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Adia Colar

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Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Stunted Growth

Posted: 11/21/11 03:39 PM ET

The first season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was -- as would be expected -- grand, opulent, and ostentatious. This second season, though, has delved into many more issues and the once innocent fun is clouded by reports of abuse and suicide.

As a result, I've seen many multifaceted dynamics and read enough viewers' comments that I wanted to share my thoughts as well.
 A couple things first:

  • Although it is "reality TV," we all know that it's only real to a certain point.  What we see is the truth diluted with clever edits, exaggerations, and sly suggestions.

  • The following views are my own interpretation of the "reality" I've seen -- combined with my psychology background -- and how it relates to lessons I've learned.

 Stunted Growth 
After this week's episode, I've read countless comments that went something like this:
"Taylor's behavior was completely childish."  
"She really seemed like she was in elementary school."
"'Girls, back me up,' 'Lisa said I don't have any friends.' Are we in high school again??"

The thing is, if Taylor is as emotionally and mentally messed up as she claims, she could have a grade school mentality. One thing that's known among addicts is that emotional and mental growth is essentially stunted at the time addiction develops.  I can say that for me and others I've known who had eating disorders, when we began recovering, we had a lot of catching up to do maturity-wise and often reacted to things differently than our non-addict friends would.

Even still, I'll occasionally find myself reacting to something much differently than my other friends, and I'll try to ask myself, Is Adia of the past reacting or is this present-day Adia?  It helps me to call myself out (or for my friends to call me out), look at the issue, and either adjust my thought process or accept it.

If Taylor does have some sort of addiction or trauma that occurred when she was younger, she too could be emotionally and mentally stunted.  That obviously doesn't bode well if she's dealing with "age-appropriate" adults, but with help, it is something she can work on and improve. It's not necessarily easy, but it's worth it.

 

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The first season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was -- as would be expected -- grand, opulent, and ostentatious. This second season, though, has delved into many more issues and the once inno...
The first season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was -- as would be expected -- grand, opulent, and ostentatious. This second season, though, has delved into many more issues and the once inno...
 
 
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04:30 PM on 11/27/2011
After watching this episode a second time, I congratulate Camille for 'going there'! I could FEEL the heat in her face, SEE the strain on her neck and HEAR the authentic concern she was experiencing!
Bravo to Camille!

As for Taylor's (I mean Kennedy's 5th birthday) party, the excessive display was almost obscene!
A party at "serene" Canyon Ranch with a petting zoo, several bouncy houses, three cowgirl dresses to chose from, Ace Young singing a lame song written especially for Kennedy, fewer kids than adults, a pony-shaped cake and then a real HORSE...accompanied by two distant, self-absorbed parents who cared more about OUTDOING each other to win 'parent of the party'!

And don't get me started on the outrageous and depraved amount of gifts for a pouting, sulking 5 year old who clearly wasn't enjoying the spectacle! Remember Kennedy's birthday gift when she was 4, a darling puppy that was given away because they couldn't handle a small dog. Now a horse!! Of course.
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Adia Colar
publicist by day, writer by night
12:44 PM on 12/02/2011
Yes, I'm definitely glad Camille ''went there.'' I'm a little conflicted as to whether she should've ''outed'' Taylor on TV, but that might've been just the intervention Taylor needed.

The birthday party was indeed... interesting. It certainly shows that many people on the show have 'stunted growth,' don't you think?
01:45 PM on 11/23/2011
Why is there a picture of Camille and Kelsey Grammer, when he article is about Taylor?
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09:49 PM on 11/22/2011
I am surprised that the emotional immaturity shown in Taylor's response to the other women is not recognized in the others as well. Kyle has extreme narcisism and acts like a spoiled child; she is involved in everyone's drama. Kim is equally as immature. I enjoyed the first season as the same time I was saddened by the treatment of Camille given she really needed compassion at that time. The treatment of Brandi and Dayna by the "3 witches" has been cruel. This show is an embarassment to American women given the global audience.
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Adia Colar
publicist by day, writer by night
05:19 PM on 11/23/2011
I agree with you - there's definitely immaturity issues to go around. I, also, felt bad for the ladies treated Camille last season (apparently you and I are an anomaly)! We'll see how the rest of the season goes...
06:59 PM on 11/22/2011
I really love this! Taylor's behavior this season has been painful to watch and difficult for many viewers to reconcile with compassion. Thanks for the understanding. You've offered a fresh and insightful perspective of Taylor's mind-state.
10:21 AM on 11/22/2011
Adia,
I would love to see you do an extensive piece on your recovery from your eating disorder. I think you could help a lot of us out here that struggle with that.
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Adia Colar
publicist by day, writer by night
06:41 PM on 11/22/2011
Thank you so much, slfasano. I've done a lot of writing about life with and recovery from an eating disorder and I definitely plan on having the book published. Your comment has given me an extra boost to finish it!

All the best. :)
06:41 PM on 11/22/2011
I agree. A longer piece from you would be invaluable to many.
04:35 PM on 11/21/2011
That is a great piece. Thanks for sharing, Adia; you are an eloquent and thoughtful writer.

I hadn’t thought about Taylor’s mental age/ “stunted growth” until now. She did talk about how she had experienced with domestic violence as a child and that could be the age she is stuck in now. It is plain to see she has body image issues she is dealing with, as well as her home life being a mess. It’s sad to watch, that is for sure.
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Adia Colar
publicist by day, writer by night
06:00 PM on 11/21/2011
Thanks, Willie!

Yes, Taylor did discuss the issue of domestic violence when she was a child and that could've contributed to it. While I'm not a Taylor expert and some things do seem questionable about her, I see a number of signs that seem to point to deep-seeded emotional and psychological problems. Let's hope she gets help.
11:02 AM on 11/30/2011
The trouble is we know the denouement, thus that therapy session with an Osteopath! didn't and won't be helping either Taylor or Russell! See my blog, "Occupy The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills", http://open.salon.com/blog/pam_malone. Sadly, the real issues of wife battering, abuse and Anorexia, are being swept under a phony and gilded rug.