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Agapi Stassinopoulos

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Rethinking Our Conception of Leadership

Posted: 10/24/10 03:22 AM ET

On Nov. 6 and 7, I will be a speaker amongst many inspirational speakers in a conference called "Leaders Causing Leaders." Would you join us? Click here for more information.

When I spoke to the organizer Kenneth Schwenker, he told me that the mission of the conference is to activate the leader in each one of us, to inspire us to produce at least 10 specific projects and actions that will make a difference in some of the issues that the we are all dealing with in this world. A large part of the conference will be inspiring teenagers to make a difference in their communities and to be leaders in their own way. People are already posting visions of what their individual projects will be, as well as the support they will need to realize them. You can also post your own project or vision. This conference on leadership got me thinking about how I define a true leader, what inspires me, and what leadership means in my life.

I remember what my mother used to say. She would always say that you are either a leader or you're being led. And if you are led, be aware of who you are following and where they are leading you. Make sure you're being led to where you would like to end up. My mother wasn't talking about leadership from the outside. She was talking about how we allow our thoughts, emotions and actions, as well as other peoples' actions, to affect us. Either they lead us to the results we want or they make us spiral down in a direction that we don't really want. Most likely, we end up feeling victimized, thinking, "Why is this happening to me?"

What sets leaders apart is their ability to go for the vision of their desired outcome, no matter the resistance, the obstacles or the challenges. They do not second-guess their actions with thoughts like, "That's impossible," or, "It's never happened before," or, "What if people disapprove?" They possess a radical courage. The truth is that when we have someone's best interest at heart, the leader in us awakens. However, if we only care for ourselves and our own self-promotion, the leader within us sleeps. When the need to serve others is elevated, leadership emerges from caring, and from a direct connection to the heart. When we have the motivation to serve, the leader inside awakens because a leader causes change rather than being affected by what others are causing. I want to tell you a story that illustrates this point.

This summer I was in Greece working on a documentary on the Greek gods. For one of the shots, we were at a lovely vineyard that was taken care of by Mr. Vasilios. At some point during the shoot, we needed nails to hang something on a beam in the courtyard, but we didn't have any nails. I asked Mr. Vasilios if he had any nails. He said he didn't, but then he looked up in the air, paused and said, "Nails...hmmm...let me see." He looked down to the right where there was a little stool, pulled it apart and, to our amazement, produced six nails. Mr. Vasilios wanted so strongly to serve our need in that moment that he saw nails where none of us could see them. But of course, he was the caretaker of the vineyard. Day after the day, he was harvesting and taking care of the land. Caring was in Mr. Vasilios' DNA.

If we awaken that caring in ourselves, then we are connected to each other, and we respond to someone else's need. We are able to find solutions that are not immediately apparent to the eye but are hidden like the nails in Mr. Vasilios' stool. At that point, we transcend the ego and our small selves. It is not a matter of "look what I am doing" but rather "look what is being done through me." Then we can produce the kind of energy that can part the Red Sea. When we hear the calling and our caring is awakened, we respond, and then we are able to find solutions.

In some unconscious way, we have been programmed to think that something will happen outside ourselves that will change our lives. As the crises that we are facing in the world increase, from the economy to the environment, we are always searching for the leaders out there. We live our lives by the way our leaders run our government, giving up our control and leadership. But we still have a choice to become our own leaders. Consider this: what if each one of us, regardless of the circumstances in our lives, grabbed onto the core of our own leadership without looking for leadership outside?

It takes courage to step up to leadership, to the leader within, because it begins first in our inner environment. It is a calling to the better angels of our natures. It requires a sort of ruthlessness, an ability to sacrifice the lesser parts of ourselves. When we harness our inner authority and call forward the better parts of ourselves, it is then (and only then) that we realize that we are not alone. We have the allegiance of a higher intelligence and a spiritual power available to us. That way we become producers of the goodness for all.

I think knowing how to be a leader is nothing more than hearing the calling of what needs to be done and stepping out of our own limited thinking pattern to serve a bigger need. Leadership means letting ourselves move beyond the fear of being rejected or failing and stepping into the innate ability we have to lead. Then we find nails where we thought there were none.

How are you leading yourself? How are you helping others manifest? What are you involved in to bring about change in the world? Who do you see that is making a difference? Share your stories, and let's amplify the conversation to awaken the leader inside.

 
 
 
On Nov. 6 and 7, I will be a speaker amongst many inspirational speakers in a conference called "Leaders Causing Leaders." Would you join us? Click here for more information. When I spoke to the orga...
On Nov. 6 and 7, I will be a speaker amongst many inspirational speakers in a conference called "Leaders Causing Leaders." Would you join us? Click here for more information. When I spoke to the orga...
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02:23 PM on 10/28/2010
***What Is A Leader, Anyway?***

A man.
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spytheweb
Black Democrat
07:04 PM on 10/26/2010
Some people think leaders and being in charge are the same thing. Most people in charge don't know what they are doing but you have to go along.
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popart
retired school teacher
06:00 PM on 10/26/2010
a leader is a person who attracts followers....like a flower attracts a bees.....i think it must be the smell.....it certainly is not because leaders are better than anyone else.....i would seriously question the motives of anyone who would want to be a leader....but then i am not a "follower" by nature...i trust no one.
04:06 PM on 10/26/2010
I am a true leader.

I have the vision, for the future.
09:29 AM on 10/26/2010
The officers gave orders that were carried out but without passion and filled with doubt. Fear was winning. We were being defeated and no bullets had been fired yet. Morale was weakening fast. That Master Chief was the meanest man I've ever met. He was ruthless and ignorant. He enjoyed violence and was openly defiant of any authority above him. But that day, he was brilliant.

He was selfless. He knew we could lose more than just our arms and limbs. We could lose our manhood. He was our Hero. He had seen this before and lived through it. He was scared but didnt care. The thought of losing his spirit made him angry. He would have been insulted if anyone gave into fear.

Our thoughts changed from overwhelming fear to wanting to do whatever he said.

The Captain recognized the change in the men and officers. He asked the Master Chief if were ready? Kept throwing questions at the Chief so he could keep his voice commanding the Bridge. It calmed the men.

Leadership isn't always an opportunity to raise ones self. Leadership more often is you willing and able to throw yourself into the fire to protect others for a greater good. It cannot be just taught. People don't follow intellect or title or power or self realized awareness counselors.

They follow

Courage
Selflessness
Sacrifice
Experience
Success
Strength
Accountability

Its not a role thats self elected, its a role that others decide with their gut and heart.
09:17 AM on 10/26/2010
General Quarters is a term for a Naval vessel thats preparing for wartime combat engagement. The enemy is within striking distance of your "group" of ships. Enemy fire is eminent. My first real GQ was terrifying. If we had not rehearsed it a million times I would have pissed my shorts and fainted The idea of what I've seen of missles, explosions and gun fire were overwhelming to my mind. There's noway this pitiful metal ship is going to defend all that hell tearing me to fleshy bits. I wasnt alone, you could see the fear on everyones faces. We went through our routine checks and preparations with religous ardure. We loved the routine now, we worshipped any semblance of the usual. Anything to cling too that kept our mind off what was about to unleash on us.

Some of the Officers on deck had this look on their faces like "..this is gonna make me a Commander" or I finally run for political office with this combat experience.

The rest of us just wanted to live through it and see our families one last time.

The Bridge is where the Captain commands the vessel and it was littered with officers salivating to be incharge.

The men didnt feel any relief until an old near retirement Master Chief entered and began barking orders. We loved him for that. We would have followed him to hell that day. I'll never forget it. Leadership is sometimes unexplainable. ...continued... (see above)
09:01 AM on 10/26/2010
Leadership too often means to people "..I chose myself to take you with me...so follow me I"m a leader.." Way off the mark.

I read the article and its a bit light and and airy like a poetry seminar convincing elderly church going ladies of the womens auxillary. Doesnt conjure images of leadership or bastions of movers and shakers. It had some tones of religion in there too which distorts the message.

I served in the military and my expectation of leadership is a tad more demanding than an effort to satisfiy the inner-care giver or ones cognitive ego or super ego.

Picture this : Heavy storm torn seas at night, rain, lightening, ocean water gushing over the ships deck 8 feet high pounding 8 men tethered to a rope facing down the storm while trying to refuel another ship just 100 meters off the port side. The fuel nozzle, brass and metal hose the size of a missle swings wildly unchecked inches above the mens heads. The young man incharge untethered himself and threw his body onto the nozzle and wrestled the nozzle into a safe lasso.

He didnt wait for a committee of agreement. He saved everyones life and risked his own. At 19 years of age. What do you think his parents would define as leadership ?

I witnessed this leadership my entire time in the service DAILY.

Leadership has many ingredients that cannot be separated:

Courage
Risk
Self Sacrifice
Accoutability
Success
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John Tarnoff
21st century citizen, media education advisor
03:10 PM on 10/25/2010
Agapi - I think you make an important connection in identifying leadership as coming from an inner calling of service. Good leadership is service on a goal-oriented level, where a leader uses their courage ("coeur"= heart) to step forward out of the group to guide that group in a consensual direction. Regardless of the methodology used, or the theory behind a given leader's practice (and, of course, each leader will have a different experience of this...), the effective leader is connecting on a meaningful, goal-oriented level with those with whom they engage.
10:54 AM on 10/25/2010
I love the story about the caretaker and the stool. The ability to see resources where others do not seems to be an essential element of leadership. Also, the ability and willingness to encourage growth in others. And that is what you have done with this blog, Agapi!

Anna

http://5forFairness.org
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07:14 AM on 10/25/2010
Your views of leadership are anecdotal, but that is true of most ideas about leadership. Virtually all empirical studies are unidimensional and without value. Leadership is not within us per se, although leadership is everywhere for evil or good. Your hankering for the assistance of mystical experience or Ancient values is barking up the wrong tree. Leadership is not knowing the ends but the process that leads to satisfactory ends for the generality of membership of the organization. The great leader provides the conditions for great leadership everywhere. Stay with empirically based facts and ordinary historical experience. Otherwise, your premises and conclusions become polluted with useless or toxic knowldege. Last, if you are as pretty as your sister you got my vote. Warmest regards.
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11:01 AM on 10/25/2010
Naturally her views of leadership are anecdotal. Leadership cannot be measured or quantified.

The issue of leadership contains no small measure of spirit. Its seed is within all of us. However, so many lack the right combination of vision, courage and inspirational ability necessary to have that seed grow and flourish.

The great leader does not provide the conditions. He/she responds to existing conditions, and steps up.
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12:41 PM on 10/25/2010
porcinechic. You were right until my research that conclusively proves that leadership are operational ingredients called repertoires and that these repertoires are measureable and predict organizational productivity and performance. My book will be finished soon. It will startle the world. It may create a renaissance in organizational performance.
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ndem
03:18 AM on 10/25/2010
I would have loved to have known your mother! You and Arianna turned out great!! Thank you for this piece. And write more and more often!
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
01:46 AM on 10/25/2010
Brilliant, Agapi! That is to say the light that you shine on leadership and the choices we each have as individuals. Yours is an enriching read because we all have that inner light of caring to follow.

I love what you say here: "If we awaken that caring in ourselves, then we are connected to each other, and we respond to someone else's need. We are able to find solutions that are not immediately apparent to the eye but are hidden like the nails in Mr. Vasilios' stool."

Mr Vasilios gave you a wonderful invitation to the open mind. It is open mindedness that occurs to me most often these days as being instrumental in leading our way through the apparently difficulties we are meeting.

With huge love and warm blessings to you,
Anne
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artleads
Let's have a national retreat.
11:51 PM on 10/24/2010
Thanks. I have been following my bliss, and been as happy as I can recall. Recently an old teacher from the past opined that I was self-satisfied and needed to be challenged. I'm still trying to process this. Things happen for a reason, and there's a reason why his opinions came into my life. So, without a radical departure from the norm, I'm hoping to pull my stuff together a little better. I'm happy enough just to survive--it's a miracle--but I'm considering whether success (by the world's standards) is either attainable or desirable.
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khanti
Cultivator
08:28 PM on 10/24/2010
Is a good leader born or made? How to awken our inert leadership within?
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07:37 AM on 10/25/2010
khanti. That is an irrelevant, dead-end question? The proper question: What are those processes present within an organization that spawn great leaders that create a renaissance in human growth and development for all members of the organization?
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khanti
Cultivator
08:19 PM on 10/25/2010
Bush is a leader but not a good one. The missing link here is a balance of compassion. How does compassion comes about? If the majority of society awakens to compassion within then they will vote for a leader who won't act rashly. You can make a leader as in the case of Bush but not a good leader. What is the process of awkening compassion?
The question I posed is one of reality that need deep sreaching from the depths of our heart.
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
07:40 PM on 10/24/2010
How are you leading yourself? By being present, being mindful and paying attention to my world and the world.

Meditation is the key - being centered in the heart & knowing love is the way.

How are you helping others manifest? Allowing others to be themselves. Leading workshops & writing books & blogging

What are you involved in to bring about change in the world? Anything and everything I can. We have a book called BE THE CHANGE with many wonderful contributors.

Who do you see that is making a difference? Everyone! Do your best-

Arianna, Dalai Lama, Oprah, Obama my wife Deb and many others

May all beings be happy!

Life is a precious gift

Ommmmmm