The Corporate Freshman: Entering the Ring of Motherhood versus Career

So it's official. I'm somebody's mother.

My journey began nine months ago and stepped up in intensity when I went into labor three and a half weeks early in the wee morning hours of March 2. My water broke at 4:30AM and my son, Jonah Vincent Shankman, was in the world via emergency c-section by 7:30AM. It seems that he, like his mom, likes to be efficient.

More so than graduating college, getting married, making VP at a communications consulting firm, or publishing a book, having a child is a defining rite of passage into adulthood. On Babycenter.com, the social network where I've met dozens of moms also expecting in March 2008, I'm amazed by the women in their early to mid twenties who already feel empowered to take this step. I wasn't remotely ready until I was 30, and even now some days I question that readiness.

For me, it was important to establish myself in not one but two careers before I became a mother. In the communications world, I wanted to climb to middle management - with a desirable and highly marketable skill set and in a position to command a strong salary - even if I needed to take a few years off. At the same time, I wanted to create a uniquely twenty-first century career path as a business author and speaker that would allow me to do work I enjoy on a flexible schedule that gelled with raising a child.

By the time March 2, 2008 rolled around, I was almost 32 years old and had managed to achieve both. But - and call it new mother doubts or baby blues or whatever - two weeks later I feel career insecurity bubbling up inside. I've always been a person most comfortable working myself to the bone. My performance expectations are very high, and generally the busier I am, the happier I am. And as long as it was just my husband and me, it was easy to tightly control both careers. If I wanted to do an extra day of communications consulting one week, I just went. I had the freedom to work on my books at all hours of the day and night. I could fly off to Connecticut to do a speaking engagement at a Fortune 500 insurance firm at a moment's notice. I was never uncomfortable. I never felt torn.

Now, however, my son moves into the position of top priority, and I simply won't be able to conduct my affairs in the same way. I worry that all of the career momentum I've worked so hard to build will stall and disappear. I know that I will see other people in my field(s) who don't have children keeping up with the trends, taking advantage of more opportunities, and getting more attention, and I fear that I will envy them.

I suppose only time will tell how I will handle the situation, and how I will balance being a mom with being a successful author and consultant. At least I know I'm not alone. Women have been doing this for years, and as the ones on Babycenter prove, they're starting younger and younger. I look to them, as well as all of you, for advice and encouragement as I embark on this new phase of life.

Follow Alexandra Levit on Twitter: www.twitter.com/alevit

Comments

[almurray]

Congratulations on becoming a mom. It's not easy to balance work and family, but it is doable. Just do what you love and your family will be thankful. You'll find time to spend with your new baby. It will all come together. Your post reminds me of myself, a relatively new mom, and two years later, I'm still trying to figure out the balance, but it's coming. Some days I feel I need to be closer to my son on a daily basis, other days I feel good that I get out and have a career and am able (and fortunate) to provide for my family. Good luck on your journey!

[NWReader]

You become an adult by learning to put someone else before your self. In many of us - myself included - parenthood fits the bill.

You'll learn to ballance your old career with your new role, or you'll take the pieces of your old career and build a new one from them.

Don't let fear of change prevent you from enjoying the relationship you're building with your son. The greatest joys of life are the joys of parenthood.

[67bug]

Blech! Glad I never had kids! Never wanted the high-power career either. You know what? I'm still an adult, living life on my own terms....