Laid off? Update Your Resume and Take Time to Admire the Gold Sparkly Drag Queen

I thought I'd gotten out. A little over two years ago, I was doing our tax prep. Although I'd had a great year creatively, with 3 films either in festivals or theatrical release, TV work and a challenging play, my reward for that was less than 1/16 of my husband's salaried income that year. Shortly thereafter, Simon and I had a long conversation over many drinks. I was beyond tired of fighting for film parts I didn't even want, going to parties in the city or (yes) the Hamptons to chat up directors and producers in the hopes of finally landing a breakout role. I turned to my other life, my at that time 9+ year graphic design career, and decided that it was time to get a job. I'd had many rewarding jobs in the graphics field throughout my time in NYC, but for the first time I was going to put all my energy into one thing. Within two weeks I had the perfect job with a great company and a top notch salary at just the right time. Johan was 14 months old and in the process of weaning himself. The time was right and I leaped.

Going to work in a retail corporate headquarters is a little bit like being shot from a cannon every morning, and I ate it up. There was nothing I liked more than to dive into a project with a venti latte at 9am only to come up for air at around 1pm with a growling belly and cold coffee. Yes, I do eat a normal lunch every day, just not until I notice I'm hungry! My work was very detailed with lots of room for creative flexing -- my passions were fed, and fed well. I was happier, and it showed. Instead of looking around for industry professionals to meet at parties, I concentrated on enjoying where I was; a welcome change. It's more fun to first admire the gold sparkly drag queen at the party rather than wonder immediately if she has a script for you.

All of a sudden, producers from a series I'd screen-tested for a year prior called. They had a green light, a full cast, a crew and were ready to roll. Our lives had completely changed due to me going back to work full time. Did we really want to do this? The producers worked hard to convince us. It was a reality show, so wouldn't take up as much time as a drama. They'd film evenings, weekends and basically not get in the way. After much argy-bargy we said, "What the hell," and began a journey that continues today.

It's all well and good to film a reality show, but who knew it would be the monster hit it's become? My life took on sort of a split personality, which kind of worked as I'm a Libra. During the day I was worker Alex and upon leaving the building morphed into mom, wife and reality star Alex. I chuckled when co-workers occasionally brought in show posters or asked if other people on the show were really as they seemed in celluloid, but beyond that the office was my green zone. So it happened, until my layoff almost three weeks ago.

In that time I've been busy as hell, but somehow the time has been filled up with not much. After the initial shock and weekend, I "took some time to process" which is a polite way of saying I did nothing. Well, that's not exactly true -- I appeared on Mike & Juliet to weigh in on the Rihanna/Chris debacle with a side of the First Lady's forearms, and also began to update my resume. Everything's current, if not up-to-trend as per the latest resume styles. For that my company graciously provided time with a career transition service, and I began with the orientation session last week.

It's disconcerting to go into an office where everyone except the staff is looking for work. Prior to heading in I wondered if the air would smell of desperation and if everyone would be looking around furtively, protectively, and viewing all others as a potential threat to their job search. Oh wait, this isn't an acting audition full of wannabe gangsters, it's a corporate career center. I did see some of the furtive glances but not too many.

Apparently doing "not much" the first few days beyond dusting off the resume is exactly right -- though I'm not sure I believe that. I also checked the NY Times job section and discovered that in January a luxury retailer was looking for someone who did exactly what I do and thought -- "Great, the perfect next job was available 2 months before I was. Now what?" Bringing this up in orientation yielded a somewhat helpful response -- it turns out that surfing classifieds is also a good way to start, if nothing else than to get a feel for the language used in the ads to describe what you do, to then write your resume. So, I'm supposedly on the right track. A one-on-one meeting this week with a counselor yielded, "At what point do you tell people you're on a show?" Answer as of today is, "When you feel it's right." Thanks.

What makes this different than other job searches? When I walked into the career center, people recognized me. "Wow, you were laid off too? It really can happen to anyone." There have been hundreds of wonderful people who've written words of support on my Facebook page, and outreach from surprising places as well. From the star of another network show to the company who wants to do a luggage line to the agent who suggested the panel circuit and back to the happy news that my graphic design skills are portable across many industries...there are quite a few interesting suggestions. My method at this point is to talk to and follow up with everyone -- you literally never know where the next job/income source/path in life will come from.

At the same time, I'm enjoying a marginally less hectic schedule. I'm having lunch with people whom I've wanted to for a year. I'm really loving school drop off without having to throw the kids in the door and blast away at Mach 2, although in the afternoon it's a bit hard to write emails to colleagues when Johan turns up with a dripping red paintbrush wanting to know if he can decorate my monitor. I've taken the time to read the insane Real Housewives episode recaps on Gawker and wonder what would happen if Richard were tied to Maureen Dowd and left in a small room. I didn't immediately judge myself and think "Snap out of it," when I read about Natasha Richardson's accident and got a little emotional. Although I'm not where I want to be right now, at least I can feel, and in these times, that's as good a place as any to start. Once a week I'll post here and let you know how it's going.

Comments

[Pippilotta]

Hooray, middle class reality finally hits a reality "star".

[Punkynsnow]

I don't mean to seem snarky and I'm sure Alex's dismissal was upsetting to her from a profession­al/creativ­e standpoint, but she's got a super-wealthy husband and a tv career. She didn't have to worry about holding on to her house or feeding her family or not being able to afford health insurance.

When I lost my design job (10 years at the same company, 30+ in the graphics field) I found myself out of money and out of options. No wealthy hubby to cushion the blow, and in a bad economy a lot of competition for fewer and fewer jobs. I had one asset, my house, which I was lucky to sell. I had to leave NY for a less expensive part of the country and am retraining for a new career in the medical field. Hopefully I'll find employment again before the last of my money runs out.

I consider myself was more fortunate than many of my colleagues who worked paycheck to paycheck and had nothing to fall back on when they were let go, no house to sell, little or no savings, and no job prospects on the horizon. These are desperate times for so many in our society.

Fortunately for her, Alex lives in a different strata and won't have to worry about losing her home and health insurance like the rest of us. I don't know if she realizes how fortunate she really is.

[WallStreetNobody]

Super wealthy husband? Huh? Her husband works as a manager of a little hotel and they live in a dilapidated house in Brooklyn. They are far from wealthy. Overstretched definitely. Under some ridiculous delusion that they are rich definitely. But in NY they are middle class at best.

[LondonTownNY]

Alex: You put a rather human face on something that is happening to many people here in New York City and across our country at the present time. This economic downturn is affecting people across the socioeconomic spectrum, including those who perhaps never had to worry about such things. My belief is surviving this downturn is in effect staying ahead. As frustrating as it may be none of us can take it personally. Instead we must be resourceful. By sharing your experience you will perhaps empower others to look at life a little differently.

[IMissAmerica]

I'm a fan of you and the show Alex, and delighted to see you here! You clearly are a woman of many talents. I know you won't let the haters get you down.

[drucelt]

BOO EFFIN HOO! Did we just not see you and dweebo hubby Simon spend about $8000 at a Hamptons boutique on clothes and shoes that you will probably wear once if at all?....Are you not living in a Brooklyn townhouse and spending god knows what in re-furbish­ment?...Is that a BMW 745 you are driving...the one you loaded with baggage before you flew off to a Caribean vacation...to get away from the terrible stress in your narcistic lifestyle?...Back here on planet reality REAL people are out of work and struggling between grocery bills and mortgage payments...And you give us this Marie Antoinette crap...Oh, Madame Guillotine your resurecctiuon is sorely needed...

[ashleelisbeth]

Well written piece.
You're my favorite, btw.

[merger]

Thanks for sharing and for being real. This was so well written and interesting. I wish you well and happy-hunting for a new job.

[QueenCeleste]

Sorry about your job loss. May you find something you love, and soon.

I must tell you I am a great fan of your show. And I agree with the others who think that Ramona's treatment of Simon (and you) is atrocious! Or does the show encourage such manufactured scenarios? As the conflicts grow with each episode I imagine the little dust-ups are magnified for dramatic impact.

I very much look forward to your posts to come!

[smarttart001]

So well written, Alex...Thank you for a great read.

[JANICE3]

The American Idol judges are gettig more and more useless all the time. They discuss the clothes, the hairstyles, etc. It is so silly. If they say the singers cant sing, or that they have chosen a song that is too difficult for them, it would make sense. But they are not doing that. Besides they are propping
some of the people up, in favor of weak contestants, against the better ones. They are going to make the weak singers last, when the strong are falling by the way side. They are doing that for the Blind and playing the sympathy card for him. He is a great guy, and modestly talented, but not as good as some of the others. The young sixteen year old girl is wonderful, has a voice that is strong and varied, and she is liable to be dismissed because they talked almost exclusively about her wardrobe. How ridiculous is that. They arent stylists, and dont even know what they are doing in their own wardrobe, let alone tell someone else what to wear. I am starting to stew. If they ruin this show again by this kind of stupid stuff, I will quit it.

[Yamunation]

This was well-written. As a graphic designer looking for work right now, I can attest to the fact that it's a tough field to find a job in.

However, I don't know if this article made me feel any better, or gave me any new insight. As someone who is already open to new ventures, those ventures seem to happen only when the market is good. There are no jobs out there now, and certainly nothing new you can just try out. Having other skills you can fall back on, like Alex did, doesn't seem to help these days.The resume has been updated, and sent out daily.

Good luck to both of us.

[jenrose]

Alex,

I can't believe what Ramona said about you both being shallow. She is a real ditz to say the least and a total unsophisticated individual. She needs to lose her New Jersey diction before she brings her personna so high. My ex-husband was from NY and he worked very hard on the regional slang for the business world.

You and hubby are the more real and down to earth characters in my view. I think of you both as more cosmopolitan and european, more sophisticated than the others.

Sorry about your layoff (shocking) Im a laid off 57 yr old and I like your adivice because I've worn many hats in my long career and Im getting interviews. Im being picky as the right job has to work for myself and the new employer. I don't want to work with all 35 yearolds either. I want a diverse atmosphere.

Best of luck to you! Good article!!

[Azmom]

Hi, Alex. Good to see you here. I enjoy both you and Simon on your show. Keep up the good work !

PS: Tell Luann that there are people out here who feel for her.

[Sandmanj]

Alex,

Nice to see you here on Huffpost. My wife and I enjoy watching the show and find you and Simon the most refreshing and "Real" out of all the housewives and cast. From former New Yorkers and now with young children, we look forward to your book about the urban parent (which I think will be witty, fun and full of informative ancedotes).

I wish you much luck in your job hunt. Times are tough for everybody!

[evmcelroy]

Alex,
Great post - you're an excellent writer. Good luck with the job search.