What Kind Of Role Model Are You?

A dear friend of mine died this past week from pancreatic cancer. Juan was only 57 years old, and unlike either Patrick Swayze or Steve Jobs, he did not have much time to resist or fight, let alone overcome, the fast-spreading disease in his body that was killing him. Tragically, the period from initial diagnosis to his passing on was only about five weeks!

On Saturday, I attended a celebratory mass held for Juan, which turned out to be a "standing-room" only event. People literally came from around the world to honor his life and share in his memory. Listening to the eulogy for Juan, I must say, was rather surreal for me. I couldn't get out of my mind that I had recently posted a piece, "How Do You Want To Be Remembered?," on this very site (on December 24th, to be exact), in which I introduced a eulogy writing exercise. The intent of my article was to encourage everyone, including yours truly, to do some "soul searching" or self-reflection during the holiday season and, especially, in preparation for the New Year. In particular, regardless of their religious or faith-based orientation, I urged people to consider seriously if they were now living and working in such a way that the last comments about them, i.e., a eulogy, would really be what they wanted to have said?

Against this backdrop, my friend, Juan, would be very proud indeed; for what was said about him last Saturday surely must have reflected his personal, albeit humble, desires! While his life may have been cut short, it is clear to me that his kind and loving "spirit" lives on in the individual and collective minds, hearts, and souls of many others. Knowing Juan like I do, I can testify that he was always mindful of life's many and unique blessings. In other words, he was not someone who lived his life on "auto-pilot" or "cruise control," ignoring the many things, both small and large, that really (should) matter, until it was too late.

No, that is not the Juan that I knew as a friend, colleague, and kindred spirit. On the contrary, his was a life that I believe was focused authentically and responsibly on meaning, not on either the will to power or will to pleasure. And from what I was able to gather at Saturday's mass, the way that Juan lived and worked served--and continues to do so--as an influential and inspirational "role model" for many other people, including his family members, friends, colleagues, and others, who are on a similar quest for the deeper meaning in their lives.

Role model: In general use, any person who serves as an example, whose behavior is emulated by others.

Juan, as was eloquently described in a eulogy delivered by his son, Andres, was well known for his valiant efforts to "bridge different worlds" whenever and wherever it was needed or desired. Born in Rome, Italy, to a family that was originally from Nicaragua, it was quite natural for Juan to be able to bridge different worlds from the start, since being a "global citizen," in effect, was genetically coded into his DNA! He was educated in Italy and in the USA, and worked internationally in the financial services sector for most of his professional career. In this regard, he travelled extensively in Europe and Latin America, with extended sojourns in Panama and Guatemala, besides living and working in the States. Fluent in multiple languages, Juan, again, was a "natural" bridge-builder between different cultures. He not only enjoyed and was exceptionally adept at such a role, he thrived on it! Whatever the challenge that needed to be faced, be it personal or work-related, Juan had a gift of helping people reach common ground by going to a higher ground. Now how is that for being a positive and meaningful "role model?!"

Juan, I can also say without hesitation, was a true gentleman in every respect. Most importantly, he was a "gentle" man, who believed in the true value of friendship and was authentically committed to exhibiting friendship in all of his associations and interpersonal relationships, both in his personal life and at work. With consistency and integrity, he demonstrated the following attributes of friendship that, once again, can only be viewed as positive and meaningful "role modeling" behaviors: the tendency to desire what is best for the other person; sympathy and empathy towards others; honesty and truthfulness; unwavering loyalty; a spirit of cooperation and willingness to support those in need; respect for other people and their opinions; and a desire to foster mutual understanding. Indeed, who would not want to have such qualities? And who would not want to be recognized by others as a person who possesses and manifests them in everyday life?

Live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now.--Viktor E. Frankl

Yes, my friend Juan was a role model on many different levels. I will surely miss him. At the same time, he has left behind some visible footprints (perhaps we can even call them "soulprints") that not only comprise an integral part of his life "legacy" but also provide more evidence of his existence, his human-ness, as an inspirational "role model" in the lives of others, including myself. Juan loved and will always be loved. Juan lived and will always live. Juan's commitment to the value of friendship will forever bring warmth to the meaning of life.

So, what kind of "role model" are you today? And what kind of positive and meaningful footprints (soulprints) are you preparing to leave behind? What are you doing today to ensure that these footprints remain visible well after you have gone?

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You can find out more about Dr. Alex Pattakos, author of the international bestselling book, Prisoners of Our Thoughts, in his HuffPost Bio and at http://www.prisonersofourthoughts.com. See also his "Dr. Meaning" Channel on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/DrMeaning. You can contact Alex at: [e-mail].

Comments

[debbekennedy]

Dear Alex,
Sorry to hear about the loss of your friend, Juan. Obviously, he had many special gifts. Your reflection again affirms how much we have to learn from one another --- and that the learning can have sweeping eternal influences on others across time and dimensions of life that we may never know about.
A few years ago, I read a story about Gandhi. He was traveling on a train on his weekly day of silence.
When asked by a journalist if he had a message to share, Gandhi scrawled a few words on a piece of paper and held them up in the window. It read, "My life is my message." I have this quote framed on my desk and several places in my home. They constantly ask me your compelling question: "What kind of role model are you today?"
Thank you for a meaningful reminder.
Debbe Kennedy

[Alex Pattakos - Huffpost Blogger]

And thank you, Debbe, for the story about Gandhi. It also is a powerful and meaningful reminder! Now if we could all just "walk the talk" and ...!

[Alex Pattakos - Huffpost Blogger]

I encourage everyone to view the following video: http://www.maniacworld.com/are-you-going-to-finish-strong.html

What a truly inspirational role model! And please reflect upon the power and meaning of his message.

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

Wonderful Alex-

Recently Deb and I got a call that our friend Susan died. It was a shock as we didn't know she was ill. She had cancer and didn't tell most of her friend until a few days before her death. Susan was a brilliant poet and people thought she would be the one to live the longest.

when I leave this world i would like people to say, "He loved."

Joyfully,

Ed

[Alex Pattakos - Huffpost Blogger]

I'm sorry to hear about your friend, Susan. Let her poetry live on!

Ed, I have no doubt that you are leaving many large "soulprints" that unmistakenly call out, "HE LOVED!"

With meaning,
Bro Alex

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Dear Alex,

What a moving tribute to your friend and what a blessing for you to have known him.

As to being a role model myself - what a question! As the eldest of three children, I felt it was expected of me to "set a good example" to my siblings. Setting a good example meant "behaving" according to the wishes of my parents. Which was understandable from their point of view. However, I am naturally something of a rebel, If I am told to do one thing, my inclination is to do the opposite. My mother would caution me: Anne, you must conform. In some respects, I did try. But I am not much of a conformer. And my life has turned into a rich adventure, matching none of their hopes and expectations.

If I am to be a role model, it would be to demonstrate being authentically myself, faults and weaknesses, strengths and assets, and loving them all. Being myself, enjoying to the full this precious gift of life I have been given. A soulprint that I would like to leave behind is a piece of writing that will offer hope, encouragement and inspiration for future generations.

Thank you, Alex for this beautiful post.
Anne

[StuZimmerman]

Dear Alex.. and Anne,

As Anne points out, especially as a parent (in my case of 5 children), being a role model is one of my primary tasks in life.

What I want to role model for my children (and others) is - like Anne - to be authentic and unrelenting in living a life of peace, love and joy. Because that is what I would want for my children. Even if it's self-styled and not at all traditional by others' standards. After all, who else is waking up in my skin and bones every day?

And thank you Alex, for inviting us all to write our own desired eulogy. It's a great exercise to perform a "gap analysis" between our cuurent self and our Highest Self.

Stu

[Alex Pattakos - Huffpost Blogger]

Stu, like Anne, you are a gem! Both of you are incredible inspirations! Thank you!

[Alex Pattakos - Huffpost Blogger]

Thank you, Anne, for your very thoughtful and kind comments. Your "story" reminds me of how a butterfly comes into being. The idea of a "role model," in other words, is not a static concept. As with everything else in life, role models evolve and transform, much like a butterfly (ideally!). As we strive for becoming our "authentic" selves, our "role" (no pun intended) as "role model" evolves and transforms. Thank you for pointing this "fact" of life out to us!

[Glamorosa]

My friend Danny passed away today he also had pancreatic cancer. Danny was a very strong individual
and encountered a lot of racial abuse growing up in a dysfunctional family. When I visited him on Sunday in the hospice I noticed a very profound and peaceful aura surrounding his shallow breathing.
We glanced at each other and he looked into my eyes it seemed like an eternity.

Rest in peace brave soul

[Alex Pattakos - Huffpost Blogger]

Amen. Both Danny and you "are" very fortunate to be friends. Thank you for sharing a bit of the meaningful and authentic connection that you have with each other.

[saami]

After my divorce I was worried about the effects on my children. I was completely blown away when my middle son's teacher told me of how he reached out to another child whose parents were going through a divorce and befriended him. His kindness to this other boy warmed my heart. That was the nicest and best thing a parent can hear about their child.

[Alex Pattakos - Huffpost Blogger]

Thanks for sharing! As a parent, you've also warmed my heart!

[curiousasheck]

Okay let me see. . .how bout~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~Curious acquired economic power that resulted in an elevated socio-economic status and disproportional influence over the lives of the less successful; and those who have utterly failed or refused to participate. He became the proud owner of all the symbols of conspicuous consumption!

[Alex Pattakos - Huffpost Blogger]

O.K., "curious as heck," you got me: I'm at a loss for words! Curious, isn't it?!