I listen all day to the way that people talk about their work. Sometimes I hear great successes, and sometimes, miserable failures. But mostly what I don't hear - and have to ask for - is the learning behind these stories, which too often evaporates into thin air. When professionals meet with their teams or clients, few think to tell - and fewer think to ask each other - about their real experience which gives new perceptions on their work. Wisdom, alas, if not shared, is wasted.
If you were privy as I am when I am coaching work teams, you would see that what doesn't work is obvious, painfully so. Just observe interaction at a meeting about a project or progress report. Notice the response to someone who says his project is done or her sales quota is met: It's "Mine is too." Most of our responses to others' accounts are only to wait until they are finished and then insert our own progress, ignoring their work. Ah, when narcissism masquerades as teamwork, it prevents any real learning.
When we are the tellers, we hate being ignored or drowned out. Instead, it's quite the opposite. We crave hearing - "Tell me how you did it. What were the danger spots or the surprises, or the turnaround point?" For meaningful discussion about our work, the burden is quite squarely on everyone -- the listeners to ask as well as the teller to tell.
What is the underlying reason that we don't tell the subtext, the back story, and the results of our actions? Because we are not used to summing up what we learned and, even worse, we feel we are not supposed to boast. Yet over and over again, when I am offering strategies for more successful communication and excellence in management, I insist on shared experience as a basis for working together.
So, with nothing to lose, and everything to gain, why not try out a few tactics at your next meeting. Here are some ways you can begin to change your intentions and, hopefully, your behaviors for better profits and greater bonding.
1.If your project has just started, have your team members each take a turn and tell what they are looking forward to and what direct experience each has relating to the project. This way you can ferret out both expectations and those who have first-hand knowledge. You will be surprised how inspiring and useful this exercise can be.
2. When your project is in midstream, then, similarly, go around and ask everyone for the following: successes so far, problems encountered, and anyone's experience that can help. This is also a great time to look ahead to assess whether the project should continue on the ex¬act path or whether adjustments are needed. Even if there is too little time to finish as originally planned, you can avoid getting jammed up and falling short. Taking time out to con¬template another way to finish doesn't waste time; it often saves you from going down an unproductive or mistaken path.
3.After the project has been completed, most teams think they are finished. They aren't. They are missing out on their learning experience that will boost progress for the next project. Have each member tell what they would like to be acknowledged for, what they wish they can apply to the next project, even what new contribution each would like to make in the future.
Despite feeling somewhat artificial at first, these rounds of talk, led by trained leaders or career consultants, actually enable all who have worked together to share what they did and learned from their valuable experience. In this way, they can transcend the typical griping or cycle of plunging into the next project without the benefit of their new knowledge. Instead, teams can use their experiences to grow smarter and better each time rather than repeating the wastefulness of negative and unintelligent behaviors.
The key is using communication - to tell and to hear - in a group setting to bear witness to what the activity has meant to each member as well as to the group. It starts with daring to think that what you do and what others do is important to talk about.
I'd like to hear what happens when your try these techniques.
Make your luck happen!
DrAdele.com
Adele@DrAdele.com
Career Strategist and Consultant
Author, Skills for Success and Launch Your Career in College