09/20/2009 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Obama as the Joker? Holy Dumbass, Batman!

These Obama-as-Joker posters, the ones with the word "socialism" in all its lowercase glory along the bottom, are really beginning to wrinkle my undies.

As a comedian, my first instinct is to destroy these hecklers using their own low-hanging fruit: namely, the use of the word Socialism with about as much accuracy as me using a baseball bat.

It's easy to make fun of people who don't have the wherewithal to read the Wikipedia entry on Socialism in order to understand what they're saying. Having trouble finding it? Here's a good working definition: If you're and adult and haven't yet learned what Socialism actually means, you're probably the one who's going to benefit from it.

Actually, the scariest and saddest thing about these posters is the adoption of the use of the Joker in those images. We've learned that the image originated from a Chicago college student who was stretching his Photoshop legs. That's fine. But conservatives have found this photo, and in some sort of desperate melee to raise up an image where Obama looks grotesque, have galvanized their whole anti-Obama movement around this photo of Obama as the Joker.

And dollars to doughnuts these "Obama is a Nazi Communist" scholars love themselves some Batman.

Look, I'm not a Batman fan-girl. I think I've seen all the movies, possibly once each. There was the movie where Beetlejuice was Batman, and then one or two where Val Kilmer was Batman, and then Oceans' Batman, and then the two recent ones where Christian Bale reprised his role in American Psycho as Batman. He was great. I would pay money to be hacked to death by Christian Bale. Suss-sussudio!

The first thing I remember about Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight is that it was built like a Russian doll, with three beginnings and six endings.

The second thing I remember about the Dark Knight is that the Joker is the Libertarian of the movie. He's the individual choice guy! He sets up that whole ferry explosion, prisoner's dilemma stunt in order to prove to the City of Gotham that people are inherently selfish and will act in their own interests before others'. Even I can see that, and I only saw the movie once, between 2 and 5:30 in the morning.

If anyone is a pinko in these movies, it's Batman. Batman's all about the public option. He never acts as a vigilante without the consent of the police department, and in the end sacrifices his own good name for the public good. And in the first movie, Liam Neeson is all, "You have to destroy Gotham, Batman, because it's become filthy with human corruption," and Batman is all, "No, you can't sacrifice the majority just to save a minority, even if that majority is a bunch of ignorant dumb-fucks who wouldn't know what's good for them if it shot their parents in an alley."

And then Liam Neeson is all like, "I have to destroy Gotham anyway," and then Patrick Batman is all like, "I will defend the citizens' rights to be ignorant and corrupt. Because that is the greatest good for the greatest many." Whoa there, comrade.

See, Batman is all about doing the dirty work that the public needs, but doesn't necessarily want. Sound familiar?

Here, rabble. I made you a new poster.