Death Cat

This is Oscar the Cat. Apparently, he can predict when old people are dying. Personally, I don't know why Oscar is getting so much praise. You want to know when this 70 year-old is going to die? Answer: Soon.

CNN has reported that this cat has been present for and predicted at least 25 deaths in the past two years. He's like a shorter, hairier Jack Kevorkian. His modus operandi works a bit like this: He'll curl up next some poor old person who was probably enjoying some delicious pudding and within hours, said person croaks. Can you imagine how terrified people are of this cat?! Now, the words "adorable" and "grim reaper" don't usually go hand in hand, but this case might be the exception.

Nurse: "How would you like to die, madam?"

Old lady: "Oh, I don't know. Adorably?"

Nurse: "Noted. Bring in the kitty!"

I love cats. I love them A LOT. However, I would rather spoon with Osama Bin Laden than ever have this cat even so much as meow in my direction. Also, and I don't be an alarmist, I find it a bit unsettling that no one has suspected foul play. I say we look into this. Actually, I say other people look into this. I don't want to be anywhere near that lovable death trap.

For more on this fluffy hairball of terror go here.