I am Freaking the F--K Out

I am not a very political person. I mostly vote Democrat, but I'm not a psycho about it. If there's a good Republican out there, sure, I'll vote for him. I certainly have never been vocal about the political process before now. As you can see, my only other article on HuffPo is about sperm donation and the legacy system at Harvard, a decidedly apolitical topic. But there's something happening to me and to countless others this election season. Partisan fury is welling up inside me. I feel myself being polarized. I can't discuss politics without getting really angry. I can't watch Palin or McCain on TV without yelling. I am literally losing sleep over this race. In short, I am freaking the fuck out.

Lately, I spend about two hours a day cruising the political blogs. I've even started commenting, as if anyone cares to read the anonymous opinions of some random schmuck. But when I read say, the transcript of Palin's acceptance speech ("We grow good people in our small towns, with honesty, sincerity, and dignity." Could that be more generic? Didn't Aunt Bee say that exact same thing on The Andy Griffith Show?), I feel that I am obligated to make my voice heard -- just as I feel that I am obligated to write this article today. I have become a political spaz. I've already given Obama money, my first ever political contribution. I post tons of Daily Show videos on my Facebook page and I constantly email articles around to my friends. But is that enough? I feel like I'm on a cruise ship sailing through a bay full of icebergs, and half the passengers want their hunting buddy Jessup to steer the boat because he's a swell guy. What the hell is wrong with America?

The other day, I hysterically called my friend John. He's the press secretary for a Democratic congressman, and so I assume he knows all things political.

"We're going to lose this thing," I yelped, my voice squeaking like a 15 year-old boy.

"They're sliming us, and we're not doing anything about it. And where the hell is Hillary Clinton? Why isn't she hitting Sarah Palin back about this ridiculous lipstick thing? If she thinks she can sit on her hands and I'm going to vote for her in 2012, she's out of her goddamned mind!"

I panted for a moment, trying to regain my composure. "I need to do something about this! Why aren't you doing something about this? Aren't you a Democrat? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"You need to take a deep breath," he replied a little too calmly. "This is how these things work. They've gotten a few shots in, but come Monday, the press won't even be talking about it. Stay calm. The election is still a long way off."

"I swear, if Obama loses this thing, I'll leave the party."

"Leave the party? You aren't even in the party."

I thought about that for a moment. Was I in the party? I'm registered as a Democrat, so I guess that makes me 'in' the party. "Yes. I'll leave the party. And so will all the idealistic youth who have gotten involved in the political process for the first time. Do you even understand the stakes? This is the most important election of our lifetime."

"It sounds like you're reading the promos for MSNBC."

"Yeah? Well you sound like you're reading the promos for... Idiot-TV." It wasn't my best work ever, but I was so upset that I couldn't think clearly.

"Just relax. The election is still a long way away. This is just one news cycle. You can't freak out over every blip in the polls. If you were playing baseball, you wouldn't get hysterical every time the other team got a hit, would you?"

This gave me pause. I like sports analogies. "So you're saying that I should save the hysteria for the 4th quarter?"

"I'd say 9th inning, to stay within the baseball analogy. But, yes, you have the general idea."

I took a deep breath and felt marginally better. The people of America still have time to come to their senses. They've lived through the last 8 years of Bush just like I have, so they're bound to come to the sane conclusion. Right? They don't want 4 more years of that. Why would they? I mean, I have to believe that millions of Americans won't really support the 2008 equivalent of Governor Tarkin (Star Wars reference. Google it.), will they? No. They won't. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go give some more money to Obama's campaign because even after venting my frustrations here, I am still freaking the fuck out.

Alec Brownstein is a writer and director living in New York City. You can see more of his work at www.alecbrownstein.com

Comments

[georgiaeliot]

amen brother - I'm on a poptart diet and can't get any work done.
As MLK said - the arc of history is long but it bends toward justice.

[reader39]

I spent so much time in front of my computer/watching tv last week that my neighbor literally checked on me to make sure I hadn't been murdered. Seriously. She normally sees me coming and going in the evenings but didn't see me for DAYS so she thought I was dead in the house. I can't wait for this election to be over.

[Pupadup4oBama]

I have to say - i, myself, have been slightly obsessed with this campaign too...however, the sky is NOT falling, chicken little...:) I have complete faith that my candidate will win this election - he'll win it with a PARTNER and not just a pandering tool.
That's not to say we should get complacent - but as your friend said - relax!

[budderbean]

Is this for real? I get anxious about all of this stuff to.. I am already on social security for being a CERTIFIED nut job. I sit at home all day switching back and forth with the remote (brain and thumb hurt)
The only thing that keeps me half sane besides my status as a test pilot for the drug industry is the Daily show an Colbert. Man what a ride this has been.

Being that I am a Christian, I ask myself how in the world could so many lies be told for the purpose advancing the far right and their agenda? There seems to be a contradiction between doing anything to save a fetus on one hand because it is Gods will. And then to lie to promote their cause.. It seems that A lie is no longer a sin. This will be the fly in the ointment. What really concerns me is the willful lies being told. How can I as a Christian walk down the street with my head held high.

I have NOT forgotten the basics of ALL religions.. Truth. God is the power behind our freedoms in this country. If'n you go against the basics of faith to prove your faith you end up walking in the darkness of the world rather in the power and light of God.

[PeaceOnEarth62]

I'm with you buddy. I thought I was the only one. I am completely obsessed with Obama winning this campaign. If the McC/Palin ticket wins this, I will feel as hopeless as I did when the planes hit the WTC in 2001. The day the world was forever changed. I knew it as soon as I saw it and I kept my kids home from school that day.

Keep the money and support rolling in for Obama and we can hope to wake up on November 5 to a bright new future.

I hope.

[coco/seattle]

OMG ... This is the best post ... Succinctly describes my feelings ... Being embarrassed in front of a group of friends is one thing ... But if McBush and Palin are elected, I also will feel embarrassed in front of the world ... Any suggestions for a new country to relocate, please send to me

[PeaceOnEarth62]

British Columbia is nice.

[Konnie]

right there with ya....................i spend a great deal of my time screaming at pundits on the tv,
lecturing my choir, and privately planning where i will go if America goes bat-sh*t crazy.

I am waiting for Mr. Calm/Reasonable/Non-threatening Obama and Mr. Nice Biden to
go for the juggler............The repubs are pandering to their base, when are our guys
going to pander to us - the angry ones, the scared ones? No one has brought up
the Supreme Court. That should be a top talking point. Everything we hold dear is
hanging by 3 really old people..........3 senior citizens that really want to retire, but
have been hanging in there for 8 years...........waiting, praying for a Democcrat to
replace them.

i am putting my faith in the 20,000,000 cell phone only folks that do not have
land lines, and cannot be polled. i read that could be as much as a 3% add
for Obama's lead.........from my keyboard to God's ears..........

[Alec Brownstein - Huffpost Blogger]

Someone also told me that new registrants are not included in the poll. Is that the case?

[obamadeus]

I'm living abroad, and the only American news channels I get are CNN and Fox, and I have the TV on in the background all day. I have to use pay-per-minute dialup internet, so I load a bunch of blogs, log off to read them, log back on and repeat the process for a few hours.

[alecbrownstein]

I'll try to keep my next post short, so you won't have to long on for too long!

[obamadeus]

I feel you! I thought I was the only one. My friends think I'm crazy! I think I may need therapy if McCain wins.

[Alec Brownstein - Huffpost Blogger]

What should be the name of our condition? Palinitis? McCain Syndrome?

[PeaceOnEarth62]

McCainlinitis. Fatal.

[jennyjen]

Maybe we can get a group discount? I am leaning towards a nice cave on an island somewhere if McCain is elected. The thought of us being embarrassed in front of the entire world for electing 2 extremely limited thinkers to save the world from financial and nukular destruction is just too much.

I am waking up every morning thinking that I must have had a crazy dream the night before.

Having said that - I am feeling better about things this past week.

I am loving that Katie Couric and Tina Fey showed the country that emperor palin has no clothes.

Check out this link - Obama is trending up all across the country.

http://pollster.com/

[alecbrownstein]

I'm also beginning to feel a bit better. McCain pulling out of Michigan was a real pickmeup.

[mamacat]

I have been around a little while. I stuffed envelopes for Adlai Stevenson's campaign, even though I liked Ike. I campaigned for Eugene McCarthy, and I got beaten up by rioting police protesting for civil rights and an end to the Vietnam War. But, I have never in my lifetime been as scared as I am this election. The neo-cons really and truly have hijacked the Republican party, and they really and truly don't give a damn about the welfare of our country or of the world. They just want to keep their hands on control of our government so they can keep raping us over and over again.

I listened to Biden say in the "debate" that he learned a long time ago not to impugn the motives of opposition Senators. That may have been generally true at one time, and it may be true of a few remaining GOP Congresspeople, but by now the neo-cons have weeded out most of the principled Republicans and replaced them with hardline stooges. I too have voted for a few good Republicans over the years, but they have almost all gone to their graves, and those who have replaced them are of an entirely different mold.

I too am f*#king scared, and I think we all should be.

- a veteran for Obama

[yesshespeaks]

Lets see here. I don't have cable so I only get the local channels. But my eyes are always glued on this computer. Let me just introduce myself. I am yesshespeaks and I am an election-holic, HuffPost-holic and I'm freaking the F*** out too. I've gone through this in past elections and just given up right about this time in the cycle. But I'm not giving up this time. I will persevere......and then check myself into detox on November 5th.

[Pupadup4oBama]

Now THAT's the way to do it!!! :)
Binge until the election!

[Ashura]

You echo my sentiments exactly. I feel like the guy in the zoolander movie "i feel like i'm taking crazy pills"! I mean come on people McCain is 72 and didn't he have skin cancer or something? He's a crotchetty old man who might die of a heart attack and leave an idiot as PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES! She thinks homosexuality is a choice, she believes abortion should be illegal even for victims of rape and incest, she doesn't believe in contraception and comprehensible sex ed (her own underage daughter is pregnant hm wonder why), and to top it off she will have the security codes to our nukes and she can't even pronounce the damn word right it's NUCLEAR NOT NUCULAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ELS1976]

-- I feel like the guy in the zoolander movie "i feel like i'm taking crazy pills"!

You have no idea how many times that phase has actually come out of my mouth during this election cycle. I've become a political junkie and have in fact gotten into arguments with people who are on my side (usually over the source of their news and the common use of "they say"...who are they?)

[hopefulinpa]

This article could have been written by me! I am going to go through withdrawal when this whole thing is over. I watch the TV first thing in the morning and it is one right after work... MSNBC.. I don't like Morning Joe though or Pat Buchanan. Not that crazy about Hardball, but love Keith and Rachel and love reading the Huffington Post!

[Pupadup4oBama]

I wonder what's going to happen to all the political comedians?

[hopefulinpa]

OMG this article could have been written by me.. I am going to go through withdrawal when this whole thing is over!