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Not To Worry
I am reading on this site that many of my comedic friends are panicked that something will go haywire on election night; that the one who is supposed to win won't, that something will go terribly wrong -- racism, machines, a catastrophe -- something. I am here to say Do Not Worry. I always like to play the game "what's the worst that can happen?"
Well, let's say McCain wins and Sarah Palin takes over for Dick Cheney. I think it will be a smooth transition, we won't even miss a beat. Sure, she needs to bone up a bit on where the secure hiding places are and how to actually press the buttons that can fire the missiles that destroy the world, but this can be learned quickly. This is one of the advantages of video games. I haven't been to Wasilla, but I can't imagine they don't have Guitar Hero there. Then she has to learn, as she put it, to run the senate, and again, a few visits and she ought to get the hang of it. Watching an old clip of her doing local sports in Alaska made me comfortable that she can improvise when necessary. Her other jobs, like ceremonial obligations, she can learn on the way to the foreign country where she will attend whatever function. The good thing about no longer having the Concord is that these flights still take ten hours and you can learn most of what you need to on the plane.
As far as McCain, his hero status should put the world in its place. He has already shown how brilliant he was when he suspended his campaign and took the failing economy into his own hands and as soon as he fires the head of the SEC things should return to normal. Is Charles Keating out of prison? Am I the first one to suggest a possible replacement for Paulson?
His age is a little worrisome, I grant you, but with such a strong V.P. his health should not be an issue. If he is sharp enough to pick Palin after a five minute meeting, he obviously is sharp enough to know exactly what day to invade Iran. Also, because of him, I was able to fire my plumber who did a lousy job on our septic tank and even though I have not heard back from Joe, when he returns my call I can't imagine that he will be too expensive or smell bad.
So, all in all, I say relax. There are no such things as accidents and if the election is stolen it was meant to be and we will have two perfect people to lead our country officially into Armageddon.
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McCAIN-PALIN WILL NOT FOLLOW UP ON CHENEY CRIMES!
_________________________________________________
THIS IS A START - Suit against Cheney!
Find Out "..what exactly the administration has been doing with documents that belong not to the vice president, but to the American people."
We need to hear from ROVE, CHENEY, BUSH, RUMSFELD, and many others!
Military Contract Corruption: NO BID to Haliburton Subsidiary:
Charges $40 for every soldiers meal in Iraq!
Charges $99 for every soldiers load of laundry in Iraq!
These are verifiable facts and this is just the surface of a very corrupt military bid process.
Let's Review Republican Track Record!
Corruption in Crude Oil Price Speculation
Corruption on Wall Street
Corruption on Military Contracts
Corruption in "FAKE" War in Iraq
Corruption in De-Regulation
Corruption in Healthcare Spending
AND NOW
Corruption in ZogZigZag Polling!
Lets END THIS!
Vote for Obama-Biden TODAY or by Nov 4!
ok, now I am even more worried than before.
thats funny...it is true though. worrying about this is kinda useless. Sarah Palin was a strong choice. and if something bad were to happen during the presidency then she would take over. the only thing that is kinda odd is her lack of experiance. Obama pretty much has it though. I think its funny that everyone is freaking out so much about Palin. She is funny and lack experiance. But that could also be alot of fun to watch. If Mccain wins...
Albert: It brightened a rainy morning to see your name in these pages. Welcome to the dysfunctional family.
haha thats funny...it is true though. worrying about this is kinda useless. Sarah Palin was a strong choice. and if something bad were to happen during the presidency then she would take over. the only thing that is kinda odd is her lack of experiance. Obama pretty much has it though. I think its funny that everyone is freaking out so much about Palin. She is funny and lack experiance. But that could also be alot of fun to watch. If Mccain wins...
God bless you Albert Brooks! You made me laugh out loud and if you're really not worrying I'll try as well... it took two viewings to get the brilliance of "Looking For Comedy"... glad you're still the funniest man alive...
See Kip Williams's Profile
that's really, really funny. :-P
they get elected and Armageddon is exactly what we'll get.
Not to worry ? Except when you care about democracy, maybe :
http://e-blogules.blogspot.com/2008/09/change-is-coming-and-mac-will-fight-but.html
Albert, I love you man. When will your 70s albums be on iTunes? I was such a comedy geek in high school that I actually performed your Comedy Minus One album in front of my record player.
Your blog is funny, but please, make us another good movie.
Sarah Palin will be a great VP precisely because she will bring Jesus back to Washington. The real Jesus, not the inside the Beltway Jesus that spoke to George Bush. A McCain victory will let liberals know that God and Jesus exist for it will truly be a miracle and I believe in miracles. Get ready for your baptisms in the Potomac liberals.
And if McCain loses, what will it mean with respect to God and Jesus? Perhaps that Jesus doesn't want to be part of any such Palin scam as pretending to bring him back to DC?
(yawn)
For some reason this post reminds me of that old song, "Drop Kick Me Jesus Through the Goal Posts of Life.
The real Jesus was a Middle Eastern man with dark features who wanted to take money away from the rich and give it to the poor. He said that a rich man very rarely gets into heaven.
So Jesus isn't in Washington, hasn't been in Washington? I thought his spirit was everywhere. Are you saying that all the fundamentalist Christians in Washington have been without Jesus for years? What other geographic areas has Jesus vacated? How does he do that?
O.K. let's all stop writing cute stuff and replies. Let's go knock on doors, help enter data, scream at the media to cover all the toxic waste being dumped on the media by the Elephants and work to get Obama elected. Leave no stone unturned, no person behind in the vote (good way to volunteer is to poll watch!)
Just DO IT!!
Agreed! Another very helpful thing to do is stand (at the legal distance) outside a polling place with a video camera, and record anyone coming out who was challenged, who couldn't vote but should have been able to, whose vote wasn't recorded, or who didn't understand the ballot (see article on NC) or voting process.
I look forward to seeing you at the polls harassing and intimidating people with your video cameras. It seems to me that you think the only way Obama can lose this election is if there are any number of voting abnormalities and problems. That is just ridiculous. He is perfectly capable for losing this on his own merits (or lack thereof).
Yup in Armageddon terms I think Palin is much worse than McCain. I don't think he really buys that stuff but she's herself a TRUE believer. Trash the planet and get raptured because each generation is too important in its own mind not feel the Apocalypse at hand. After me, the flood. That sort of ego. Of course we could be facing end times and in that case, I'd rather have a president who can keep his or her cool under pressure without showing some kind of erupting burbling rage, such as we see in McCain and Palin, higly and nicely and neurotically repressed until eruptions come.
Perhaps its just the fact that I am a democrat AND a lifelong Cubs fan, but I'm constantly waiting for the bottom to fall out for Obama in the next 8 days. So, sorry Mr. Brooks: your attempt to calm us down has only heightened the sense of impending doom. And by the way...don't think you've got me fooled...I know you once palled around with terrorists...you were in "Taxi Driver", weren't you?
Another thing you could have mentioned is that after the past 8 years the bar has been set so low, Joe the plumber could do the job... and that way Joe could finally be pulling in that $250K salary he was concerned about... and he could give himself another tax cut... on second thought, plumbers, white house, watergate - bad idea.
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