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Agapi Stassinopoulos

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Confidence and How to Get Some with a Little Help from the Gods

Posted: 03/17/09 02:20 AM ET

It's time for a stimulus plan of confidence.

With the stunning shakeup in our economy, it is easy to have our personal confidence shaken. How then can we each have those wonderful feelings of confidence that some people radiate -- as if they have been touched by the gods?

In order to move forward, we must realize that those gods are within us all -- they are parts of ourselves. They are the better angels of our nature, intent that we succeed. Our confidence is based on a deep core of spiritual ethics and a trust that says we are not alone, that the spirit of who we are is mightier than the one that lives in the world. Our life is not a singular act. It involves our higher self -- our wisdom, compassion and the ability to tap into our unlimited spiritual source that connects us not only to others but to our own power. That mentality can bring a confidence that is unshakable.

Yet, if we turn on ourselves and fall into unhealthy, unsupportive patterns -- like negative projections, self-rejecting, seeing failure instead of success, seeing the worst outcome before we even try -- then we will walk on unsteady ground.

We also sabotage our confidence by giving our power over to others, thinking they know better -- or actually are better in some way. We amplify those people as we diminish ourselves, through fear of ridicule, and comparing, and self-criticizing.

How then do we boost our own confidence? Simple. We must become our own cheerleader, through thoughts that lift and boost us, and by having people around us that build our confidence. We need to learn to acknowledge ourselves and give ourselves credit.

We must also have compassion for ourselves -- realizing that we are all similar in more ways than we know. Our basic needs are the same. This was evident on the U.S. Airways plane that landed on the Hudson. In that crisis there was no hierarchy over who had the better job, more money in the bank, or the right Prada handbag. So when you go to your next situation, imagine that reality. Imagine the people you are with on that plane on the Hudson, and this might free you up to be you!

If you are waiting to do things perfectly, forget it. Confidence has nothing to do with perfection. It has to do with a quality of deep self-acceptance that leads us to do things in a masterful way, as it allows us to speak our mind and our hearts.

Shakespeare said it best in Measure for Measure, "Our doubts are traitors, And make us lose the good we oft might win. By fearing to attempt." Doubt and fear are the byproducts of our own negative voices and the enemies of the sturdiness that comes from confidence.

How then do we assume confidence? How do we by pass the voice of doubt that blocks The way to our confidence? Yes, being good at what you do, money in the bank, people who love you, being acknowledged, feeling attractive, the right clothes, the right looks, are all good. But I have seen people with all that who still lack confidence.

I am talking about another kind of confidence -- the confidence of self that comes from a deep awareness and knowing that you don't walk alone. I am talking about the confidence of who you are in you -- no matter your abilities; that place where you can do what you need to do and ask and receive and create. The confidence that comes from knowing your value -- not because of what you do but because of who you are. It is that core feeling that feels like a bungee cord to the source... priceless!

When we experience that, it is like a tsunami of higher consciousness. Available to all at no charge! Instead of the high price we pay for denying ourselves our opportunity to be who we are and fulfill our potential.

When I was writing my first book, Conversations with the Goddesses, searching for my voice and plagued with the doubt that I could finish, a dear friend came to stay for the weekend. She woke me at the crack of dawn and said, like the Greek oracle, "I have a message for you."
She then told me, "You have everything you need to write this book except one thing: confidence. You think you have to do it alone, but you have help that is invisible. That is your creative force, waiting for you to give yourself permission to hear it."

She sat me in my living room and there, at the big pad I keep by my desk, she had me write: "My confidence comes from knowing that I am not alone in this writing of my book. I have invisible help from spirit and I assume it."

From that moment on, I wrote with a different Voice, knowing that I was not alone. I had to ask my mind to take a back seat and allow my creative self to appear in my writing. In our daily actions we must tap into these deeper parts of ourselves in order to operate with confidence.

I have a sign on my desk that says, "I cannot afford the luxury of my own insecurities." This is true.
To create what we want in our lives, we must breathe in confidence and exhale those insecurities that undermine us. The assumed confidence gave me courage and evoked my hidden voice. I kept taking the steps and they led me onto a bigger field of knowledge -- and success.

I woke up to the realization that I had in me so much more than I ever imagined. I just needed the confidence to know I could do it.

We need to take mental dominion over ourselves, so the negative voices can diminish and gradually disappear. Then we can hear a big "YES" that becomes so loud it drowns out any voice that would undermine us. We don't know how far and high that path can take us, but it is worth taking.

When we finish, we will find that we are walking through our lives, actions and relationships in the field of our confidence. Not because we know the outcome of situations and circumstances, but because we know that, no matter the outcome, we are valuable, worthwhile and lovable beings. Nothing can diminish the essence of who we are. Those gods walk with us and hover about us, rooting for us to win .