Remembering My Father
I would like to remember my father, Alexander Rae Baldwin, Jr. Born October 26th, 1927 in Brooklyn. NY. Died April 15th, 1983 after a battle with cancer.
A graduate of Boys High School in Brooklyn and Syracuse University, he served in the United States Marine Corps and was an expert marksman in riflery. He was honorably discharged for medical reasons after being shot, accidentally, during rifle instruction on Parris Island.
He returned to Syracuse University to attend law school, but dropped out and moved to Massapequa, Long Island, to begin his 28 year career as a public school teacher.
My dad taught "social studies," as they were referred to back then. History, economics, constitutional law, contemporary problems. My father taught them all. He was a much admired teacher during those years. So much so that, twice, the editors of the school yearbook dedicated their editions to him, a tribute normally reserved for faculty that had either died or retired. He coached football at the school. Led a cub scout troop. Coached Little League. And was coach of the Massapequa High School rifle team, which went to the New York State Public High School Athletic Association state riflery championship twice during his career. That honor was nearly always the reserve of upstate, and therefore more rural, schools. For a "downstate" school to win was considered impossible. My father's team won both times.
Years later, doctors informed me that the inhalation of lead dust from working in an unventilated rifle range may have contributed significantly to his death. On Parris Island in 1945, a bullet would not kill him. But bullets eventually did, at the age of 55, from lymph cancer that spread through his body.
As a father, he was tough and uncompromising. With six children, four of them boys, and little extra cash with which to spoil or bribe them, he implemented the "Fear Program." My brothers and I knew that any missteps of ours carried inevitable consequences. But he was more selfless and thoughtful than anyone I have known throughout my life. When my brother Daniel and I found out that local athletic champion Jimmy Luchsinger was teaching tennis at the nearby Marjorie Post Park, we sulked that we could never get the rackets we needed to participate. A day or two later, my dad came home from work and unwrapped two rackets, with the old wooden frames. He handed us the rackets and said, "If you miss one lesson, I'll be very upset with you."
As he did nearly every day I knew him, he switched on Huntley and Brinkley, lit his pipe and read the New York Times and Newsday, cover to cover. As he lay on the couch, I can remember the bottoms of his shoes with holes in them the size of half dollars. The man who would not resole his shoes had given us the rackets. That was my dad.
When he died, a part of me died as well. So many times in my life I could have used his advice. His wake at the local funeral home was mobbed with people. His funeral at our church in Amityville was overwhelming. In the intervening couple of years, I would ride the Long Island Rail Road and, on more than one occasion someone would say, "I had your dad as a teacher and he was a great man." Once in a while one would ask, "How is your dad?" and when I informed them that he had passed, some cried right there on the train.
My own experiences with fatherhood have been...complicated. But I always remember the words of my dad. "Fatherhood is a race between two people," he would say, "where the man always wins the bronze."
For all the fathers out there, biological, step or adoptive; gay or straight; divorced, single or married; rich, poor, unemployed, overworked, good at the barbecue, cuts his own lawn, spoils his kids, wishes he could: Happy Fathers Day. The one day you are awarded the gold.
Okay, the silver.
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Alec ... let me ask you a question ... are you attempting to become a politician or a modern day philosopher? I ask, because it seems your articles lean toward expressing deeper Truths, but the magnetism of political persuasion better fits the actor's persona ... Just curious!!!???!!!
Thank you Alec ... I too cried.
Alec....thank you for that. Mine died of Stomach Cancer in March of 1981. The doctors told my mother this type of cancer is more prevelant in the Far East. My father served as an Army Sargeant in Burma during WWII. We hold it inside but sometimes on Fathers Day, it is wonderful to remember the men all of our fathers are and were.
Alec, I will be very frank here. I hope you read these posts:
My wife and I laugh WITH you...alot. When I see a movie like The Edge, my mean side laughs AT you, and my wife gets mad at me for it.
....today, you made me cry.
HAPPY FATHERS DAY!!
For my dad, Ettore (Otto)
When I was 34 and married my wonderful Angel, I had two beautiful toolboxes filled with vintage and brand new tools and accessories! My dad, who is my hero, I miss him so very much, I know he is close by at times, kept my collection safe during the Vietnam era for me.
Throughout the years my collection dwindled with my brother-in-laws and father-in-law "borrowing" my tools. Eventually all I was left with was one of the toolboxes and it was empty except for a couple of screws and some nails. That finally disappeared as well.
I am 60 now. I no longer care about them and I wouldn't even want to have to use one now. And its not because I am not in shape or anything like that, okay? I can admire a beautiful, machined, shiny, metallic object as well as anybody!
No...now I enjoy walking to and through the Lake Shrine, the National Forest Park up the street, and an occasional and rare cup of coffee at the Starbucks in the village. I am waiting for my son to marry the wonderful girl he finally found and I hope he doesn't blow it! I want to help bring up my grand-babies!
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY
Thank you Alec for sharing your remembrance of your father with all of us. Without fathers we would not be who we are today! I myself am a father of a 16 year old boy and because we live so far away, get to see him for the first time in a year in two days. I am so excited. I just wanted to let you know I have been a fan of yours since your character role in The Hunt for Red October movie which inspired me to write. Not a very big name yet, but my son thinks I am famous and that is all that matters. Hopefully one day. Once again from a father to another, thank you for sharing your thoughts!
Your article made me cry, Alec. Loved hearing of you great respect and admiration of your Father.
My Father died 3 years ago. At his wake, men came up to me and said, "Your Father was the most decent business man they'd ever done business with", and, "Your Dad was a real gentleman", and, "John Sharkey was a class act."
I'm telling you this because of your great interest in politics and the state of this country--to know of other great fathers---ones who suffered anguish from the 8 years of the Bush administration, and Wall Street corruption. No one is going to say those great things at their wakes about any of them.
It's a good thing your Father didn't experience the Bush administration. And it's too bad my Father didn't experience Obama.
Proper Fathers and Mothers love their children although, they may not always like them.
Since that is something about which they have a choice.
Very touching. Thanks for sharing your Dad's life with us.
A really nice, heartfelt story, thanks Alec!
You are remarkable.
He must have been a remarkable man to raise a family of 4 boys who all became actors and are all as different from each other as strangers. I can hardly believe Stephen is related to Alec. If they didn't look alike, I'd think one of them was adopted. Alec is a bigger box office draw anyway so :P. But this isn't about politics. Happy Father's Day! :) That part about the worn shoe soles made my eyes water a little bit.
What a nice father's day story. My Dad was also a Marine who later became a much respected teacher....and there are four brothers in my family, also. Four competitive brothers. Our dad is old now and may not be around much longer. He was very successful in his field and could've been wealthy or even famous, but chose to spend his time and money helping everyone in our big extended family, buying houses for relatives, taking in students or family who were having problems and helping people get back on their feet. He loved our mom and always had time to laugh.......Not that it was easy living up to someone like that. He started organizations and programs that are now well known institutions, including a program at a college that's still turning out successful graduates.... things that would've been accomplishments for someone with real resources, let alone a guy who started life in brutal poverty and went to 13 different grammar schools. But when I see people claiming to be "self made" , "natural leaders" or caring about "family values" I have the satisfaction of knowing someone who never needed to talk about that stuff. He just lived it. Every day.
Happy Fathers Day, happy anniversary, dado. Hogs & kisses to you and mom.
Your Dad was great, 6 kids.. Your mom is a saint as well. I find myself putting my kids needs before mine all the time, its what we do. A friend of mine was going through a similar issue with custody so I recommended your book. I read it as well.. They way you fight for her she will , when she is older, realize how much love that takes..It is so much easier to give in. In the long run... your daughter will appreciate everything you fought for. Your a great dad too.
Interesting I had a dad like Alec Baldwin. Born in 1928. Provided for his children while denying himself pants without holes. Or maybe he was too busy working to worry about shopping.
Probable cause of his cancer was exposure to asbestos. But it took years to kill him.
News junkie. We still have his huge satellite dish in the yard that he had to have to get news from everywhere. Now it's a hanger for bird feeders.
No bad habits. Ultra liberal. Funniest person I ever knew. Made us laugh every day.
What a gift for a girl to have such a dad. He reserved one word for those he thought highly of - "gem".
My dad was a one-of-a-kind gem. Been 7 years since he died and he can still make me laugh.
Happy Father's Day Sherwood Dean Stuckmayer - the McGyver of Butternutknoll, who aimed the Buick downhill, chained a tree stump to the bumper, placed a rock on the accelerator and chopped at the stump with an axe.
um--gotta ask--what happened with that Buick-stump deal? Did he have a way to catch it before the stump pulled loose?
I'm worried about a potentially smashed-up Buick at the bottom of the hill--which would put a different spin on your description of your dad.
But either way, I like the idea of a 'find a way or make one' approach to life; to be the 'McGyver' of any place where you live is high praise--but in this case, is a cherry on top of a larger serving of sweet appreciation.
(er, sorry--that last metaphor isn't quite right, but you know what I mean)
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