Boat Mates: Six Key Principles

A few weeks ago, I set out on a boat trip down the Colorado River. My oarsman was Dee Crouch, MD, co-owner of BoulderBoatWorks.com. Dee calls the Colorado his "home" river, and has boated down it more than 100 times.

On the water, we talked philosophy and Indian lore. He also answered my questions about rattlesnakes, scorpions, and his new boat.

"It's a driftboat. It's called the DC-10" he said. "That means it's gone through ten upgrades."

Not being a river person, I began to think about the ten upgrades not in terms of boat safety and durability, but in terms of my boat mate.

Is a good man like a good boat? I wondered. On that lazy stretch of river, I was thinking of an article I had recently read in Women Today magazine by relationship coach Rinatta Paries.

Men want honest, timely, loving communication, Paries had written. Drifting downstream, I asked myself: What do women want? To me, women want a man who is easy to turn right side up, if the relationship has temporarily capsized. They want a man to be good humored and upbeat.

Men want self-sufficient, secure, confident women, Paries assured her readers. From years of personal experience, I'd say that women want a well-balanced man, who doesn't carry too much emotional baggage in one compartment of his life.

Men want a manipulation-free relationship. And women? Women want a man who is flexible and follows his curiosity. A man who takes risks, but doesn't flirt with danger.

Men want a partner who can laugh at herself, and who has courage and strength. Women want a man who can take hard hits, learn from mistakes, and upgrade continuously. It's OK if he makes a clown of himself.

Men want fidelity and a commitment to the relationship. Women want a practical man. We want a "what you see is what you get" kind of man. We want no surprises mid-river.

Men want women who know how men need to be treated. Women want this too. Women want men who can help keep them afloat. They also want to co-create the journey, and share in the rowing.

On Day 3, I got to row the DC-10. And the weather was a perfect ten too.

This article first appeared on Intent.com