05/03/2007 01:49 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

Other Ways To Describe the Role of the President

Now that George W. Bush has officially changed his self-administered title from "The Decider" to "The Commander Guy", I thought I might take this as an opportunity to suggest a few other euphemisms the president might use to describe his duties with a little bit more panache.

Big Chief

Captain America

Leadership Jones

Suit and Tie Serious Guy

The Nuclear Beholder

The Man With the Plan, But Not Really

Charles In Charge

Lord of War


The Dude Whose Finger Is On the Button

John Wayne Misslefist, The Thunder Warrior

Old Speechmaker

Big Boss Man

The Man Upstairs

He Whose Name Shall Not Be Remembered Very Fondly