Now that we have all had an opportunity to savor the celebratory mood that beckons in our planet's biggest party, it's time to whine about what's wrong with this World Cup.
Hey, someone has to do it.
Let's start with the Vuvuzela.
I love saying Vuvuzela a lot more than I like hearing it. It's a pretty word but it makes one hell of an annoying constant bee-buzzing sound that seems to be the soundtrack of every World Cup match, and not just during goal celebrations but throughout the entire 90 minutes.
It's monotonous, it drowns out the chants that some countries are famous for, it makes it difficult for players to hear the whistle or their team mates, and it makes it hard for audiences at home to hear the commentary on TV.

The debate on the Vuvuzela began before the World Cup. FIFA's president Sepp Blatter managed to kill dissent early on, only for the controversy to resurface after Argentina's Lionel Messi, Robin Van Persie and other players complained in their opening games. FIFA again considered banning the trumpet-like instrument for a moment, then decided against it.
Supporters of the Vuvuzela argue that it is a South African cultural trademark (a bit if a stretch considering it was only introduced in the 90's) and that banning it is intolerant and offensive.
But there is a compromise: why not permit Vuvuzelas for South Africa's games, but ban them from other games? Allow each country's fans to celebrate in their own cultural trademark; some like to chant, sing, dance to samba beats or a mariachi, or just cheer the old fashioned ways with "ooh's" and "aah's." Allow fans to moan when goals are missed, to ebb with attacks and climax with goals, to cheer heroes and jeer villains. Instead of all that variety that is a critical part of the game, we are stuck with a one-note zombie hum that saps the living daylights of the emotion of the World Cup experience.
Let this be a resounding warning to FIFA and the South African authorities: failure to ban the damn Vuvuzela will single-handedly destroy this World Cup.
And then there's the Jabulani.
Players have complained that the new-technology ball, courtesy of Adidas, is not very accurate. This may or may not be an excuse for poor individual performance, but one thing is clear: very few free kicks have been on target, and more than one goalie has failed to handle easy balls. It does seem that the ball accelerates and bounces faster than normal.
Here's a question: why meddle with ball technology in the first place? Did players complain that the run-of-the-mill Adidas ball was getting too boring? How come technologists don't meddle with the crossbar, or the pitch size, or the goal lines, or the net?
This is about selling a new product, isn't it? Well, I am all for marketing campaigns, but could it not come at the expense of my World Cup viewing experience? In truth, the Jabulani was introduced during the Confederations Cup last year, not the World Cup, but player feedback was not entirely positive then either.
Of course, Adidas will be happy to argue that this tournament is simply tainted by poor goalies and overzealous free-kickers. They quickly point to US goalie's Tim Howard's stellar performance (I say they owe him a sponsorship). As for the free kicks, the word is still out; we will need Beckham -- or Zidane or Mihajlovic or Roberto Carlos to come out of retirement -- for a field test to settle this one.
Then there's the empty seats.
In any World Cup, any stadium that is anything less than full to the brim is a bit sacrilegious to viewers like me who would give a pinkie to be there. Here's betting that if there were to be a Tuvalu vs. Djibouti match-up in Brazil 2014, you won't find an empty seat. I understand that South Africa is not as soccer-crazed as Brazil, and that its non-black population puts rugby and cricket ahead of soccer; but how about the South African organizers make up for that by offering free tickets to poor school children or any of the street fans whom I am sure would be more than willing to act as seat warmers.
Then there's the disappointment of the big gun players: Ronaldo, Drogba, Kaka, Etoo, Rooney, Torres, and Ribery. None of the hyped players -- who are admittedly very talented -- delivered on the hype in their much anticipated South Africa debut. In fact, Ronaldo's best moment in Portugal's opening match against the Ivory Coast came in a half-time commercial for Nike (fine, he also hit the sidebar during the game).
The same disappointment goes for the big gun teams: World Cup favorites Spain surprisingly lost to a defensive Switzerland while second favorites England tied with the US (thankfully). Brazil (ranked 1st in the world) barely managed to beat North Korea (ranked 185th), while favored Portugal failed to beat the Ivory Coast.
In general, the footballing quality of this World Cup has been anything but world class judging by the incomplete passes, wayward shooting, poor goalkeeping, lack of creativity from the midfield, and stifling team formations from conservative and boring managers.
Lastly, apart from Germany's first game and Argentina's second, so far it seems that most of the matches have been low-scoring and low energy while there has been no shortage of red cards. In fact the first round of this World Cup has had the lowest number of goals per game and the highest number of ties, including scoreless stalemates, in recent memory.
Here's hoping that the quality picks up and the Vuvuzela tones down. If not, it could be the worst World Cup in modern times. So far the second round indicates that there may be hope, at least for quality to pick up (good luck on silencing the Vuvuzela though).
Follow Ahmed Rehab on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Ahmed_Rehab
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Do you sincerely believe that those "primi donni" who get pay a lot of money by their european clubs would risk having a broken leg or an injury to their knees by some unknown third world country
player just for the 'beauty' of the game ? come on !
On the vuvuzela, I myself personally dislike them. But it is without a doubt part of South African football culture, the amount of years it has been so is irrelevant (and it obviously couldn't of been introduced earlier than the nineties, most of our culture on display was promulgated post Apartheid). The main body of soccer fans (the ones that watch local games) have made it a part of their usual experience when watching the beautiful game. And the vuvuzela has been embraced by visitors. At the Spain game the most jubilant users of the vuvuzela around me, were foreigners. As much as I dislike them, they are an indelible part of SA football culture, and thus can't be removed from any football game being played on SA soil.
The World Cup is about WORLD football culture, not SA football culture, so in games in which SA is not playing there is no reason for SA football culture to dominate in such a way that negates the colorful and various preferred cheering ways of other world cultures. The Vuvu may be blown by a few foreigners, but I know for example the English fans avoid it, and it is locals that do the blowing.
Also, FIFA warned SA organizers during the confed cup about the low attendance, so if they controlled that, why would they complain? FIFA issues the tickets, but the portion allocated to SA organizers intended for local fans is controlled by the SA Football authority.
Thanks for pointing out the typo about N. Korea.
On the issue of the vuvu, I personally hate it, I go to the games and hate it, problem is it's not the regular sa fans who blows it, it's EVERYONE, little kids, foreign fans, and mostly by ppl who have never been to a game in sa, and that's what causes the unbelievable ruckus...
Regarding the vuvuzela, I'm not necessarily a fan of it but apparently it does add to the atmosphere of the games. The biggest moaners of it appear to be TV viewers, but everything I've read from accounts by spectators in the stadium (even overseas visitors) is that the noise generated by it in the stadium brings an incredible level of atmosphere.
My prediction is that there will be a few vuvuzelas in the Premier League next season.
The foreign media and their hysteria about South Africa's crime problems caused a lot of potential foreign visitors to stay away.
http://www.nationmaster.com/red/country/sf-south-africa/cri-crime&b_cite=1
Check the above for numbers and comparison with other countries.
Hysteria it might have been, but not unjustified.
Dull gameplay: I really enjoyed watching the Germans the other day. None-stop attacking, crisp passing, creative play. And then there's the rest of the games I've watched - hopelessly conservative and dull, with some exceptions. Compare this to the best of hockey, baseball, football, basketball, well, it doesn't compare. Far, far too many teams get a one goal lead and sit on it for the whole game. Unbelievably boring.
Crappy refereeing: Take your choice - instant red cards for non-existent infractions, lack of control over diving, poor off-side calling (like today in Mexico's match). This is just pitiful at this level.
Overly dramatic players: Every shot at the net, no matter how wide, gets the players acting like they just barely missed. Dramatic diving. Constant outraged pleading with the refs to call an infraction if another player just barely nudges them.
The rules: Red cards are far too severe a punishment. There needs to be something else between the first yellow card and the results of the red card. The team loses the player for the rest of the game, bad enough, and for the entire next game. Far too severe in a short tournament.
Sir Alex Ferguson and Jose Mourinho are right when they say the real pinnacle of football these days is the Champions League.
Having just finished watching the NHL playoffs, and still watching the NBA finals, the contrast to the general dullness of this World Cup is excruciating.
The red card is far too powerful. I was raised around soccer, and have begun to believe this more and more. There needs to some additional steps between the first yellow card and the red card. Maybe a second yellow card, but the player goes off and his team plays short for a given time, like in hockey (10 minutes at lest). And then a red card for any additional infractions.
But even the red card could have levels. If it is a red card for the second infraction on a player, and the second infraction wasn't severe, then they get a type of red card that kicks the player out of the rest of the game, but not for the game after as well (call it a level 1 red card). Then there's a more severe red card (the level 2), that removes a player from the game and the next game, which would only be used for the most severe, blatant infractions.
But my thoughts are pointless. The rules will never get altered by FIFA. Funny how they are conservative about that, but are perfectly willing to let the horrible Jabulani balls get used (but that's for sponsorship Golden Rule - he who has the gold, makes the rules).
The noise for TV could be enhanced with better mixing of the crowd noise. Don't just mic up the whole crowd and expect to hear any kind of nuance.
As for banning it; how about we go to South America and Spain and ban the drums, go to the UK and ban any songs that have offensive words in them, and so on. Banning them is not a great idea as despite the relative newness of the tradition (remember that a lot of South Africa is new) it is something which we use to create a unity between us.
Right, that's my 2c.
As for the ball, they seem to do that every world cup. Don't know why.
And the stars? I think they'll turn up before too long. Acclimatisation to the ball, stands, atmosphere, etc. I think (hope) they'll feature.