I don't know what the best perspective is on the gay marriage issue. I don't know what to say to people to convince them that the issue of individual rights alone is enough to grant gay couples the right to marry. We live in a time when the idea of individual rights has been relegated to a quaint afterthought during the realignment of American values resulting from the current brawl between capitalism and democracy.
One perspective, however, keeps coming back at me. Fundamentalists believe that marriage is between a man and a woman and for the purpose of creating a family. A gay couple is incapable of having their own children, they assert, so they do not qualify to be married. But what of heterosexual couples who marry with no intention of having children. Beyond any issues of infertility or illness, there are men and women who are married in the eyes of the state, enjoying all of the legal benefits, who have no intention of having children. They seek only companionship and all of the entitlements that come with marriage. Sex, joy, partnership, caring. All of that is theirs, even though they will never bear children and willfully so. If the state says they are free to do that, why aren't gay couples, as well.
This country denies gay couples that right only by asserting that gay Americans do not have the exact same rights as those deliberately childless straight couples. And that is to say that homosexuality itself is illegal. Opponents would have to say that they do not want gay couples to enjoy the same lifestyle as straight couples who refuse to have children because gay Americans are not entitled to have the sex, joy, partnership and caring that their straight counterparts have. They would, therefore, have to outlaw homosexuality itself. Either that or outlaw every single marriage wherein that couple refuses to raise a family. One or the other. That's it. No other choice.
Do you think this society is prepared to outlaw homosexuality? Even with all the fear and hatred of homosexuals that some groups promulgate today? Think about that. Think about the effort and cost involved to argue that case. To write and manifest those laws. To prosecute them and punish the "transgressors." Will our society similarly outlaw childless heterosexual marriage? Of course not. That is ridiculous in the extreme. Ridiculous and wrong.
Once you embrace this basic idea, the rest of the argument falls into place. Gay couples are free not only to marry, but to create families in every way that heterosexual couples who cannot bear their own children do. Adoption, surrogacy, etc.
One does not have to possess one molecule of identification with the gay cultural or political experience in this country to believe that gay Americans have the right to marry. Such a stance is not similar to saying, "I always wanted to play the piano so I favor government scholarships for music study." You do not need to have one ounce of affinity for gay people in our society whatsoever to recognize that they are being shamefully wronged every day we allow this to continue.
Sally Maslansky: The Importance of Mother's Day for the Adopted
Since it has been made such a religious issue, If you do not profess christianity and salvation then are you required to up hold the life standards that is meant to set Christians apart, one of which being marriage? Or is marriage a natural law? The people saying gay marriage is wrong, how many cheat on their spouses, lie, have hate for another person? Who are they to accuse anyone of wrong doing? I'm going to drop the "s" word here but every sin is the same in the eyes of God. Not one of us is not guilty of falling short everyday. Should a gay couple get unionized or married, adopt or have children? Thats up to them. Should a gay couple who profess christianity do the same? I believe they should really search out what God requires of them as Christians, then make that decision. Its not black and white. Next time a very vocal person gets on their soap box about gay marriage being against God ask them if they have asked to be forgiven for judging other today.
Then I saw an HBO documentary about a gay couple (men) who adopted 4 hiv positive black children. They were talking about how these kids were pretty much "non adoptable" because of their conditions and the state they lived in still fought these men in raising these kids. I could not think of anything worse, if they are providing a permanent loving stable home for kids who may not make it out of their teens, why would anyone want to deny them ? Gay people should be able to adopt in my opinion, they should be subject to the same guidelines as everyone else (which should be stricter across the board in terms of keeping people from abusing the kids), but they should not be judged any harsher than anyone else.
By the way, my husband was trying to get our 6 year old to eat potatoes the other night and he snubbed his nose at them. Then my husband tells him "my potatoes are famous, people ask me for the recipe all the time". My son turns to him and says "is it so they can make the people eat them on i'm a celebrity get me outta here?"
So let's talk about the real issue - money. Once again, our rights as US citizens are being dictated by corporate america. Think about the ramifications of legalizing gay marriage to the insurance industry - just to name one business sector. Think about how much more in insurance payouts (healthcare, life insurance).
And, if we are talking about the oldfashioned view of marriage - well .. then we should also discuss how marriage was not about love and creating a "family". Marriage was a tool that men used to buy a bride to procreate his work force for his farm. So this notion of ruining the institution of marriage by legalizing gay marriage is laughable to me.
I'm married but without children. But we enjoy each other and love each other so why can't gay people experience the same thing? That's messed up.
They never mention their ultimate demand for access to technology to enable them to have children together, they pretend its just about hospital visitation and other red herrings like that. But just ask them if they accept a law against genetic engineering. Ask them if they accept that people should have a right with someone of the other sex that they would not have with someone of the same sex. Their answer will indicate that they actually demand equal procreation rights.
Seems to me that you may actually work for the company developing this technology, and you are attempting some stealth promotion.
Marriage itself pre-dates organized religion and recorded history, and anthropological evidence suggests that the roots of marriage lie in exclusive sexual rights and paternity - we can tell who the mother is, but how to we tell who the father is? We create a contract that exchanges exclusive sexual access and rights to children with support and other benefits. Many early (and not so early cultures) had very strict punishments for women who strayed outside the bounds of her marriage to further protect those paternity rights.
Marriage has a sordid past and even today in our more enlightened age, girls are sold or given against their will into marriages they don't want. Our divorce rates are outrageous and I've listened to people argue against a committed homosexual couple who have been together for 20 years being allowed to get married who themselves have been divorced 2 or more times.
There is no "sanctity of marriage" - it is up to each individual couple to hold their marriage sacred and the ability and desire to do that has no boundary in sexual orientation or race or religion.
It is an attempt by homosexuals to main stream themselves. they want to be normal. they think marrage will make them normal. it wont . I feel sorry for them ,but the right to marry will not solve their problems. i agree with everything you said Rahab.
We should not let people procreate with someone of their same sex, it will lead to all sorts of bad things. We should preserve natural conception and only let people procreate with their unmodified genes, and therefore with someone of the other sex.