Fun Things to do on a Blind Date

• Talk about your pet's epilepsy in detail.
• Say you hate fun and also vacations and also laughter.
• Say you love pain and also Reggaeton and also Goebbels.
• If your date tells you their father died, follow with "can you elaborate?"
• Your allergies ARE fascinating.
• Right after you introduce yourself, call the cocktail waitress and order 5 shots of Jagermeister. Then nudge said waitress and say "I'm gonna need it" whilst pointing at your date.
• If you need to go to the toilet, do not excuse yourself. Just get up and leave. Then, text your date from the stall to let them know that it's gonna be a while since it's "number two".
• Ask them if they like babies. When they say they do, throw up.
• Mention "the judge" a lot. As in "the judge said" or "the judge ordered".
• Use the words "technically a minor".
• Tell them how happy you are that they met your best friend. When they ask who that is, point to a bottle of gin.
• Walk in doing a sudoku puzzle. Do not talk to them until you are done.