Cats on Keyboards and Job Hunting Online

Thump! It's 6:56 in the morning and my husband Simon has been attacked by a hammerhead shark. Not to be outdone, the Madge cat grabs the shark by the head and attempts to chew its eyes out. Five minutes previously, François somnambulated his way into our bedroom with the shark in question (stuffed, of course,) and sleepily piped up "Cats don't eat sharks." Another morning in this crazy household begins.

Over the last month there's been plenty of stress, but gradually I've begun to feel calmer. Although I'm not completely sure whether we've passed Hurricane Layoff or whether we're in the eye, the internal nonsense is beginning to clear out. My hands are still attached to my arms, the family is alive and well and things really aren't so dire. Today I can sit at my new laptop, eat home-made potato salad and smile when the cat tries to lie down on the keyboard or climb into my hair rather than pushing her away.

Life changes wreak havoc on your day-to-day existence. Whether it's a lay-off, a birth/marriage/death, a major renovation or any number of other things, change happens and when it does life gets stressful. I still can't quite believe that we went from a major renovation to the holidays to the premiere of our second season to my layoff all in one seamless arc. I'm just now catching my breath, as my husband is his.

All in all, the last few weeks have been on a upward trajectory. From the layoff at the end of February, I slowly crawled into a feeling of normalcy - even though I'm luckier than most in that the loss of my job didn't mean our financial world was coming to an end. That gradually improving outlook allowed me to be coherent as opportunities presented themselves.

Our world changes so quickly. Do you remember a time before the internet? The Mac I so proudly generated our grade school newspaper on in 1985 has morphed into the slick laptop under my fingers now, with wireless connectivity. The Performa or whatever it was that I took to Northwestern with me in 1991 had 4 MB of RAM. My current baby has 4 GB. Is there a point here? Just that we have to be sure that we are staying current with communication. If you're not changing, you're not growing. Case in point - recently I had a great interview for what looks like will be my next act, work-wise. How did the initial point of contact come about? Would you believe Facebook?! You never know where your next opportunity will come from. If you are looking for work, still do all the things you think of doing, such as responding to classifieds and looking at websites of companies you'd like to work with. Also, open yourself up to avenues you may not have thought about before. Whether it's a social networking site like Facebook or a career-oriented one like LinkedIn, why would you not get yourself and your resume out into a place where many, many potential colleagues and bosses are every day? The very first piece of advice given at the career transition center was go forth and get online!

What do you like to do? How can you make a living doing exactly that? When I take a look at my friends and family, there's a common thread at play. Everyone I know who is successful loves what they do. The few that are struggling do not.

One obstacle that I've been dealing with lately as I embark on the next phase of my working life is office space at home. It's very tempting given our six-month-old renovation to want to sit at my kitchen island and make coffee and tea all day while I write & design. What could possibly be wrong with that? Just that when my big boys come home from school and see Mommy in the kitchen, they want to grab me by the hand, tell our nanny she can knock off early and head straight for the park. On a few occasions we've done just that; however, just because I'm not in an office building in Midtown doesn't mean I'm not on deadline. Work-at-home parents know exactly what I'm talking about here - it's easy enough to pet the cat and swat her away, but it breaks your heart to tell your smiling 3 year old that you can't stop working to go ride Big Wheels outside.

Luckily, we have a basement where we're setting up an office. As soon as I reset my wireless router password I'll be able to go down there and work uninterrupted on deadline. Assuming I can find said password. Then we'll have the "door is closed; Mommy's working" time and "door is open; come in" time. In the mean time, there's a shark puppet 5 inches from my keyboard, which actually gives me an idea for a design....

Comments

[merger]

You are awesome. I love your post. You and your husband are always so full of optimism, joy, and peace. I also am a faithful viewer of Real Housewives NYC. All my best to you and yours. You go girl!!!

[hotseat]

Alex, try to relax and if possible, work from home, stay with the kids. Either that or if possible arrange for Simon to stay home, party-time. You'll never regret the time at home.

Worked for me and hubby, in fact, both our careers are much-improved because we spent time at home.

Best to you and the family.

[sski74]

I have to say, I was skeptical about reading a blog from a "Housewife"...but this proves that TV editing is everything. Alex is clearly an intelligent, well spoken, creative woman, and inspiring as well. She is not just the socialite shopaholic the show portrays her to be. I wish her all the best in her new career.

[Pema]

Alex. I really enjoy reading your blogs here. If you have any tips for keeping the cats off the keyboards, please let me know., I have come to the conclusion it is jealousy, my cat at least thinks i am petting the keyboard and not him. He is a ferral rescue and his love tank is never full, so I type best when he is sleeping in the other room, and I can sneek off for a rendesvous with my laptop.

[Chaimirija]

What is so wrong with taking the time to be with your children while they are young?

There will come a time when they will not want to grab you by the hand. Take advantage of the time you have with them NOW

[cloudminder]

PS I wish you would put in a lap pool in your place in Brooklyn- could be beautiful

and the whole Brooklyn thing is actually quite chic-

http://nymag.com/news/people/18842/index4.html

did Simon have any thoughts about Heath Ledger etc-- that must have been very sad - fellow aussies and all.

[cloudminder]

"it's easy enough to pet the cat and swat her away, "

really?! you obviously do not have a Burmese--

I think these are pretty simple problems that you reference above-- get the new ip mapping and then put needlpoint "mommy's working" on the office door handle--

the real story begins when the hubby resents having it fall on him to be "on"
the real story begins when the boys don't respect the closed door
the real story begins when the teacher sends a note saying things are not getting done, or behavior issues
the real story begins when you start to prefer the time in the office rather than deal with "the outside"

the above are real problems that occur with a real home office
good luck and I hope to hear more about the REAL problems

oh, and congrats on getting all those free home appliances in the renovation of your home- i guess it helps to have a reality show with General Electric

but I don't like the red and black chandelier in the red room - there are so many other alternatives - hopefully you find something more attractive along the way and decide to replace it. The lucite lamps in that room also are a little stark- but I love the Alice Cooper and even the window treatments-- thought I wouldn't .

[Melanie Whaley]

I am rooting for you and I feel confident that you will wind your way through this new path with much success. Success being defined as “enlightenment” (such as it is) and finding other ways to fulfill your passions. So many of us are going through great arcs, as you put it. Mine started with lung cancer moved into grass roots organizer for the presidential campaign, then economic realities due to our economy, and finally full time blow out trying to promote Plant a Row for the Hungry. My point being there are so many of us out there that with all the stress and yet we feel lighter at times for what these changes create in our souls.

[Pavane]

I like cats. Cats are good.

[Cardiogirl]

You sent me back to the mid-80s so fast I have whiplash.

I, too, proudly ran our high school newspaper while typesetting everything on a teeny, tiny Mac. I believe it was one of the first ones out -- the one with a six-inch screen.

It is difficult trying to balance parenting with working and it's nice to see you've focused on the previously unrealized benefits of your lay off -- more time to notice the cat's whiskers and your boys' stuffed animals.

Good luck on finding your bliss.