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Alex McCord

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Baby Name or Weapon of Mass Humiliation?

Posted: 05/29/2012 3:18 pm

What's the worst thing you've ever let your older child do to the younger one? Ours are two years apart, so we let the older one stay up later, we let him have my old iPhone to use as a wireless device and yes, we sometimes give in to his requests because, at 8 years old, he's a more sophisticated negotiator than the 6-year-old. When he was 4, we let him name the fish someone gave us. Why? Because he came up with a name faster than his little brother did. (Calvin, as in Hobbes, in case you wondered.)

Yes, I believe in letting kids name things. Pets, stuffed animals... no problem. But another child? What was this mom smoking? In this week's episode of Coffee Shop Confessions, a mom let her toddler name the new baby, and he predictably chose a name he loved: SpongeBob.

In our family, baby names were settled as soon as we found out the child's gender -- both of our kids were named after family members and the discussions took all of five minutes. But if I were this mom and were somehow backed into a corner by my evil step-son, I'd happily make up a fake birth certificate. Maybe even legally name the baby Robert. Or if that were no good, provide the kid with a list of popular cartoon character names that would be less likely to provoke a playground riot. Phineas, Charlie, Lola, Diego, Max, Ruby, Peppa... the list goes on. We don't live in Sweden, where there's a legal precedent against cartoon character names, but as this mom confessed her story on CafeMom I'm surprised she hadn't seen The Rules - particularly #20, which recommends "no free brand endorsements."

 
 
 

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