visits.
as b.b.king would say "i'm paying the cost to be the boss".
If you are getting 25% tips, I suggest investing in an english as a second language class.
The only time I'd tip 25% is when a server goes above and beyond the call of duty to made my meal enjoyable and/or memorable.
Dictating terms, exhibiting a bad attitude if I prefer a different table or prefer a minor change to an item, and the overall 'shut up and eat our food' attitude will get you less that 10%... and that's only if I'm feeling generous.
Tips are discretionary. I've had servers who have turned a mediocre meal into a wonderful dining experience and have tipped very generously on those occasions. Likewise, I've had spectacular food ruined by inconsiderate or inhospitable wait staff. On those very rare occasions, I have tipped a token amount to very clearly communicate my dissatisfaction.
When the establishment does not believe that you have a right to a pleasurable experience the you must leave... and never go back.
Fortunately, with the internet, you have the ability to instantly broadcast your displeasure.
The cost to a restaurant will be far more than the lost of one unhappy client.
I do not broadcast my displeasure at soggy, over-spiced, overpriced meals.
One meal could have been a fluke. Perhaps the chef was having an off day. Who knows?
But it is highly unlikely that I will return since there are so many other establishments to try.
All that question says to me is " I am too lazy to bring your change back, so can I just have it?"
You should be saying: " I WILL BE RIGHT BACK WITH YOUR CHANGE." Then, the customer can either say " Ok, Thank you" or " That's Ok, the rest is for you."
Pretender.